


How can I trust U?

by Amorindorito



Series: For U [1]
Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Also Yoongi's adopted, Alternate Universe, Angst, Breakup, Comedy, Dark, Drama, Endgame yoonmin, Eventual Smut, Implied VKook, M/M, Obsessive Behavior, Orphan - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Switch Jimin, Switch Yoongi, Trust Issues, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, normal life AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2019-06-27 12:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 41,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amorindorito/pseuds/Amorindorito
Summary: Hai everyone! So, this is a collaboration with my friend. The reason why this isn't listed as a collaboration is because she does not have an account on this website or any other website that you can include here. I (Amorindorito) is in charge of most of the writing and both my friend and me are in charge of the story.I hope you enjoy our work together!





	1. Turn away

**Author's Note:**

> Hai everyone! So, this is a collaboration with my friend. The reason why this isn't listed as a collaboration is because she does not have an account on this website or any other website that you can include here. I (Amorindorito) is in charge of most of the writing and both my friend and me are in charge of the story.  
> I hope you enjoy our work together!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mix of people working on BL, breakups, love, angst and some comedy here and there.
> 
> Or a story in which everyone is acting stupid at least at some point in the whole ordeal and Seokjin is done with Jimin's shit. And also me and my friend's attempt at angst.

_Two years ago..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

"I-I'm sorry, Yoongi. I feel like, like this just isn't working out." 

Hoseok's words hit him like a ton of bricks falling onto him. Yoongi stood there, frozen in place staring right at Hoseok. For a moment, he felt nothing, before tears started welling up in his eyes and an uncomfortable lump formed in his throat, suffocating him.  _What?_ Yoongi didn't understand. Why would he want to... break up with him? It was going well, wasn't it? No one knew about their relationship aside from their close friends and Hoseok's managers. No one, everything was relatively safe and going so smoothly, so why now? 

"Why? What isn't working out?" Yoongi choked out.

"I don't know, Yoongi. I just think- that maybe there isn't anything to us at all? I don't really... feel anything with you. I mean, I... I'm just sorry, Yoongi. I don't think I can do this anymore."

Yoongi's face fell. He felt like he was falling too. His world, his light, his everything was falling apart. Slowly, the growing, nasty emotions curling up and tugging at his stomach turned into something else. Something bubbling with fury and slowly starting to boil over. The thing clogging up his throat suddenly disappeared, and he felt like he could spit whatever out at Hoseok now. His fists clenched, and before he knew it he was already opening his mouth.

"Well whatever then! Fuck you! I don't care!! I've... I've never cared!" He shouted, and he didn't even register half of the shit he was spouting at this point. He just kept on going for the sake of going. "You were not even a good boyfriend, and always having to hide our relationships, not even being able to hold hands or kiss in public, I-I... I hated it all!"

He stopped to notice Hoseoks hurt expression, and he felt a pang of guilt in his gut, but ignored it.

"Well... it's not like I could help any of it! I like my job, and I'm _sorry_  if that left you unsatisfied, but... but you also should've been prepared if you were going to commit to a relationship with me!" Now Hoseok was crying and his voice was wobbly. The gnawing feeling of guilt was tearing at Yoongi's insides, but he forced himself to remain ignorant. He's already had enough of this. He didn't want anymore. He wanted to leave.

"Shut up! Just... shut up!" Yoongi stormed past Hoseok for the front door for a quick escape, with the other person shouting desperately after him.

"W-wait, Yoongi...! Let's talk about this! Yoongi!!" 

Yoongi jammed his feet into his shoes and grabbed for the front doors handle, just as Hoseok arrived in the hallway. For a moment, Yoongi thought of just leaving, but decided that he'd give Hoseok a last piece of his mind as he turned back with a fierce look in his eyes.

"Look, Ho-fucking-seok. If you wanna break up, then fucking _fine_." He spat at him, and Hoseok flinched. It must've looked quite funny, him being all angry with tears running down his cheeks. "I don't care. Just... don't show your face to me again. I don't want to see you."

After that, the door was slammed shut. Yoongi could faintly hear Hoseoks cries for him, but when he opened the door, Yoongi was already gone, running towards the bus stop with alarms going off screaming at him that he should go back and just fix everything that he'd potentially destroyed. He ignored that feeling too. He just wanted to ignore every feeling that came his way. Why did handling emotions always have to be so damn hard? He wanted to just feel nothing right now. As he was stepping onto the bus, he didn't want to think about the situation that'd just happened, yet he couldn't help the few thoughts that were slipping into his mind.

 _It was all so easy. Unsettingly easy. Just those few magical words out of Hoseok's mouth and Yoongi was already trying to run away, leaving both of them in pain and hurt, everything being left unresolved._ _It almost came as fast as it went. In an instant. Looking back on it, it could've turned out much better. All if they'd just... agh, just shut up. I don't have time for this._

That night, he got himself shitfaced drunk off on the booze he'd been saving up. More tears were lost and anguished screams were echoing in the walls of his apartment, and in the end he ended up passing out. Yet, the next morning, he still couldn't forget anything.

_Current day_

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

Yoongi sighed as he finished editing up all of the latest raws from Taehyung. He leaned back into his chair and relaxed a little. Editing and typesetting Taehyung's works was always tough. Though his art was absolutely beautiful, his stories were always crazy and bizarre heaps of content, and he always used non-existent words, so it was hard to know how they were spelled. His upcoming work is a collaboration with another author though, whose name Yoongi did not remember. Something like Bum or JB or something, who was nonetheless well known for his very languid paced but understandable works, so maybe that'd help Taehyung produce a little bit more of an understandable manga. 

Yoongi looked up at the clock on the other side of the wall. Two forty-one PM. That's _very_ early. He's lucky he's been working extra hard these past days to ease his piles of work. Well, he was finished with his workload for the day anyway, and there was no harm in finishing a few several hours early. He certainly wasn't going to wait around for the managers to give him extra work either. He stood up from the chair and began making his way towards the door. 

"I'm finished up for the day." He told the others in the room, and the manager gave a nod. Yoongi strutted out of the office, ready to just take the bus home and collapse onto his soft bedding. He went down the building's staircase and ambled out of the front doors, where he met a familiar face. _Seokjin_. Yoongi heaved a sigh and put his hand on his hip. 

"What do you want Seokjin?"

Seokjin put a dramatically hurt look on his face as his hand flew up to press against his chest. "How could you meet me, your very best friend, with such a cold greeting!? And where oh where's the Hyung!? You disrespectful brat!" 

"Well then, _Hyung_ , what do you want?"

Seokjin rolled his eyes, but started smiling lightly afterwards. "The group is inviting us for food at the usual place." 

"Ah?" Yoongi thought back to the clock. _I mean, it's only two forty. I rarely get time off. Why not spend it away on friends?_  Yoongi thought for himself. "Okay, I guess. I'm kind of tired though." 

Jin's face lit up and he bounced up and down on his feet like a five year old. "Doesn't matter! The point is that you didn't refuse! Lets go~!"

"You'd drag me with you anyhow..." Yoongi muttered as he let himself be taken away by Seokjin and practically thrown in his car. 

Though, he didn't really mind. 

 

*****

 

"Oh my GOD you SUCK MAJOR COCK-- Augh!!" Jin slapped Jungkook over the head so hard that his forehead hit the table. "What the hell, Hyung!? I was just commenting on Taehyung's story--" He was quickly cut off by the deadly stare Seokjin gave him. 

"What's wrong with my story!? I think it's good!" Taehyung defended his story.

"Um! A superhuman named Fruito von Pinapple that can spawn cucumbers fighting a villain that can make people trip!? Have you _completely_ lost it?"

"No, actually! I think my idea is very creative."

"Aaaand then they fuck. The villain and the hero? And what, is their first time going to be unsuccessful because the villain will make the hero trip over him or something? You're crazy." Jungkook spat. Taehyung started hissing at him.

"Oh shut up lovebirds, we're at a restaurant if you're not aware. And for your information, you're both crazy." Jimin said as he took a sip of his hot chocolate. Jungkook rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue at Jimin. Yoongi sighed deeply, drank the first gulps of his coffee and put his hand onto his head.

"This is not what I came here for."

"Aw, are you getting head aches already? Wow, Hyung is really getting too old! Haha!" Jungkook teased him. Yoongi scowled at him. 

"Well at least I have more wisdom than you ever will have." 

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. It's actually been scientifically proven that age doesn't actually correlate to wisdom." Jungkook stated with his index finger up in the air proudly.

"Then, I would like it realistically proven to me that you aren't just bullshitting here by you giving me the source that wrote it." Yoongi fixed Jungkook with a sharp glare, whom quickly averted his eyes and bit his lip.

"Uh... well I..." He started, and out of the corner of his eye, Yoongi could see a bead of sweat searching it's way down the side of Jungkook's face. _Ha, caught you red handed you little piece of shit._  Yoongi thought smugly for himself.

"And there you go." Yoongi clapped his hands in finalization of the argument. Jungkook's shoulders slumped and he sighed, putting his hands up in a quiet demonstration of defeat. "And by the way, in Korea, we actually consider the older ones to be in a higher position at all times, so if your parents didn't teach you, now you know." Yoongi snarled.

"Oof, ouch. That was a low blow." Namjoon remarked. Jungkook just shrugged his shoulders.

"Used to it."

The other's started casually conversating and Yoongi shrugged it off. As he drank more of the coffee he took notice of the other person who wasn't talking besides him. Seokjin. Somewhy, he had been awfully quiet this afternoon. Of course, he occasionally laughed and smiled, and spouted a few words here and there but for the most part he remained suspiciously silent. Of course, as an actor and model, he could easily keep a straight face, but Yoongi could see him fidgeting around with his fingers sometimes and check the watch on his arm _a lot_. His eyes were travelling around the cafe and outside the windows as if in search of something. Yoongi had known, and once upon a time lived with Seokjin long enough to know his telling features. Something here was up.

Yoongi was just about to open his mouth to ask what was up as Seokjin took notice of him. He smiled in a way that told him: _Please, please don't say anything. I know you know that I am hiding something but don't ask about it because right now I really, really can't have you getting everyone else suspicious_. Yoongi slowly closed his mouth and took a sip of his coffee. _Let's just wait for a while and see what happens_.

After twenty minutes or something of colorful chatter and more orders and more money spending that would in the end all be on Namjoon, Seokjin rose up. Everyone looked up to him.

"Umm... So, now, I'm sorry I didn't really tell you all, but I kinda invited another person." Seokjin said in an awkward manner, waving his hand. Yoongi narrowed his eyes suspiciously. 

" _Seokjin_." Yoongi said warningly. He better not invite the person he thought he was inviting. He already should've given up on trying to get them to meet again. 

"Ooh, who is it?" Taehyung asked, and Seokjin shook his head.

"It's a surprise~!" Seokjin sang cheerfully, and before he went out, he looked back and mouthed 'I'm sorry' to Yoongi and he contemplated making up an excuse to leave.

As Seokjin left he noticed Jimin whispering to Namjoon.

"Do you think he's really bringing...?"

"Shh, I don't know." Namjoon hushed him. This was getting more and more suspicious. Besides, now that he thought about it, this whole thing was suspicious. Seokjin was outside the company building abnormally early, even though he knows Yoongi usually finsishes work very late. How did he know that Yoongi would finish earlier today? Besides, he and Namjoon works in the same department and it's his off day today. And he and Jin often speak with each other through social media. Namjoon could've said to him that Yoongi was mostly finished with his work. It was almost as if this was planned. He looked around as he waited for a bit and flinched as Seokjin's talking came closer among footsteps. He didn't want to raise his head.

"Well. He's here." Seokjin said. After that, an all too familiar voice spoke.

"Uh. H-hi everyone." It was Hoseok. Of course it fucking was. It just had to be him.

After that, everything happened so fast. 

Taehyung shone up and jumped out of his seat to hug the Hoseok, and Namjoon enthusiastically greeted him. Jungkook sat there, not really knowing who the person was. Taehyung screamed out how much he'd missed him and Seokjin was laughing gleefully. Namjoon had stopped mid-greeting to consider Yoongi and see how he was doing, Jimin's hand was somewhy squeezing his and Yoongi started hyperventilating. Jimin was beside him, staring at him worriedly. Taehyung was still hugging Hoseok. It was getting hard to breathe. Yoongi wanted to leave. 

He stood up abruptly, and gained everyone's attention in an instant. He slammed a few WON bills onto the table.

"Ah, Y-Yoongi!" Seokjin began but Yoongi abruptly cut him off.

"Thanks for taking me out for a meal. I appreciate it. But, I think it's getting kinda late and I need to get in some sleep for work tomorrow. Good bye." Yoongi said, pushing his way past Seokjin, not looking him, Hoseok, or anyone else in the eye. Seokjin fumbled with his words, before just shaking his head and deciding to run after Yoongi instead. He quickly told Hoseok to wait there and ran after the all too quickly retreating Yoongi.

"Yoongi, wait!" Seokjin yelled after him as Yoongi stormed out of the building. 

"Shut the fuck up Seokjin!" Yoongi spat. "I trusted you. How could you do this to me!?"

"It's for your best Yoongi! You haven't had anyone ever since and you still call me sometimes grieving over him! You need to talk it out, right here, right now! Like grown up adults." Seokjin said, grabbing for his arm.

Yoongi swung around, wrenching his arm out of Seokjin's grip. His eyes stung with tears he didn't want to come out and his breaths were coming out in harsh panting. "Seokjin, I don't _need_ to talk it out with him."

" _You do Yoongi_." Seokjin said through clenched teeth. "You know as well as I do you haven't let him go. _Come on_. You're not a _child_ anymore, don't be so damn stubborn! I was on my knees trying to get Hoseok to come here! And besides, you _owe_ me! And not only me, but almost everyone else! Because of you and Hoseok's breakup it drastically affected mine, Namjoon's, Jimin's and Taehyung's relationship with him! For everyone, for me, for _you_ , do yourself this favor and just talk it out with him!"

 "Seokjin I told you--" Yoongi started but before he could finish Seokjin was there before him, hands gripping the sides of his arms hard. His face was hurt, desperate while also determined. 

"Yoongi _listen to me_. What you are doing is--"

Yoongi shrugged Seokjin's arms off of him. He shook his head. "I'm _sorry_ Seokjin. I can't do this. I don't want to. And I'm not going to do it either." He took a step back to emphasize. A falling feeling was gnawing at him, but he ignored it. But the feeling was quickly becoming heavier as Seokjin's face also fell, and his clenched fists relaxed and unclenched. A look of disappointment lingered in his eyes and his shoulders were slumped. Guilt was eating Yoongi up.

"Yoongi I really can't understand you. Why... _why_ can't you just give in? No, why can't you just _accept_ it and have a simple conversation that will eventually in the end _help_ you? You do realize that because of you me and everyone else can't have a casual relationship with Hoseok? It's been two years. Two years is enough already. _Come on Yoongi_. Think of everyone else for once."

Yoongi's hand found his arm and he looked down. "Sorry."

Seokjin let out a frustrated sound as his body tensed up and his fingers clenched into fists once again. He was shaking and small tears were forming in the corner of his eyes. "You're really selfish, you know that Yoongi? You don't know the impact you have on everyone else just because you are being childish and not wanting to do something. _Just_ because it might pull up some bad hurty-hurty memories that you always just _run away from_! He screamed the last part, and Yoongi clicked his tongue.

" _Of course I know the impact I have, I just_ \--"

"Then when the hell will you start facing your problems!? Take responsibility for once!"

"I will someday. I just... I'm just not ready yet." Yoongi mumbled as he everted his eyes.

"And _when_ will that be, Min Yoongi?" Seokjin said in a heavy breath. "It's been two years Yoongi. Two whole years. It's... exhausting. Always, always having to be careful when hanging out with Hoseok, and being careful when talking to you sometimes, and then having to still listen to your rants but not being able to say anything because just one sentence could trigger you off to ignore me or anyone else for _weeks_."

Yoongi bit his lip. He suddenly felt small. "Look Seokjin. I don't know when but... I... I promise. I'll do it someday. Just please... give me time."

Seokjin slumped again. He sighed, a sigh full of disappointment, irritation and hopelessness. "Well. Whatever. I can't force you. Do it your way. You know, I really thought better of you. You don't know what you're doing to everyone. To you. With this, you're also practically rejecting someone who... loves you very whole heartedly." Seokjin frowned, as if he'd said something he shouldn't have before beginning to going inside the building again.

"Just stop it! There's no way... there's no way that Hoseok would want me back again! Stop saying stuff like he loves me...!" Yoongi yelled after him, but there was no one to listen.

Yoongi sighed and looked around. People were staring strangely at him, it was getting slightly dark and the buses had most likely started going much less frequently. _Great, just great_. If he was lucky, he'd just have to wait one hour, but at worst he'd have to do with three hours. And the walk home was long. He let out a frustrated growl and leaned against the café building wall, slowly sliding down into a sitting position. He sat there for a while, hopelessly crying.

 _Dammit, this isn't going to help anything. I should check the bus times_. He thought as he wiped his tears, and just as he pulled up his phone the café's doors opened, and a distraught Jimin strotted out. He looked around for a bit before noticing Yoongi. 

"Ah! Hyung, there you are! I was worried you'd left." Jimin ran up to him with some bills in his small hand and a worried look plastered onto his face. "You left more money than needed to pay for your coffees and desserts, so I'm here to give it to you. And you know, you could've just left the paying to Namjoon-Hyung. But well, doing that every time is kind of mean, isn't it? Haha." Jimin laughed and put on a smile, but he still couldn't hide the worry in his face and the tense clenching of his jaw. Yoongi didn't respond and just took the money, putting it in his pockets.

"U-um, are the buses not going anymore? You know, my place is pretty close to here, just around the corner. You can sleep over if you want, Hyung. I can give you a change of clothes and I have spare toothbrushes, and I'll even let you use my shampoo and shower gel." Jimin stretched out his hand for Yoongi to take. Yoongi stared up at it. _Should I take it? I mean, I don't really have anywhere else to go. It would be faster, I don't have to wait for the bus and I haven't slept over at Jimin's for a while._

Yoongi met his eyes. Jimin's eyes were full of worry, care, and warmth. All things that he definitely didn't deserve. He didn't deserve Jimin's kindness and hospitality, not one bit, and yet.

 

_And yet, he still found himself taking that hand so full of warmth._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there~ With ending this chapter I just wanted to say that I am not experienced in what kind of work goes into a manga, and I do not know what kind of different sectors of jobs are required or which kinds of departments there are. I'm basically just making up my own kind of way of producing manga (And sorry if I offend anyone with this), so I just wanted to let you all know how the boys' jobs specifically work.
> 
> Taehyung and Jimin are manga authors. They write the story and script, they draw the story and the scenes, and they get help from their editors to refine their stories. Taehyung is known for his crazy and weird stories with normal starts, strange main story and weirdly conclusive ends, while Jimin likes his stories very dramatically romantic with lots of cliffhangers, and often likes the story to go 0 to 100 to 0 in a repeating cycle. He also very much likes to keep his works going in series, so he never really gives a true ending.
> 
> Namjoon is an editor. He helps, as stated above, manga authors refine their work and give them tips. He also meets the author personally and helps out with general production. He is generally liked by everyone in the company, and is known as the legendary editor of wisdom. It is said that due to his intellect and immense skills, any author whom he works with will have a successfull manga.
> 
> Yoongi is just an office worker for manga. He's quite well rounded, he does things like typeset, set the effects and sfx, he cleans and digitally edits the raws among other things. Sometimes, he even assists in things like translating foreign works into Korean, though he is never the main translator, as he is not very experienced. Though, because he is very experienced in nearly everything, the managers often put loads of work on him, and it isn't rare that he has to stay overtime. That has made him value his off time a lot, which he likes to spend on either sleeping or hanging out with friends.
> 
> Jungkook is just a normal (But handsome) café worker and Jin is just the usual (But handsome) model/actor.
> 
> Also, I would just like to point out that no one here is really the bad guy. I mean, everyone makes mistakes and acts stupid sometimes. But from the boys' viewpoints, they can really make out someone to be a piece of human trash, so that's just a warning.
> 
> With that, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and will stay for more~!


	2. Sides to Jimin

_Current day_

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

"Hyung! I made the beddings on the sofa for you!" Jimin shouted. A dull hum of confirmation came from the bathroom, and Jimin turned to go into his room. He closed the door softly behind him and sighed. _God dammit Yoongi. Why did he have to be so stubborn_? He fished up his phone and checked the messages. No new ones. He went onto him and Seokjin-Hyung's chat and typed:

' _later, do you think that we could talk a little bit? i brought yoongi-hyung home, we can talk when he sleeps maybe?_ '

' _Of course_.'

Seokjin-Hyung's answer came in a few seconds and Jimin sighed out a breath of relief.

' _i'll contant you when he falls asleep_ '

Jimin left it at that and leaned against the door and closed his eyes. _Something about this had to be done soon_. _Otherwise he'd probably never..._ He flinched as his thoughts were interrupted when he heard the bathroom door open and heavy footsteps emerge out of the room.

"Hey, Jimin? Do you maybe have a change of clothes for me or...?" Yoongi asked, and Jimin's mind suddenly sprung to life again. He scrambled towards his closet to find some kind of clothing that would fit Yoongi-Hyung. Luckily, they were about the same size and had somewhere around each other's sizes in clothing.

"I'll have something for you in just a minute!" He yelled back. He found a large, white zip-less hoodie and a pair of baggy grey sweatpants to bring. He opened the door and walking around to find Yoongi-Hyung in the living room on the bedded sofa, drawing invisible lines with his finger on the coffee table. He had nothing on besides a towel wrapped around his waist. His messily towel-dried hair was still dripping and the leftover water on his body seemed to light up his slender, lithe body, even though the living room's lights was on a very dim light level. Was it just him or was the steam coming from the bathroom warming up the room? Jimin ignored the heat rising to his face by the site of Yoongi-Hyung and put on a soft smile as he strotted over to Yoongi-Hyung, putting the clothes beside him and sat down.

"Here you go." 

"...Thanks." Yoongi took the clothes, pulling them on. They sat there in silence for a few minutes, Yoongi fidgeting around with the bedding cover. Jimin sighed.

"Hey, Yoongi-Hyung?"

"...What?" 

Jimin gulped. "Why... didn't you want to see Hoseok?"

Now, see, Jimin _does_ realize that speaking about this is the same as running around on a mine field, and that this is probably the least smart decision he could possibly make right now. But he wants to know. He really, really wants to know what's keeping him back. If Jimin just gets to know why Yoongi's so stubborn then maybe he could... maybe he could--

"It's none of your business, Jimin." 

"But Hyung--"

"Why do you want to know anyway?" Yoongi-Hyung snarled as he made eye contact with Jimin, who put his best puppy face on. Yoongi flinched back, and sighed. "Fine, I just wasn't ready, okay?"

"Is that really all?"

" _Yes_."

Jimin whined a little. "You know Yoongi-Hyung, I would like to see Hoseok too, you know. Talk with him, hang out with him, and talk and hang out with him in front and with you. It would just be... nice to go back to the old days, you know? With no strings attached. And then... maybe you could move on?"

"Jimin, just drop it." Yoongi-Hyung dragged out his voice in irritation, making Jimin step back a notch. _Ah, I might've went too far_. 

"...Oh, um. Sorry, Hyung. But-but I have one more question. Would you please answer it?" Jimin asked cautiously, and when Yoongi-Hyung didn't answer, Jimin took it as a yes. "Say Hyung... even though you... might've not really gotten over Hoseok, could you still maybe, uh, fall in love again? With someone else?"

Yoongi looked away. "I don't know." Was his simple answer. Jimin sighed, before standing up again. 

"Well then, sleep well Hyung. Food's in the kitchen if you want anything." Jimin said before leaving the room. He clicked his tongue in irritation at the conversation they'd had before. Hyung really didn't know when to give up. _So annoying_. A dark expression spread over his face. _Well, whatever. He'd come around soon enough_.

Jimin just needed to give a little push... somehow.

 

*

_A few hours later..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Loud snoring emanated from the living room. Jimin sneaked into said room to check on Yoongi-Hyung. He was curled up into a tight ball, taking minimal space on the sofa with drool trailing down his mouth. Jimin smiled softly, before turning away to return to his room. He opened up his laptop and placed himself onto the bed. He opened up the chat with Seokjin-Hyung once again as he sunk into his bed, making himself comfortable.

_'jin? you there?'_

_'Ah, yes. Just came on, guess we're lucky :P'_

_'right. can we call?'_

_'Of course.'_

Jimin pressed the call button and in a few moments they were up and talking.

"Sooo, what did you want to talk about?" Seokjin-Hyung exclaimed. "I guess it's about Yoongi?"

"Yeah," Jimin admitted. He continued on in a low, poisonous voice. "Today's attempt at getting him to make up with Hoseok was a fail, huh? Honestly I didn't expect you to bring him of your own accord. You didn't even notify me."

"Why of course, it was a surprise~ And everytime we plan something together, Yoongi always manages to slip away, so I figured if I did it myself then maybe it'd finally work! Besides, I get the feeling that Hoseok trusts me much more than you, him knowing your feelings of course. _And_ how devious you can be." Seokjin-Hyung's voice dropped a little.

"Of course, that's why whenever we worked together it was you that were the one confronting Hoseok. And please, Hyung, don't underestimate my ability to come up with great plans." Jimin chuckled, but it was dry and cold. He could hear Seokjin-Hyung sigh in dissapointment.

"Ahh, seriously Jimin, you should stop that. You really shouldn't have fallen in love with Yoongi, since that's made you like... _this_. Why couldn't you just fall in love with someone else? Like, Taehyung or something. His dating record is pretty clean, and he goes for boys too, so..."

"Hyung, don't insult me, please." Jimin sighed and shook his head. _Right, back on topic_. "Hyung, also--"

"--You've come up with a new plan, yes?" Seokjin-Hyung finished his sentence. Jimin wasn't really surprised about this anymore. Seokjin-Hyung knew him too well.

"Yes. Since I have Yoongi here now, I can take him somewhere tomorrow, and then, coincidentally, you and the others and Hoseok can also be there." Jimin explained, and when Seokjin-Hyung sighed he could practically hear the eyeroll from the other side of the screen.

"Come on, Jimin. Yoongi will never in a thousand years fall for something like that."

"Well, let's try it. If it doesn't work, we try something else. The timing is just perfect for this, I have Yoongi, and you can invite Hoseok. We'll go somewhere secluded, like... the grassy hill by the large lake. The one on the outskirts of town that we used to visit?" 

"Eeh, try somewhere new. Yoongi knows that we know where that place is."

"Ah, right. Well then, why not try the southern forest? I used to go there a lot when I was a kid, and I know a spot just outside of the forest where it's a great place to have a picnic in the afternoon. Besides, it's pretty close to the Southern hotel, just if we need to crash there."

"Ah, yeah, that's pretty far away from here. But are you sure it's secluded?"

"It should be. Of course, it could've changed, but it was my favourite place to go to because it was secluded all of the time, so we'll just bet that it still is." Jimin made a pause to listen after Jin's approval. When he didn't say anything, Jimin continued. "Let's meet there at five PM."

"....Alright." Seokjin-Hyung answered, and Jimin smiled. "But what about his work?"

"I'll call him in sick." 

Seokjin-Hyung laughed a little bit. "Wow. You really are the devil, huh?"

Jimin's smile grew. "I only do what I need to. Bye then, Hyung." 

Jimin didn't prolong the call long enough to hear Seokjin-Hyung's goodbyes. He was way too excited. Tomorrow, he would finally make it happen. He'd make Yoongi-Hyung let go of Hoseok, and after that? Well... he could only hope that the time before Yoongi-Hyung was his wasn't too long.

 

 

*

 

_The next day..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

Ugh, this sucks. 

Yoongi cursed as he spilled a few drops of milk outside the cereal bowl. _Damn, something must really be wrong with me. Was all those years of working as a waiter worthless in the end?_ He grumbled unhappily as he ripped off a bit of paper from the paper roll and scrubbed the milk on the table in a rather furious manner. 

"Wow, Hyung, you seem pretty off today. Something on your mind?" Jimin asked, who didn't even need to look at him to know that he was irritated. Yoongi sighed gruffly and leaned back into his chair, just about to open his mouth but in the end not choosing to answer. He continued pouring the milk into his bowl as Jimin sat down on the seat opposite of his with a plate that had two bread slices. Yoongi didn't look up.

"You know what Hyung? Why don't we go somewhere today? To cool you down after yesterday." Jimin suggested.

Yoongi looked up at him suspiciously, narrowing his eyes. Jimin had an inviting smile on his rosy lips with eyes full of warmth. But Yoongi wasn't having it. He knew that Jimin was kind, but just like he knew that he knew of Jimin's past as a model alongside Seokjin, _and_ not to mention that he was also keen on getting him to make up with _that person_. If he agreed to go somewhere Jimin would surely take him to _his_ place. And besides, Yoongi wasn't even sure if Jimin had gotten his driver's license yet. This invitation of his had too many plot holes to not be a scheme to get him to the same place as _him_.

"Then, if I agreed, where would we go?" Yoongi inquired, and Jimin just smiled wider.

"I was thinking the Southern forest, if that's fine with you?" Jimin answered with ease. Too much ease for comfort. _Hmm. Then let's play around with this statement_. Yoongi thought up a plan.

"Say then, if I don't want to go there, then we can go another place?" Yoongi asked, and Jimin's happy facial expression instantly fell to a more unsure sort. Bud nonetheless, he nodded. "Then, how about the Northern lake? I really want to go there."

Jimin seemed like he was contemplating it, and just as Yoongi expected him to blow his cover, he shrugged his shoulders and said, "Sure, why not?"

Yoongi clicked his tongue. "Well, how are you going to get us there then?"

"I have money and I know how to fish up a taxi for us." Jimin answered again. When Yoongi didn't answer Jimin smiled again. "So I guess it's the Northern lake then?"

"W-wait, will it be secluded? I want to go somewhere secluded." Yoongi quickly added. Jimin shrugged.

"That's why I said Southern forest. I mean, it's not a lake and I used to be there a lot when I was little, so I do think it will be secluded. But for the Northern lake, I can't really say. I mean, it _is_ a lake, and it is pretty warm today, so..." Jimin trailed off, looking at Yoongi with a triumphant smile. 

 _Shit... I have to come up with something fast._ "Uh, but well, anyways, I don't really wanna go anywhere today. And, besides, I have work!"

"Hyung, did you _really_ think that I was going to let you go to work in the state you are now? I called in sick for you."

Yoongi sputtered. "W-what? You can't just do that! What are you, my wife or something?"

Jimin suddenly blushed at his comment and waved his hand. "I-I mean... if you uh, don't really want to then... maybe I can just go by myself?" He switched back the topic to the trip.

"What? You're going there by yourself? But would that really be fun?" 

"I mean, I want to relax too. I'd gladly go there at any oppurtunity I get. And who knows, I might get some new inspiration for my story. I've been kinda stuck lately anyways." Jimin shrugged once again, and Yoongi struggled with his conviction of Jimin taking him somewhere that _he_ was going to be. _I mean, what if Jimin really did just want to take me somewhere to relax? It would be rude of me to decline. And Southern forest is pretty far away from here... But... would he really leave me alone at his home, even though he thinks I'm in a bad state? Wait, of course not! If I don't come with, he'll obvioudly be expecting me to go to my own home!_ Yoongi bit his lip.  _But I... don't want to leave. Godammit, why am I being so damn clingy?_

He looked back at Jimin. Jimin didn't seem fazed by his rejection to go to the Southern forest, and was instead calmly eating his bread. _Shit... shit! Why am I struggling so much with this decision!?_

"Ugh... F-fine." Yoongi mumbled under his breath. Jimin lifted his head up.

"Did you say something?"

"Fine. I'll go to Southern forest with you." He repeated, averting his eyes from Jimin's face. Jimin shone up, and he clapped his hands together. Yoongi instantly felt a little bit better.

"Great! Then, we leave at about four to five, yes? I'll take care of everything, I promise!" Jimin suggested, and Yoongi could merely nod as he averted his eyes. Why was Jimin so pure? Yoongi could swear he was glowing when he was being all cheerful and happy like that. Or was it just his eyes decieving him? Well... probably. Maybe. 

Yoongi shook his thoughts away from his head as he looked back to Jimin. He was happily eating his cereal, seemingly very content.

 _Maybe... going to the Southern forest wasn't that bad an idea_.

 

*

 

_A few hours later..._

 

**Seokjin's POV**

 

"Ugh, Seokjin-Hyuuung! Why do I have to tag along for this? I have important work to do, you know?" Taehyung whined from the backseat. "And you could've at least lent me the passengers' seat, the backseat sucks. Jungkook isn't old enough for the passangers' seat anyways."

"Shut your bitch ass up, Taehyung. You know as well as I do that your interpretation of 'important' work is just you jerkin' off to lots of hardcore yaoi. You ain't gonna do shit." Jungkook spat back and Taehyung started hissing at him for the eleventh time today.

"Oi, where's your manners!? As a matter of fact, I'm older than you, and you should absolutely refer to me as such!" Taehyung chided, and Jungkook rolled his eyes.

"Haha, I see you've finally found someone, Taehyung! Congratulations!" Hoseok chirped happily, though Seokjin could hear the nervousness in his voice, and Taehyung gave him a pointed look.

"Wait up, found someone _how_...?"

Jungkook sighed exasperatedly and rolled his eyes once again. "Just for your information, me and Taehyung aren't in that kind of relationship. I don't even really fancy guys that much."

"Excuse him, he's currently in a sexual crisis of whether to identify as mostly gay or just bisexual, but because he thinks being mostly gay is kind of shameful for whatever reason, he chooses to always say that he's bisexual leaning towards the heterosexual end." Namjoon explained eloquently and Hoseok laughed, although a bit dryly.

"Hey, shut up you Hyung! You're hetero _and_ you're old, you could never understand my pain!" Jungkook yelled at him while Namjoon just laughed. Taehyung laughed too, just to mock Jungkook. "Taehyung I really hate you."

"You know, you really don't have to try so hard to hide it. It's already pretty obvious that you're an item. Just relax, my dude." Hoseok said as he waved with his hand for emphasis, and Jungkook let out a drawn out groan. 

"Ugh, for the _last time_ , we really aren't something like 'an item' or anything close to it!"

"Everyone shut up right now, I'm trying to drive!" Seokjin yelled and everyone quieted down. He smiled at the control he had when everyone was sitting in his car. Seokjin was not only the only one he himself had permitted to drive his car, he also had lots of secret weapons to use if the kids were ever misbehaving. Like music for example, the kind that the never generation couldn't stand. And he was also pretty prideful that everyone liked to ask him for help when in need of driving, since his car had a lot of space. It was basically a car with one additional backseat, which was pretty neat.

Though, what he didn't like was the very short duration his command was still in effect. Just a few seconds after he'd told everyone to shut up there was already lively chatter going on. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but by 'lively' chatter he means lively as in very wild. And as in very wild he means screaming, yelling, curse words and occasional slaps being dealt and pocket items being thrown. Luckily though, they were pretty close to Southern forest. Unluckily, that didn't change the current level of retardedness in his car.

"Hey, hey, Namjoon, I don't have anything else to throw with, gimme something! You have like, a cigarette package with you or somethin', right?" Taehyung asked in a raised voice, but Jungkook quickly pointed out his opinion about the action.

"Wait no, that's fucking hax! If you don't have anything else to throw with then you lose by default!"

"Buzz off you twink, don't get involved in my business!" Taehyung shouted at him. "And now that I think about it, I _do_ have something to throw!" 

He shoved his hand into his back pocket and pulled up a Nokia, holding it high behind his head, ready to throw. 

"What the fuck, are you fucking crazy!?" Jungkook exclaimed, trying to get up from his seat as a reflex, but was being held back by the seatbelt. "And who the fuck owns a  _Nokia_ these days!?"

"Shut up, it's not my real phone! I just brought it with because I don't want to break my other phone!"

"Are you fucking stupid!? It's not like we're going to the mountains on a hiking trip or anything! If you drop it it'll land on the grass!"

"But my other phone's new!"

"And!? That has probably never stopped you before! Besides, don't you like to take pictures!?"

"I'll borrow Nam's phone for that! He has a good camera!"

"When did I agree to lend you my phone!?" Namjoon asked in confusion, and Taehyung just groaned.

"Just play along with it, alright?!"

Seokjin sighed and swiftly put on 'What is love', and screaming of anguish instantly erupted from his passengers. Seokjin laughed evilly as Taehyung pleaded for him to turn the music off and Hoseok and Namjoon's simultaneous groans.

"Oh fuck no, Hyung!!" Jungkook screamed and Seokjin turned the music down a notch.

"Well then, will you stay quiet? Look we're almost there." Seokjin remarked, and everyone responed with obediently sitting down and practically zipping their mouths shut. Seokjin smiled in victory as he tuned down the music and heard relieved sighs. After that, there was not much talking until they parked in a spot near Southern forest. Out of the corner of his eye, Seokjin spotted a white stone in the grass which he recognized instantly. Once when everyone had been on vacation to Greece Jimin had brought with him plentiful of white stones from the beaches there. The reason he remembered them was because Jimin simply wouldn't shut up about his beautiful stones that he were so proud of. He looked around, and sure enough, there were more white stones further away.

 _You smarty. You definitely knew that I was going to instantly recognize them the moment I saw them_. Seokjin thought. Honestly, though, it was kind of a surprise that Jimin had used those stones specifically. It takes a lot for Jimin to let go of things. _Guess he's really willing to do anything for Yoongi._  

Seokjin sighed and beckoned the group over to follow him. _Well, if he's willing to sacrifice the stones for us then I might as well bring them back for him_. Seokjin thought as he started following the white stone-trail all while picking the stones up to put in his bag. The people behind him wouldn't shut up but that was the lesser focus, and the voices behind him disappeared almost instantly as the white stone trail ended and before them were now a sitting Yoongi and a sitting Jimin. Honestly, their station was pretty nice. A blanket to sit on and some picnic. What wasn't nice was the look on Yoongi's face when he saw them, and the atmosphere that immediately changed. A feeling of guilt curled up in his gut, but he pushed it down. He sighed as he shook his head and he refreshed himself a bit. 

_Oh geez, I wonder how Hoseok's going to handle this one. I mean he was pretty nervous in the car ride. Ugh, and besides, Jimin you stupid little short person. You could've just invited us to your home, then Yoongi would be trapped. But here he can just run away. Ahh, this is going to be a tough one._

Seokjin absentmindedly thought as he put on his thousand dollar smile to hide his inner nervousness and cheerfully said, "Ah, what a coincidence to find you here! We were just looking around for a good spot and here we found you two! Guess we really chose the right place, huh guys?"

"Seokjin, you know as well as I do that this isn't a damn coincidence..." Yoongi was looking down as his tense body was shaking. His fists were clenched like his jaw, and his eyes were cast towards the ground. "Godammit, I just wanted to go one fucking day without any disturbances and this is what I get? I knew it sounded shady when Jimin had suggested it."

Yoongi rose up, looking ready to run for it. Luckily, Jimin managed to grab his leg before any running actually happened. 

"Hyung come on!"

"Jimin let me go! I never should of trusted you. I can't trust any of you!"

"Yoongi-Hyung, listen, we just want what's best for you--" Namjoon tried to reason but quickly got cut off by Yoongi's hand in the air.

"Then just leave me alone... I don't want this. And neither did I ask for it." Yoongi mumbled. Today seemed different from yesterday, Seokjin noted with guilt chewing at him. Very different. Yoongi was standing there, body slouched and lifeless, eyes cast down to the ground in a quiet plea to get out of his sight. All of his fire from yesterday, although quite supressed at the time, had almost evaporated entirely. He looked tired and... how should he put this... Weak maybe? Even pathetic.

"Yoongi-Hyung," Hoseok spoke out and Yoongi visibly flinched. Hoseok drew closer with determination in his movements, even though the look in his eyes said otherwise, and soon he was right in front of Yoongi.

"G-get away! Leave me alone!" Yoongi frighted and started frantically try to push Hoseok away as he backed, but Jimin's grip on his leg caused him to trip and fall. He flailed around desperately and tried to wrench out of Jimin's grip, but to no avail. The others were getting progressively more uneasy just standing there, and Seokjin sighed. He glanced at the scene before him. Jimin was struggling with pinning a writhing Yoongi down, and Hoseok was yelling at him to calm down. It tugged at his heart a little bit.

He put down the stones beside the picnic blanket and called out for Jimin. "Get them to calm down and leave them alone. We'll be inside the hotel." 

Jimin didn't answer, he wasn't even looking at him. But he nodded slightly, and Seokjin took that as a green light.

"Let's go." He walked away from the scene, and towards the Hotel with the others unsurely following. Namjoon skipped up next to him with a worried look on his face.

"Hyung, are you really sure this'll be fine?" He asked with a doubtful voice. "I mean... are you really sure Yoongi-Hyung will be..." 

"It's fine, it's fine~." Seokjin assured him as he looked around for a building with the label hotel on it. Namjoon sighed. 

"I looked up where the hotel is before we came here. It's just around the corner over there to the left."

"Why thank you." Seokjin said with grace in his voice, but the unseasiness Namjoon was experiencing seemed to be contagious. Seokjin glanced a little at the others. Everyone was fidgeting and looking around, distraught. Seokjin sighed for the umpteenth time today.

"Everyone, don't worry. All we can do now is trust that Yoongi will comply."

Namjoon gave him a pointed look as Seokjin mumbled for himself.

"Yeah... all I can do now is just hope..."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again, and I'm sorry. I know this chapter was a lot of dialouge, and I'm kind of afraid the coming chapters might also be, but I hope I can justify it somehow.  
> Anyway, we hope you enjoyed reading and will continue to!


	3. Twists

_Current day_

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

"Yoongi-hyung, please, just stop struggling! We don't want to hurt you!" Yoongi could hear Jimin and Hoseok shout out words upon words to try to calm him down, but the words flew by him. He wasn't concentrating. His vision was getting blurry with small tears that he didn't want to show them and he was getting weaker the more he tried to writhe out of Jimin and Hoseok's grip.

Jimin's right arm flew for Yoongi's wrist and he moved to put his body weight to restrain him. Yoongi snatched his wrist away only to have to move it to avoid Hoseok's hands. He rolled to the side, pushing away Jimin in the process and quickly getting up with the last ounces of his strength. He began to run. His lungs were burning and he could taste blood in his mouth as he tripped and were tiredly moving his feet at an attemp to just get further away from Hoseok and Jimin. He heard Jimin shout after him and footsteps getting too close for comfort. His breathing were getting faster and faster by the second and Yoongi was getting too stressed for this.

Suddenly, a pair of large hands that were way too familiar grabbed his shoulders from behind, and Yoongi screamed out. _Damn it. It's over now, it's really over_. Yoongi screwed his eyes shut as he let himself fall, and a sinking feeling coursed through him in waves. He wanted to just dissapear into a hole or something and never come back.

His face was pushed into the grass and he could taste dirt and plants that he wanted to spit out. His hands were uncomfortably dragged up onto his back and a crushing weight settled over his legs so that they were rendered unmovable. He choked on only air and he started coughing lightly. Yoongi felt helpless. Forced. Everything he had done his best these past two years to just ignore and run away from. Was all of that effort he had put in worthless in the end? Yoongi didn't want to think about it.

His head was facing Jimin, and he didn't want to open his eyes to look at him. He tried struggling more, but he was completely pinned down.

"...Let me go." He rasped out in a weak voice. Hoseok sighed.

"No, Yoongi. Listen to me now--"

"I don't want to."

"Yoongi--"

"I said I'm not going to listen." Yoongi spat sourly and turned his head away, further into the ground. It may have been a bit of a stupid decision, seeing as he was pushing his face further into the mud and grass. Though it wasn't really what he was thinking about right now. He could hear a long, drawn out sigh, from Hoseok, and after a few moments, Jimin spoke.

" _Yoongi_ ," His voice was strained and said through clenched teeth, and Yoongi froze up at his low, hostile tone, no less the missing usual 'Hyung'. " _Please_. Just come with us and get this over with."

Yoongi didn't dare to look up again. He was too scared. He knew that a they would probably get a little irritated but not _mad_. And definitely not Jimin. In a shaky voice muffled by the dirt, Yoongi choked out, "...Get off."

Hoseok clicked his tongue and clenched his jaw. " _Yoongi please_ \--"

"I'll come with you, so just get off of me!" Yoongi cried out, pressing his face more into the ground in shame. With Hoseok on top of him and Jimin watching them, Yoongi felt something in him drop. He'd lost. He'd actually lost against them. Something he'd nearly sworn to himself that he wouldn't do. He wouldn't lose. He couldn't lose. Tears sprung to his eyes as panic enveloped his mind and his adrenaline kicked in as he stood up on shaky legs. Jimin stepped over to give him a shoulder, taking his hand in his to prevent him from escaping. Yoongi sneaked a glance at his face.

His expression was dark and agitated, lips curled down in a tight frown and eyebrows knitted together above his eyes. Yoongi quickly looked away. _Shit. He was really mad_. Floods and waves of fear washed over him as he staggered on with wobbly and weak legs and the support of the angry Jimin.

Hoseok seemed like a mix of emotions. Nervousness, relief, irritation, uncertainty and many others. His jaw was tightly clenched, his mouth switching between a sour frown and a straight line and his eyes were scrunching up one moment, and relaxing the next. In other terms of situations, Yoongi probably would've laughed. But now, all be could do was to keep his lips pressed tight, and continue to look down on the ground as they walked. There was no laughter, and no feelings of amusement. Everything felt so... empty. 

After a few minutes, they were already in a room inside of the Southern hotel. It was neat and clean, and the bed looked comfortable. It all seemed fairly expensive. But Yoongi couldn't appreciate all of this as he avoided touching too much stuff since he was extremely dirty. Jimin packed up a bag he had brought with him from the picnic site and gave him some of Jimin's larger clothes.

"You can go shower, Hyung. There's towels and soap ready in the bathroom, so you can use that. It's over there." Jimin said, pointing towards a door. Yoongi clicked his tongue and looked down in shame. _Damn. He really played me like a fiddle, huh? He even had clothes ready for this_. He stood in silence for a few moments, but started moving slowly towards the bathroom door. 

"Please don't go into the bathroom while I'm there." He mumbled under his breath, and went into the bathroom.

 

*

 

_After Yoongi left..._

 

**Hoseok's POV**

Immediately after Yoongi left, Jimin's already slightly dark expression turned even darker, and it was precisely directed to him. _Shit, I knew this was going to happen_. Hoseok swallowed quickly and sighed, feeling a bead of sweat rolling down the side of his face. He felt even more nervous now.

Jimin crossed his arms and looked at him with a cold stare. "You." He simply said.

Hoseok took a catious step backwards and sat down on the soft bed. "What did I do wrong now?"

"You know well why I'm mad right now, don't you?" Jimin took an intimidating step towards him, glaring down at Hoseok. "You still dare to have the nerve to hold Yoongi-Hyung down in such a position with your grimy hands. And in front of me." He sneered at him with an unsatisfied expression. "Shouldn't you know better than to try to get all over and close with him right now? Don't you know that he hasn't gotten over you? What if he falls hard again? If he does, I'll never forgive you, Hoseok. Be careful from now on. Otherwise, I'll punish you."

His words were cruel, cold, curt and clear. Hoseok met him with a trembling gaze. "Jimin, I held him down because he needed to be restrained. Didn't you see he was running away? I'll... I'll solve this. He needs to let go, and somehow, me and Seokjin-Hyung will make him do that. Just let me do my thing. I don't have any intention of taking him back, and I'm not stupid enough to do that knowing which kinds of feelings you have for him. Then again, if you actually get together, it might be dangerous for Yoongi, so..."

Jimin narrowed his eyes at him, seemingly pinning him down to complete speechlessness. After having a staredown for a few moments, Jimin swiftly turned away and walked over to the nearest window. The noon sunligt shone through the window, and Jimin put his hands on the board and took a deep sigh. He continued to look out of the window as he remarked, "But you know Hoseok, if you choose to take away Yoongi-Hyung from me, I'll really kill you."

Hoseok laughed bitterly, a laugh that went around in nervous, trembling waves. 

"I know."

 

* 

 

_A while later..._

 

**Seokjin's POV**

 

'seokjin-hyung, could you please go and fetch the picnic stuff? i think i left some sleeping pills in the basket'

Seokjin immediately sighed as he saw the message. What the hell? Seokjin was much older than Jimin, yet he treated him like a dog! Seokjin was definitely not going to go and obediently fetch everything that Jimin ordered him to. Especially not things that he was going to use for evil. Honestly, Seokjin didn't really know himself why he was still supporting Jimin. Sometimes, he just thinks to himself that maybe he should just kill him and get everything over with. But, of course, he wouldn't actually do that. Seokjin grumbled as he turned another corner. Whatever. He was already outside right now, having just bought some food, so why not just go and get them anyway.

He rounded a few more blocks until he arrived to the parking spot near the forest. He walked the now non-existent trail and arrived at the location of tarnish. He bent down and folded everything neatly and put the stuff orderly into the basket. Luckily, no food had been left out in the open. Before he continued, he stuck his hand down the basket and dug around, until he fished up a small, white bottle with the label 'Anesthesia'. _Holy crum, Jimin uses stuff like Anesthesia? Where does he even get this stuff? These are most definitely dangerous in the hands of Jimin_. Seokjin didn't really want to think about it as he stuffed the pills into his pocket. These were definitely going down the toilet.

He returned to the Southern hotel in a few minutes and settled down with the stuff. Namjoon helped him pack up the food he'd bought on a coffee table while Taehyung and Jungkook were fighting in the background. When they were done, Seokjin went straight towards the bathroom, threw the pills into the toilet and flushed them down. He sent a quick message to Jimin that he was welcome to go and get his things, and went out to sit and watch something with the others on the bed.

"Anything new while I was gone?" He turned to Namjoon, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Nothing much. I tried to check up with Hoseok, and he said it was fine for the time being. Though, his tone spoke a different language, I guess his answer means that nothing dire has happened yet." He explained. "Taehyung and Jungkook have been fighting over nothing much. I'm also kind of scared of what'll happen at night. I mean, there's only two beds in this room and a pretty thin sofa, so yeah..."

"Ah, yeah, both of them have pretty high tastes in where they sleep. I mean, I'm fine with sharing a bed with someone else, but I definitely don't want to be there at a scene of any kind of body moving that involves two people, and I don't want to have to bleach out my eyes either." Seokjin made a disgusted face at the thought. "Though, I guess maybe I could share with one of them and you sleep in the sofa?"

"I will _not_ fit in that sofa. Can't we just ask Jimin-ah for another room? Besides, where will Hoseok sleep? Jimin-ah will definitely not let him sleep with him and Yoongi-Hyung, and about eighty percent of me believes he rented a one-bed room anyway."

Seokjin shrugged his shoulders. "Sure." 

He checked his watch, seeing that the time was almost eight. "Does anyone want to have food?" He asked, and in less than a second Taehyung and Jungkook were right up his face, yelling and screaming about food. Seokjin chuckled, walking down a few floors towards the Hotel's kitchen with the two following him obediently like two dogs. Though, they bored easily as they were watching him starting to make food, and went back to fighting. The local kitchen in the Hotel was definitely one of it's strongest points. Of course, the Southern hotel was already a very luxurious hotel, having a kitchen you could access during your stay was even nicer, to the point that the Hotel was almost outdoing itself. No less, it already had a few ingredients ready there, like spices and stuff like breadcrums, cooking oil and rice. 

Seokjin hummed happily to himself as he got the things ready. He didn't bring that much money with him, so he had to just go for some easy-to-cook fish. He used the breadcrums to fry them with, and cooked some of the availiable rice for a side dish. As he cooked, his mood lifted more and more, and soon, it seemed as if this was just a really good day.

He closed his eyes, humming a bit more to himself, and let himself clear his mind.

 _Yeah. This wasn't so bad_. He thought to himself as he listened to the lively chatter behind him.

_This wasn't bad at all._

 

*

 

_Meanwhile..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

_...Drip._

**If you're cornered, lash back with double the fury of your offenders, _triple_ , if needed.**

_Drip._

**Don't make it easy for them.**

_Drip._

**Make them _suffer_ for hurting you.**

_Drip._

**Make them understand that if they are going to catch you, it'll cost them dearly.**

_Drip._

**Do everything that you need to.**

_Drip._

**Do _more_ than you need to.**

**...**

**_You know what to do_.**

Familiar voices from long ago circled around his head, pricking and stinging him as if they were sharp needles. Water trickled down the shower head and dripped down, the handle in a vice grip by his stiff hands. It was almost as if Yoongi was paralyzed, his body cold and rigid, though his mind was running at max speeds and his lungs were pushing out breaths in heavy pants. He could practically feel his heart pumping faster and faster as the mist of thoughts flowed around his head. Mixes of anger, nevousness, fear and other uncomfortable emotions of unsettlement were playing with his consciousness.

He felt dizzy.

He leaned against the tile walls of the shower, his head hanging down. He clicked his tongue in agitation, his lips drawing down into a frown full of contempt. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit! Goddammit. This is bad. This is really, really bad. What do I do? What do I do? I don't know, dammit, I can't figure out how to get out of this damn situation! How could I fall for something so simple as this? How could I let Jimin of all people fucking trick me!? Now I'm stuck in this damn fucking building with Hoseok, just waiting to rip open all of my past scars. Damn... damn!_

His fist flew for the wall, colliding with it and making a wet thud. 

 _ **You know what to do**_.

The voice re-echoed in his head, full of the familiar viciousness from the past. Yoongi breathed out. _That's right, he knew what to do_. He calmed down, clearing his head. _Yeah. This was alright. Everything was fine_. A strange and deranged smile stretched out on his face that was teetering between a weird kind of happiness and a smug, sly sneer. He lifted his arm, putting the shower head back, a couple of crystal water drops cascading onto the sleek floor. 

"Everything was fine."

 

 

*

 

_A few minutes later_

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

The cold air outside of the bathroom hit Yoongi's face. He scrunched up his brows, his body shivering from the chilly air. In an instant, Jimin was all over him, a worried expression plastered onto his face. A large contrast to what Yoongi had seen before. He was instantly on guard for the other.

"A-are you cold, Hyung?" His hands reached for him, and almost as if it was a reflex, Yoongi's hand darted out to slap away Jimin's. Jimin recoiled in shock, holding his hand close to him. In his mind, Yoongi smiled. _That's right, be shocked_. He quelled the rising guilt, turning his agitation into a cold glare at the others in the room. Both of them seemed uneasy.

"Well?" Yoongi tilted his head and turned the corners of his lips down, into the form of a contempting frown. "If there's not anything else to do here, I'll just go."

He started making his way out, glancing behind him. Hoseok was seemingly too stunned to do anything, and as Jimin was almost equally as shocked, Yoongi counted this as an easy victory for himself. But, seeing as Hoseok wasn't taking any action to stop him, Jimin finally came to and called out for Yoongi.

"Wait, Hyung!" He took a sprint towards Yoongi, blocking the door. Yoongi frowned at him. Yet, Jimin maintained his face and looked at him with determined eyes, before his irises started looking past him, turning colder. "Please, I beg of you. Just talk with Hoseok for a bit."

As if it was a trigger word, Hoseok suddenly stood up and agreed. "Yes. Please. I don't want to hurt you. Just... to have a talk."

Yoongi clicked his tongue. His nervousness was building up again, his hands starting to twitch on their own. _Ugh. Calm down, calm down_. Yoongi breathed out and put on his best smile as he said, "I'm sorry. I don't really think we have anything to talk about."

Hoseok's expression instantly changed and he took large strides towards him, making Yoongi back away, only to bump into Jimin. _Fuck_.

Hoseok grabbed his shoulders, and he felt the body behind him stiffen up. With Hoseok looming over him, all kind of alarms were setting off inside of Yoongi's head. _Run away. Plead. Attack. Manipulate_. Lot's of different thoughts were picking at his conscience, as his hands started twitching again. _Shit shit shit!_  Yoongi looked for ways to escape, a weak point, but he didn't get far until Hoseok spoke again.

"Yoongi. Let's talk. I have... a few things to say to you. Come on."

Yoongi tried to step back, but was blocked once again by Jimin. He screwed his eyes shut, biting his lip. Uneasiness bloomed out in his gut. 

_**You know what to do.** _

Yoongi drew in a sharp breath. _Yeah_. He slowly opened his eyes once again, a dark shade falling over them. _I know what to do_. His lips twitched up into a smile, his expression cold and dark. Hoseok visibly staggered back. With a smiling face and eyes that were glaring daggers, Yoongi said;

"Sure. Let's talk."

 

 


	4. Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flashback chapter incoming!

_Sometime in the past..._

 

**No one's POV**

 

Yoongi was seemingly a normal boy. He had average grades, a regular group of friends, and a couple of talents. He played the piano and took basketball lessons two times every week. Everything seemed fine and dandy with him, until you looked closer, onto the more... _personal_ stuff.

First off, his family life was usually a complete mess. What most people didn't know about Yoongi, was that Yoongi was an orphan. He didn't know his parents, and his parents didn't know him. It was as simple as that. That was why, in the past, he had often jumped from family to family as the orphanages were often full. In a way, Yoongi was thankful, because being caged up in an orphanage was the least of things he wanted to happen to him. What he wasn't very happy about though, was the family that decided to take him in for good.

The only reason they took him in was because the pair couldn't get kids on their own, and ever since they got him, he had apparently only caused them trouble. They started fighting over him, what school he should go to, what kind of clothes he should wear, how much allowance he should get, small things developing into large fights, and eventually, his father got tired of it. He broke up with his mother, and left Yoongi with her. She became angrier and angrier at him, and started blaming him for not just their breakup, but for almost all of her problems. Her manipulative and narcisstic nature fed Yoongi with experiences and knowledge that made him more... distant, in a way. And even though he became smarter and wiser by the experiences, it didn't mean he was immune to the pain that came with it. It was only natural that a frail person with a weak mindset to begin with wouldn't last very long.

Yoongi started purposely staying longer with his friends and doing overwork at school, joining clubs for after-school activities and scouting for jobs to take up his time, just so he didn't have to return home, to the place of his mother's wrath. But that only made his mother's bouts of anger more fierce every time he came home. It was draining, tedious and painful.

It was not really much more to it. Yoongi continued living the life he had gotten, getting shouted at by his mother nearly every day became a natural routine for him. Almost like a chore. This 'chore' over the years had made him not only a little bit more distant, but _very_ distant, gloomy, pessimistic and self-loathing. 

Days that passed by of his life turned into weeks, which turned into years and before he knew it, he was already in University. 

 

~

 

**Yoongi's POV**

Yoongi dragged his feet as he approached the tall gates of the university for the first day. Not only was he not in his best mood, he hadn't gotten close to any sleep this night. He heaved a sigh as he pulled himself through the gates and onto the campus with the last pieces of his strength. In the front of the entrance to the school stood a sea of students, all in demin-colored uniforms and white blouses. Yoongi's mood instantly sunk lower. _Ugh. There were way too many people here. Were there really these many people who can afford to go to University?_ He himself was working nearly everyday, having multiple part time jobs to earn enough to keep him in the University. He was almost sure that most people wouldn't waste so much of their valuable free time to do as much work as he does, if they did have parents that were able to pay for their tuition. But if most of them had parents that paid for their tuition, there sure were a lot of people with money here.

He stood a few feet away from the crowd to avoid getting squeezed between everyone. After a few minutes, the principal came out of the school entrance, and started speaking. Yoongi rolled his eyes. He didn't need to listen to the unnecessary shit the principal was spouting right now. A few moments into the speech of the principal, another student approached him.

He was very tall and his skin was a slight dark hue. His hair was a deep brown, almost black, and his eyes were the same color and full of warmth. He smiled a smile that almost stretched back to his ears, with promintent dimples at the corners. _Shit_. Yoongi's mood dropped even lower, if it could even go any lower at all. Right now, he definitely did not want to socialise with anybody. He was not attending a damn University to make friends. Yet, he kept his lips tightly shut as the guy came up to him. Maybe he'd be able to scare him off by acting cold.

"Hey there." The guy greeted happily with his right hand extended for a handshake. Yoongi glanced down at it once before looking up at the guy again, not making any moves to shake his hand. The guy, having held his hand up for about ten seconds finally dropped his arm, his whole posture drooping along with it. He groaned loudly.

"Why must this always happen? C'mon man! Why would you leave me hanging like that? It just gets awkward for us both." The guy lamented. But almost as if he was refusing to step back, he continued his interaction. "So, how are you doing my dude? Nervous?"

"I'm not really in the mood to talk right now, if you didn't notice." Yoongi said in a low voice. But instead of accepting defeat and just backing off, the guy preservered for some reason. Why the hell was he trying so hard with him, when it was clearly not worth it? Where the fuck was he summoning the willpower to continue? This guy must have loads. 

"Well, that's fine. It's Namjoon, by the way." He reached out with his hand for Yoongi's head. Yoongi froze up, fear momentarily enveloping him, his eyes getting transfixed on the hand that became bigger and bigger, scary shadows casting over the long fingers and broad palm - before he swiftly came to his senses again and diligently dodged the hand. His lips curled down in a frown and he shot the 'Namjoon' guy a harsh glare. Namjoon shrugged it off, chatting with himself for a little longer and turned around to leave.

Yoongi heaved a sigh of relief. _Finally_. 

 

A while later, after the introduction and the first look around at the school, they got a small twenty minute break to settle in before the first lesson would start. Yoongi went outside and sat down on a bench, fishing up his phone. As he checked if there were any recent releases from his favourite musician, he suddenly stopped in his tracks as a large shadow appeared over him. He sighed. A shadow that tall could only belong to once person. He looked up with an expression of dismay at Namjoon, who shot him an apologetic smile that wasn't actually apologetic at all.

"Hey, buddy." He greeted and sat down next to him. Yoongi immediately scooted away.

"Don't call me buddy." Yoongi made an 'ugh' sound. Ignoring him completely, Namjoon craned his head to take a look at Yoongi's phone screen. Yoongi noticed and hastily withdrew his phone from the prying eyes of the other, panic flooding his systems. But it was already too late. Namjoon had seen everything, who he looked up to. Yoongi mentally prepared himself for ridicule.

"Oh? You're a J-ful?" He asked with a gleam in his eyes that looked strangely knowing, and Yoongi froze as he heard Namjoon say the name of the fandom of his idol. "Haha, good choice. J-hope is a pretty good rapper, I must say."

Now Yoongi was completely and fully paralyzed. This guy was giving him positive feedback for his taste in music? _Actual_ positive feedback? Yoongi's thoughts were swimming in confusion. His taste in music had _always_ been ridiculed by others. He was definitely not used to this sort of praise at all.

A red, rosy blush climbed up his neck, radiating his cheeks a soft, pink flush. His eyes, now full of light averted from Namjoon, trying not to give in to the urge to throw himself over Namjoon to give him a gigantic bear hug. He started slightly trembling in an effort to restrain himself. He bit his lip as he muttered, his voice barely audible,

"You... you like him too?" 

"Yeah. I mean, with songs like Boy meets Evil and MAMA, how can you possibly not like him?" Namjoon stated as if it were facts, and for once, Yoongi could agree with him whole-heartedly. He turned his body towards Namjoon, looking at him with stars in his eyes, and an expression full of admiration and respect.

"Y-yeah. He is really good." He said in a full voice, happiness gushing over in waves. Yoongi didn't even know why he was so happy. He just was. Namjoon cracked a smile at him, and he just couldn't help but smile back earnestly. The other made a satisfied hum, giving him a look-over.

"Yeah, that's it, buddy. You look much better with a smile on your face." Namjoon beamed at him, smiling so wide his dimples were practically turning into mining sites. Yoongi immediately retreated back into his shell, his smile instantly disappearing. A displeased frown appeared on his face, the cold glint in his dark eyes reappearing yet again. Namjoon's shoulders slumped slightly, seeing that he killed the mood.

"Aw man. I thought I was getting somewhere."

"You can try. You won't get anywhere." Yoongi retorted, his eyes casting a sharp glare, but after a moment, they softened and he spoke in a smoother voice. "Though... maybe we can have a good conversation every now and then. About music."

Namjoon smiled once again at him. "Alright, deal. Well, now it's getting quite late, we'll probably need to get to class.

 

After a few lessons, lunchtime came around, and Yoongi and Namjoon spent the time getting to know each other. Or, well it was mostly Namjoon trying to get to know Yoongi, although his efforts were for the most part fruitless. Though, Yoongi learned a few things about Namjoon, such as he was one year younger than Yoongi, he liked rapping music and even had made a small name for himself, his rapper name being RM. At first, Yoongi had laughed, but when he saw Namjoon so honestly wail at him to stop and throwing weak but desperate excuses, he couldn't bear to laugh at him anymore. He had even rapped a few lines for him, for which Yoongi was thankful for. All in all, he was also pretty good. And Yoongi gotta appreciate a good rapper when he comes across one. For what Namjoon managed to learn about him, it was that he was a fan of J-hope, he liked music and rapping and that he had too much merch at home. Finding out the last one was actually a mistake. Yoongi had accidentaly blurted out that he had one of J-hope's merch products when the topic was hot on it.

The lunch experience was a good one for Yoongi, to say the least. He walked to the next lesson with a smile on his face and his spirits held high. Though, his happiness was relatively short lived, as the day, surprisingly, went away faster than he had expected, and his mind wandered over to thoughts of going home again. He sighed, deciding to just loiter around. After a while, his feet took him to a door, with the label 'Music room' on it. He cautiously knocked on it, to see if anyone was there. When no one answered, he tested the door handle.

It wasn't locked. 

He gladly opened the door for himself, wandering into the empty room. He gave it some thought, and decided to not lock the door after him. He glanced at the walls and the door for a trace of a shedule to see if any club activities were going on. He didn't find anything, so he simply ignored it. If someone came in, he would just explain himself. Not really any harm done.

He gave the room a look over. It was a rather spacious room, actually, with a small stage that was about two times two to three meters. The small stage's floor was about a step higher than the floor on which Yoongi was standing on, and decorating the stage were a drumset, a bass, a tuba and an electric guitar. Pretty cool stuff, very well rounded. Though, the choices were kind of odd. Why just a tuba? Yoongi didn't pay much attention as his eyes travelled to the other parts of the room. In one corner there was a desk with a computer, fully equipped with a headset, speakers and if Yoongi didn't know better, it probably had lots of different music programs installed. He felt a slight feeling of envy bubble up inside of him, but he quickly pushed it down.

Looking past the desk, on a wall there were many acoustic guitars hanging, along with things like trumpets and violins. There was a whiteboard on another wall, completely clean from dents or smudges from the pencils as it had not been touched yet, since it was only the first day of school. Lastly, his eyes fell onto a lone piano, in a corner. It was made of smooth, rich dark wood, the lock for the keys having been lifted up, the white keys shining in a pearly white color, and the black ones being a deep, empty black, not even the speck of dust on them. It was almost as if someone came and cleaned it everyday. It was elegant and pristine, looking more than inviting, making Yoongi almost burst with giddiness. He happily sauntered over to the seat in front of the piano and plopped himself down. He dragged his fingers along the rows of keys, a familiar feeling of freedom settling in, making his fingers twitch with energy.

He slid his hands over to the left of the piano, pressing down his fingers on a few of the keys, a deep, dark sound ringing out into the room. Hearing the sound, a sudden wave of static excitement washed over him. His hands began to fly across the keys, pressing and pushing down the keys, his feet tapping the pedals down below, and soon enough a melody started to form out of the tunes he played.

A happy and determined smile appeared on his face, the twitches of his long fingers to press the keys getting more dramatic, his emotions pouring out in floods onto the music. The music was generally dark and gloomy, but sometimes it lifted up into a striving, powerful string of tones that almost spoke words. Other times, it turned into soft, smooth and light playing that could barely be heard in comparison to what he played before, like a break, a pause of freedom. It was almost like a sigh, made into music by Yoongi's extremely nimble hands.

After he'd played for a few minutes, Yoongi pressed down the last keys, the music strumming out in a tone of finality. He sighed, leaning back and wiping his forehead with his sleeve. A bit of sweat came off. Yoongi looked at his sleeve in awe. _Wow. He actually sweat? When playing the piano? Has it really been that long a time since he exercised, that he could start sweating because of only playing the piano now?_

Yoongi heaved a sigh. Just as he was about to rise from his seat, another voice rang out into the room. Yoongi immediately turned into stone, breaking out into a cold sweat. 

" _Wow_. You... have some very pretty music skills there." 

Yoongi whirled around to see Namjoon with his jaw practically on the floor. His mouth was hanging open like an idiot's, his eyes wide and staring and his head lifted up in awe. Yoongi averted his eyes bashfully, a flush yet again appearing on his cheeks.

"I... I've been practicing for a few years now."

"Yeah... I can tell." Namjoon choked out. "Anyone would."

Yoongi turned his head further away. "I'm... really not that good."

In an eyeblink, Namjoon was already in front of him with a vice grip on his shoulders, shaking him so hard that his brain was going to fall out sooner or later if he continued. As Namjoon's eyes were staring holes in him he remarked in a loud voice, "Are you fucking kidding me!? Fuck, dude! You're good. Really, _really_ good!" 

Namjoon's smile stretched far and wide, and he looked at him with an intrigued glint in his eyes. Though, behind that shining glimmer there was uncertainty and hesitance, of which Yoongi did not miss. Namjoon made a pause, seemingly pondering over something before firmly making up his mind, even nodding for himself. He grabbed both of Yoongi's hands in his and lifting them up, to which Yoongi grimaced at, pulling them away. Namjoon seemingly did not pay attention to Yoongi's motion, staring at him once again with determined and starry eyes. 

"Yoongi. Let me take you somewhere." 

Yoongi immediately retreated, putting up his hands in defense. He looked to the side, blushing. "Uh, dude. Um, I don't... uh, really... I mean, we've only just met and I... um..." He stammered.

Realizing how Yoongi had interpreted his words, he quickly shook his head, a terrified expression spreading over his face.

"Woah, woah, woah! Not like that! Definitely not like that! I don't really swing that way." Namjoon hastily explained himself, before remembering his main point. "Oh yeah, uh, I just wanted to take you somewhere, like normal buddies. I think you'll enjoy it quite a lot... And not in that kind of way!"

Yoongi looked at Namjoon with uncertainty and a flushed face. "First off, I feel the need to clarify that we are not buddies. But... I mean, sure? I don't have anything better to do anyways."

And it was true. In fact, Yoongi considered himself slightly lucky that Namjoon had offered to bring him somewhere else. That way, he wouldn't have to return home earlier than needed. He nodded in satisfaction at his intelligence. In a few minutes, they were already out of the school building, Namjoon fetching themselves a taxi. Yoongi had immediately questioned who would pay for it, and Namjoon had just laughed at him, making it quite clear that it was going to be he himself that was paying. 

They didn't really speak much during the drive, but soon enough, they arrived at a shopping district. Namjoon stepped out of the car, paying for the ride and then bringing Yoongi to a long, broad alleyway, filled with graffiti in explosive colors and candy wrappers thrown here and there. There were even some leftover spray cans. Yoongi immediately became suspicious. He always walked two meters away from Namjoon, so that if he were to try to seize him, he'd be able to jump back. That was, if he didn't have any accomplishes approaching from behind, though.

A few meters into the alleyway, there was a door. Namjoon took out some keys, unlocking the door and opening it, gesturing for him to go in. Yoongi hesitantly stepped closer, peeking into the door. Behind the door was a staircase made of cement leading down, and dull rapping music could be heard from below. Yoongi frowned.

"A club?" He asked, and Namjoon snorted. Yoongi glared at him.

"No, no. Just a little hideout. Or, maybe you could even say home. Besides, do you really think I'd lead you to a club, especially this early in the afternoon?" Namjoon explained himself, shrugging his shoulders. "Anyways, lets go down. I'll go first, if that makes you feel safer. Just remember to lock the door after yourself."

"Having to lock the door after me doesn't make me feel much safer." Yoongi mumbled as they entered the inside. But even though he himself said that, Yoongi still obediently closed the door behind him and locked it. He didn't know why, but he just had the feeling that it was safe. He was led down by Namjoon, the music growing louder and louder. And very soon, Yoongi could make out the song. It was one of J-hope's songs; Daydream. But the singing was strange. It was as if it didn't really blend into the song. It sounded so raw and... _real_.

Yoongi completely froze in place as they almost reached the end of the stairs. He realized that the voice of J-hope was indeed raw. He could hear his pauses for breaths, and the present passion poured into the voice. Now, this could only turn out to be one of three things. Either, someone down there was playing a live video of J-hope singing and had a _very_ good speaker, someone down there with a voice almost identical to J-hope's were singing one of his songs, _or..._  

Yoongi's train of thought trailed off. _This could actually be the real thing_. Yoongi shook his head harshly, as if he was attempting to erase a memory by force. _No, no, no. Definitely not. J-hope... it absolutely couldn't be J-hope down there. All he was doing right now was some wishful thinking, which wouldn't do him any good_. He shook his head, following Namjoon all the way down.

He closed his eyes shut and took a deep breath as they reached the last step, and opened them again. He drew in a sharp breath.

Before him, was a rather large room. Although it was made of concrete, the interior of it made the room rather cozy. The walls were sprawled with notes and posters of different singers and rappers. There was a brown couch, Two matresses lined up next to each other with fluffy looking blankets and pillows on top of them. In one corner of the room there were three desks, two computers and three speakers that looked of high quality on top of the desks, with messy tangled cables behind everything. There was a keyboard in another corner that looked as if it hadn't been touched in ages, a layer of dust coating the surface. Next to it were microphones and yet some more speakers. 

But, that was not the important thing here. What was important, was the person currently in the room aside from them. The person was holding a mic in his hands, gripping it so hard their knuckles were going white. Sweat was dripping down their features, a passionate and strong voice echoing out from their open mouth, rapping line after line of 'Daydream', the lyrics flowing flawlessly from their mouth in tune with the music without any mistakes or slip-ups whatsoever, as if the text had been marked into his head. 

As Yoongi and Namjoon arrived, the person's singing came to a sudden halt, the last lyrics being more or less stuttered out. The person looked at them both in surprise, before shaking their head and regaining their senses. They smiled warmly at them both, nodding in greeting at Namjoon.

"Hey there!" They greeted enthusiastically, before turning to Namjoon. "You brought some new blood over, I see?"

Yoongi felt as if he could faint at any moment now.

Because the person standing in front of him, was none other than his light, his religion, his _universe_ ; Jung Hoseok. A.K.A, J-hope himself.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or have these last two chapters been pretty short? Yes, they have been shorter, and I apologize. I'll try to make a longer chapter next time! 
> 
> Honestly, I didn't expect this whole chapter to only be made up of Yoongi's flashback. Though, I guess it is pretty important to note how he met Hoseok for the first time, and how his feelings for him were before. At the end, I wasn't sure whether to switch back to the present time, but I decided not to, since it would only make the chapter too long, and if I wanted to make the chapter slightly shorter, I'd have to cut off a piece of the scene, which I would like to avoid. 
> 
> Also, just for some useless info, the reason of J-hope's fandom being called J-ful is because hope + ful is hopeful. I know, I know, veeery creative but I couldn't come up with something better. Please spare meeee ;-;


	5. Resist

_Current day_

 

**Hoseok's POV**

 

Hoseok was just on the brink of breaking into a cold sweat. He slowly digested the situation. Right now, Jimin was outside somewhere, probably even right by the door trying to listen in on their conversation. He himself was sitting on the edge of the couch, facing the bed, where Yoongi sat. He had a leg swung up over the other, arms crossed and a sour frown on his face. Anger and nervousness flashed in his eyes.

Hoseok took a deep breath, looking up at Yoongi. His voice trembled. "S-so, uh. S' been a while, huh?"

Yoongi responded with a glare that told him to hurry it up. Hoseok gulped. All kinds of emotions were picking at his defenses right now. Overwhelming nervousness, uncertainty and maybe a bit of sadness. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Well, where should I start?" Hoseok mumbled. "To begin with, I just want to say that I didn't mean to hurt you like this."

Yoongi laughed coldly, glaring at him with hateful eyes. "Hah, how funny. With the way you went about it it sure didn't seem like you weren't trying to hurt me."

"Yoongi, why would I want to hurt you?" Hoseok persisted. "There's no reason for me to want to do that. I mean, I just thought that maybe... we weren't really compatible. Please just understand this."

"Don't tell me to try to understand you when you don't even understand how _I_ felt when you said all of that stuff. All you're thinking about here is yourself, Hoseok." Yoongi hissed at him, his pupils narrowing. Hoseok averted his eyes, biting his lip and clenching his fists.

"...That wasn't my fault." Hoseok muttered, glancing back up. Yoongi was clearly taken aback, and Hoseok took his chance. "All I ever said was that I felt that we weren't working out. I didn't insult you, and of course, I don't understand how you felt then, but you don't understand how I felt either. We don't understand each other, and that's what's the problem here. I _want_ to understand you Yoongi, because I don't want this fight to go on anymore. Please. Let's just make up."

Yoongi stood up, a dangerous expression on his face. "Don't lie." 

"I'm not lying--"

"Stop." Yoongi commanded, his expression staying still for a moment, before twisting into one of sadness. But it didn't look real. "How can you say it's not your fault? You wouldn't have fucking done that to me if you didn't want to hurt me. And _please_ , don't try with that understanding shit! You just want to get me off your back! That's all you've ever wanted!"

" _Stop it Yoongi_!" Hoseok hissed out of his clenched teeth. "I never said that I wanted you off my back! I just want this to be over already so we both _finally_ can be in peace! This fighting of ours is _stupid_ and you know it!"

"Stop trying to fucking act like the good guy!"

"I'm not trying to act like a good guy! All I did was to end it! I didn't insult you, and I didn't try to hit you and I definitely didn't want things to turn out like _this_! I just felt that we weren't compatible, and I did what I thought was right! And in the end, you knew that we weren't working out either! I'm sorry Yoongi, but I can't with this anymore."

Yoongi clicked his tongue at him. " _You_ can't with this anymore? _You can't_? I'm also doing what I believe is right. I'm protecting myself from all of this shit. From _your_ shit. Is that so wrong of me?" Yoongi stood up, turning around to walk away, shooting a glare at him. "I hope you're proud of yourself, Hoseok."

As he began walking, Hoseok's hand flew for his. Yoongi flinched, his eyes widening. Hoseok turned him around, gripping his shoulders so hard his knuckles were turning white. Their faces were only mere inches apart, a dark shadow falling over Hoseok's facial features.

"Yoongi, listen to me. I don't know what happened with you, but again, all I ever did was to cut it off, which we both know was the best thing for me to do. The one who freaked out and suddenly made this such a big deal, which this didn't _have_ to be, was you, Yoongi."

Yoongi opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something, but Hoseok quickly shushed him.

"This didn't have to be this big a deal. When I decided to break up, instead of freaking out, we could've just talked it out, like damn fucking adults to just get it over with and move on. If we did that, we could've still been friends now. We could still be hanging out, having good conversations, creating music and rapping together, like we always did before all of this... all of this darkness, that we fell into."

Yoongi looked shocked. His lips trembled, his fingers twitching and clenching to later unclench. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates and his mouth was twitching nervously. Beads of sweat ran down the side of his face. He shook his head, regaining his composure. Any trace of his disheveled look from before was completely gone. He looked at Hoseok with a cold, indifferent glare.

"'Oh, it's not my fault, it's not my fault! It's you who made this such a big deal!'" Yoongi imitated Hoseok in a voice of mockery. He sneered hatefully, "You're just victimizing yourself!"

"Yoongi--"

"And don't even get me started on the way you try to avert your words from yourself! All you do is repeat yourself. 'It wasn't my fault, all I did was to cut it off'! Yes, yes, maybe it didn't mean much to you, breaking up with a person that loved you more than you could imagine, but having the person that you loved so much breaking up with you meant the world to me!"

This time Hoseok yelled out loudly, his teeth clenched. "But then why has it gone on for so damn long!?"

Yoongi was stunned silent. His mask was faltering once again.

"There was absolutely no reason for you to drag this out so long. And I'm not talking about myself because there's nothing to say! Yoongi, I can't. I can't do this anymore. Why can't we just end all of this pointless fighting? Lets just make up. We're hurting the others with this and we're hurting outselves." Hoseok breathed out a long, heavy sigh, reaching out his hand, praying to god that Yoongi would take it.

But instead of taking it, Yoongi averted his eyes, his head dropping with his face disappearing out of Hoseok's sight. His fingers were clenched into shaking fists and his shoulders were completely stiff. He was clearly nervous. His walls were breaking down, his appearance looking as real as Yoongi could be in this situation.

"Don't talk as if you understand everything." He muttered. Hoseok groaned in annoyance.

" _Yoongi!_ "

"Hoseok." Yoongi responded back, yet his voice was wobbly. Hoseok paused for a bit, waiting for the next reaction. Suddenly, a lone tear made it's way down Yoongi's face, dropping down to the floor. He slowly lifted his head, revealing two pairs of eyes full of even more tears and a shaky forced smile, that somehow still looked like a frown. "You know Hoseok, I hate you. I really, really hate you."

Yoongi pushed at Hoseok's chest, sending him back a few steps before walking over and grabbing him by the collar, looking him in the face with immense fury, sorrow and indignation that he'd built up over these two years in his eyes. Somewhere in there, there was some kind of emotion of wistfulness as well, something that longed. He seethed. "I hate you, I hate you, _I fucking hate you Jung Hoseok_!" 

He buried his head in Hoseok's chest, wiping his tears. He sniffled in a raspy voice. "I really loved you back then. Why couldn't you love me back? Why can't you love me, Hoseok? I looked up to you. I _needed_ you."

"And that's why I couldn't love you, Yoongi. Your love felt like something just simply cut out of your admiration. And I felt... just like something that you needed to feel good. I couldn't go on."

"But I'd change! If you told me, I'd change..."

Hoseok looked down on Yoongi's desperate expression, his heart aching. "...I'm sorry Yoongi. It's already over."

Yoongi's expression fell. Hoseok could see how his world fell along with it. The small hope he'd just gained, the longing, the will to hang on, everything was being destroyed. Heavy realizations were dawning on Yoongi as Hoseok's words over the years were finally reaching him. More tears gushed out of his glassy eyes, his stiff muscles slowly relaxing and slouching down. All of the heavy weights from his shoulders were slowly dissipating, the hold that Yoongi had been desperately been keeping losing power, finally letting go. 

Hoseok sighed as he hugged Yoongi, who after a while hugged him back with quivering arms. "Lets move on Yoongi. Lets set ourselves free from this... messed up situation."

Yoongi sobbed into his chest, his arms tightening. After a few minutes of quiet sniffles and tears, Yoongi finally looked up at him, and met him with tired, but relieved eyes. It was almost as if Yoongi had always wanted this too. He thrusted his head into his shirt once again.

"Okay." He muttered. "Lets make up."

A genuine smile graced Hoseok's lips, sudden tears of joy starting to stream down his cheeks as his arms wrapping tighter around Yoongi.

"Yes. Lets make up, once and for all."

 

*

 

_A few minutes later..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

A cold, refreshing feeling spread across his face as Yoongi splashed cold water on it. He sighed, thinking back to before. Hoseok, his words, and Yoongi himself. Now that he thought about it, what had he even been doing these two past years than being reluctant and salty about what had happened? Had he even made any progress at all? His fists clenched and he bit his lower lip. Was he really that kind of person? Ugh. His mind wrapped and tossed around with different thoughts on different sides, as a part of him still thought he wasn't wrong. Most of him had very mixed feelings anyways. Guilt, anger, sadness were all boiling up inside, Yoongi feeling both wronged and the shame of having been in the wrong. He groaned, looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. 

He was surprised at his appearance. He squinted his eyes, touching his right cheek. Now that he looked at himself real closely, he actually looked quite sickly. His skin was paler than usual and he had far too prominent bags underneath his eyes. Not to mention his hair was greasy and tangled, and his lips seemed dry and chapped. He watched his face take on a frown in the mirror

**Hey. What happened with showing him what he had been putting you through these last years? You were supposed to show him hell.**

The voice was picking at his mind again. Yoongi blinked.

**I'm disappointed.**

Yoongi flinched, before shaking it off. He washed his face one last time, stepping out of the hotel bathrooms. Outside, waiting for him, was Seokjin. He was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and with a satisfied smile on his handsome face. Yoongi sighed, averting his eyes and biting his lower lip, swallowing down the churning in his stomach.

"...Seokjin."

Seokjin walked up to him, pinching his cheeks and playing around with them. Yoongi groaned in annoyance.

"It's Hyung. Hyung! When will you ever learn?" Seokjin laughed heartily, retracting his hands and patting his head. "My child, I must say, you have come far."

"Don't call me your child." Yoongi said with a hint of disgust, backing away a bit. Seokjin just stepped up to him with rosy cheeks and a large, proud smile on his face, identical to that one of a mother.

"Yoongi I'm so proud of you right now!" He enveloped Yoongi in a bear hug. "Aah! I never thought you were actually going to do it! After two years! Finally! It was about time! Man!"

Seokjin laughed and laughed with Yoongi still in his arms. After a while, the laughter died down again. Seokjin asked him seriously, "But are you really okay though? You don't look very swell." Seokjin remarked and touched his cheek, a worried look plastered on his face. 

"I'm fine." Yoongi responded, averting his eyes.

Seokjin sighed. "Though your eyes speak another language, Yoongi."

Yoongi didn't answer, still just looking away. Seokjin sighed again, looking at him with empathetic eyes. But to Yoongi, it looked more like pity.

"I know it must've been tough, but I'm glad you did it. You should be too. Now, all of this badness is over with! Giant props to you, Yoongi. Really." Seokjin hugged him once again. "It was only you who could do this. And I believe you did the right thing."

Yoongi pushed him away softly, meeting his eyes again. He felt pierced through by the others dark chocolate eyes, wanting to hide away but at the same time spill all of his secrets out, telling him everything just to get the giant weight off of his chest. He retracted his hands, taking a deep, shaky breath. "I don't need your sympathy, Seokjin. I'm... just a bit shaken up. It's fine, really. I just... need some time for myself."

Seokjin paused for a moment, pondering over what he had to say, before he smiled warmly. "Okay. Don't take forever though."

And with those words, Seokjin simply just pat his head before walking away. Yoongi touched his head, fixing his hair and venturing inside the building again. 

 

*

 

_Meanwhile..._

 

**Seokjin's POV**

 

"Jimin."

"Seokjin."

Jimin's stare was burrowing into him, but Seokjin let himself not be fazed. Seokjin sighed, crossing his arms and looking at Jimin, his gaze being on the verge of a glare.

"What is it now?"

Jimin frowned at him. "You know what's up. Don't think I didn't see you touching Yoongi like that." 

"Oh just give me a break already." Seokjin sighed once again, but this sigh was more exasperated and tired than the previous one. "It was friendly. Is it so wrong of me to want to comfort my friend of a few years?"

"Ugh." Jimin pressed his lips tightly together, knowing that Seokjin was right, though he still persisted. "Still, anything can happen. When you're heartbroken you'll seek out anyone for comfort."

Seokjin put his hand to his head, putting the other on his hip. "Jimin, listen, Yoongi is not the kind of guy who would just switch between one guy to another. I mean, he stuck longing after the same one for two years. And besides, he's not the only one who has to improve here." Seokjin pointed accusingly at Jimin. " _You_ , Jimin, need to improve too. You're way too obsessed with Yoongi. Let him go a little. It's being too much now."

"Don't talk to me like th--"

"Jimin. You're not even letting us touch him anymore." Seokjin swiftly cut him off, and Jimin flinched. He averted his eyes, biting his lower lip.

"W-whatever, I'm gonna make a move on him soon, so I won't be bothering you anymore."

Seokjin sighed loudly, his body dropping down a little. " _Don't_ make a move on him Jimin. You realize he's just gotten rid of nearly all of the things that have been building up these past two years and that he's kind of an emotional wreck right now. Just let him be for the time being. He's not going to be all over another guy just because he's sad, and if you make a move too soon he's more than definitely going to reject you, Jimin."

Jimin looked like he wanted to say something, but reluctantly kept his mouth shut after Seokjin had given him the look. Seokjin gave him a few more strict warnings before they parted ways, and Jimin made his way back to the hotel.

 

*

 

Jimin sighed with closed eyes, and made his way into the hotel room. A light gasp was heard from inside, and Jimin's eyes shot open. Yoongi was standing over the bed, packing his clothes into a plastic bag. He quickly threw the bag down behind the bed, but it was already too late. A sinking feeling of disappointment weighed Jimin down, and he didn't keep it from showing on his face. An expression of guilt donned Yoongi's features.

"You're leaving?" Jimin asked in a sad tone.

"Uh, yeah, I just... feel like I need to get out somewhere." Yoongi said, rubbing his neck.

"Home?"

"Um... yeah." Yoongi said as he bit his lip, looking down with red and swollen eyes at the bag on the floor. His hand found it's way to his other arm, and he swallowed down the ashamed whimper that was threatening to come out. Jimin grumbled, alarms setting off in his head. He cursed inwardly. _Shit! I was going to comfort him all night! And now he's going home!? Damn it, I need to think of something fast._ Jimin fought for a solution as he began to look more and more troubled. Yoongi screwed his eyes shut, thinking he had done something wrong.

"W-well then." Yoongi picked up his bag. "I'll... uh. Get going."

Jimin quickly moved, blocking the way for Yoongi. "Wait! Um, could- could I come with you?"

Yoongi freezed up, his eyes widening. "Uhm. I-I mean... I kind of... wait. Um, I don't... really want... anyone over right now."

Jimin looked him in the eyes with a determined expression. He sighed. "I'm just... worried about you, Yoongi. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. I want you to be safe."

"You're worried about me?" Yoongi asked with a hint of sacrasm, before he laughed bitterly. "Well, I'm sorry, but I don't really feel the best way about you right now, Jimin."

Jimin's stomach fell. He widened his eyes, knees suddenly feeling weak and almost giving out. "W-what? But Yoongi, what I did was for your best! I only... wanted the best for you..." Jimin made a sorrowfull face, looking to the side. His knuckles clenched. This was the only way out. He needed to make Yoongi feel guilty.

Yoongi sighed, averting his eyes. "Look, I'm sorry. I just don't feel very well. Sorry, Jimin." 

Yoongi tapped Jimin's shoulder, before brushing past him. A falling feeling spread across his stomach. His jaw clenched and his fingers twitched, wanting to reach out and grab Yoongi to pull him back and hold him there forever. He stilled, his mind going blank for a moment as he heard the door slide shut behind him, before his thought process started working at mach speeds once again. He tapped his feet, not really knowing what to do, before he decidedly turned around and slamming the door open, not bothering to close it behind him. The only important thing right now was Yoongi. The others didn't matter, they could stay here forever for all he cared.

Jimin rushed down the stairs, bolting out of the building. He had to get to Yoongi's apartment before he did. He needed to get Yoongi's attention, whether it being by playing dirty or not. Jimin quickly got himself a taxi, he hopped in the car, screaming at the driver until he was slamming his foot down on the accelerator, the car nearly flying forward on the highway. After about twenty minutes he already arrived outside of the aparment building, Jimin shoving money into the driver's face. He marched for the door to the apartment complex, only to find that it was locked. He pulled it over and over, letting out frustrated groans. He walked around in circles, mumbling for himself, the stress and fear gnawing at him. 

He looked everywhere, eyes travelling for something, anything that could help his situation. Jimin's eyes then landed on an empty beer bottle, and an idea popped into his head. An idea so recklessly desperate and wretced, that it almost put a smile on Jimin's face. He walked over, gently picking up the green, cold bottle and cradling it in his hands, studying it. A walked away from the aparment building, and when he was far away enough, in a matter of seconds, his attitude changed and he raised his hands, swiftly bringing down his arm, smashing the bottle into a concrete wall. A loud sound of glass breaking echoed through the evening, pieces of glass shards in all forms spreading across the ground. Jimin bent down, searching for the largest, sharpest, most dangerous shard, before locating a fat piece of glass with a sharp, pointy edge, the rest of the piece being blunt and dull, ideal for holding.

Jimin lightly gripped the piece of glass, making sure it didn't penetrate the skin. If it did, it would of been to obvious. He walked into a nearby alleyway, putting the edge to his clothes, and pushing the shard down, and dragging it across his arm. A searing pain emanated from the wound, but Jimin didn't make any sound. He continued making more wounds, on his shoulder, leg, stomach. He made sure they weren't too light, nor deep enough to be considered too problematic in any kind of way. Worst comes thing is that it scars, and that much Jimin could handle. 

Jiming continued hurting himself, pulling his hair and making it into a mess, smashing his face against the walls, scraping up his knees, he did everything he could until his clothes were tattered and soaked in the blooming red color of blood, his face and body had swellings, his knuckles red so that it would look like he fought back, his body was full of bruises and his general appearance looking like he'd been beat up _badly_. 

He smiled, even though his muscles hurt from the movement. His mind was full of fear and thrill, alarms ringing out in his head and his body twitching, adrenaline being pumped out into his veins in mass amount. Jimin threw away the glass piece, making sure to drip some blood on his way in case Yoongi wanted to investigate where it came from. It'd look like he'd gotten beaten up in an alleyway. 

He limped to the entrance to the building once again, slumping down against the wall and sitting down, cradling his knees. He didn't care if anyone saw. All of them could just fuck off. Sluggishly, he took out his keys from his pocket, sliding them underneath a large crack in the building that reached deeply, concealing the keys entirely. It was risky, but if his keys were gone he could use the excuse that he lost them and couldn't go home because of that. 

He sighed, suddenly feeling tired, so very, very tired. Maybe it was all of the blood leaking from his wounds. Maybe the pain was making him lightheaded. None of it really mattered. The only thing that mattered, that ever mattered and will ever matter is Yoongi. _My sweet, sweet Yoongi-Hyung_. Jimin closed his eyes, a cold breath leaving his lips as he teetered on the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness. 

 _If... if only... you could become mine_. 

He thought, as sleep took him.

 


	6. Guilt

 

_In a dream..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Jimin slowly opened his tired eyes. He was inside of his room, laying on his bed. Though, once glance and Jimin could see it wasn't his current room. It was his room from back when he was five. He looked down at his hands, which had suddenly turned into a small childs hands. By now Jimin already knew it was a dream. It was a far too familiar place to him, one that he visited maybe a little too frequently in his dreams. Whatever. It wasn't like he could control it.

Right now in the dream, as usual with his dreams, it was night time. The room was dark, slithers of moonlight filtering in from the windows, causing shadows to dance on the wooden floor. In a way, it felt calm here, serene or maybe even tranquil, if you would. Everything would be perfect if his room didn't smell as bad, and if his bed wasn't dirty and uncomfortable, it wasn't as cold and if Jimin didn't catch all of the bugs and cockroaches skittering across the walls and floors in the corners of his eyes. And if it wasn't just this night he was dreaming about.

All of a sudden, a loud clanging noise came from outside his room. But Jimin wasn't surprised. Not anymore. He was so used to it, the crashing and clanging that came in every dream, a sound so, so familiar from his past. In the very beginning, the sound had traumatized Jimin. But now, he had heard it so many times over that he'd learn to actually like it, in a weird way. Small, yet strict voices could be heard from the other side of the door, and Jimin could pick up on the things they were saying.

"Are you crazy!? Even if we need money, there's no way I'd let him do that!"

The sound of a slap rang out into the night, and Jimin, even after all of these years, flinched. A man spoke in a low, dangerous voice.

"You are the crazy one here. Who cares if we have to make him do this and that? Everyone has to do their part, no matter what it may be. It can't be that bad right? He'll get used to it."

"You only think about yourself." The other person, a woman, spoke back. A bit of shuffling and more clanging could be heard. "And don't talk about it as if it's easy. You don't even know for yourself. You don't understand us. You don't understand anything!"

"As if I'd need to understand whores like you!" Loud steps could be heard, before a bone chilling scream echoed in the apartment. Jimin screwed his eyes shut, pressing down a whimper. He'd heard this so, so many times, he knew what was coming, yet it was still so... scary, in a way.

"Damn drunkard!" The woman yelled at him. "You want money? Fine then! Just stop drinking! You're the one who's eating up all of our money with all of your spendings on alchohol. Most of the time you don't even work! It's me who does everything! Working, taking care of the house, Jimin, finances! You are just biting the hand that feeds you, you dog!"

A low growl emanated from the other and Jimin could hear how he closed in on the woman. His mom. She screamed once again, and more clanging and banging could be heard from outside. Jimin felt guilt eat him up from the inside. He looked towards the door, a strange surge telling him to go and open it. But Jimin quickly shook the idea off. He knew that it wasn't a good idea. He knew, purely and entirely based on first hand experience from his reality back then. Closing out the screaming and yelling and crashing noises from outside, Jimin laid down again. He closed his eyes, trying to relax his trembling body. 

 _Haha. This is really pathetic, isn't it? Even my dreams want to hurt me_. Jimin thought for himself. _I'm already in my early twenties and I can't wake up from my dreams_. _Everything around me just seems to want to hurt me in some way..._

Jimin closed his eyes, trying his best to fall asleep in his dream. Darkness enclosed his body, and soon it felt like he was fleeting. He breathed out. It was a peaceful, cold and chilly darkness enveloping him, wrapping around him. He heard his mother's whispering voice echoing out into the shadows. 

_Don't forget, Jimin. If you want anything, you'll have to get it, no matter what it takes okay? Whatever tacticts, whatever tools, it doesn't matter._

_This world is an unfair place, and sometimes you have to be greedy. There's nothing wrong with that._

_It's perfectly fine._

_I believe in you._

_You'll do just amazingly, my love._

 Jimin could feel some kind of presence stroking him, his hair, his stomach, his legs. It was relaxing. 

_Remember this, okay? No matter what it takes. No, matter, what, it, takes._

As if on reflex, Jimin opened his mouth and answered. "Okay, mom."

After that, it was quiet for a while, before another voice started speaking. It was a childs voice, high and innocent, speaking to the mom.

**But, what if there isn't anything I want?**

_...You'll find it. And if nothing is worth it, then..._

It became silent.

_You'll... know later._

**Know what?** _  
_

_Mm._ The voice stopped speaking for a while.  _Let's call it the art of disappearing._

**So... if I suffer anytime soon, I should... disappear?**

_Now, now Jimin. Don't be so hasty. Most people suffer throughout their entire life. But... they still don't choose to disappear, because they have something to live for. Something they want._

**But when should I disappear then?**

It became silent once again. Jimin could feel a faint breath next to his ear.

_When you have nothing to lose._

**What does that mean, mom?**

_Mmm._ The voice seemed to ponder.  _You'll... be able to see for yourelf soon enough._

And as the voices were fading out, Jimin could feel a strange burning in his eyes. It was so familiar yet unfamiliar. He didn't want to open his eyes. But he could feel himself slipping up. Soon, he fell of the edge, once again, back into consciousness.

 

*

 

_A bit before..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

 _Fuck_. Yoongi wanted to give himself a hard slap, bang his head into the window and to just open the damned car door and jump out of the taxi currently taking him home. But at the same time, he wanted to yell at the driver to drive him back to the hotel so he could kill Hoseok and then go on to destroy everything he had connections with. Yoongi wanted to repent, and at the same time take revenge. 

But instead of doing anything, he just sat there, doing nothing as the taxi took him closer and closer to home. 

Yoongi leaned his head onto the car window. _Ugh. So troublesome_. He closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. After a few minutes of driving, the driver stopped outside of a convenience store. 

"Can I leave you off here?" 

Yoongi grunted a yes, stepping out of the car and handing the driver his money. He started walking to his apartment complex with heavy, slow steps. He really didn't feel energetic. He just wanted to go home and get into bed. As he passed one of the many alleyways on his way home, noticing a few strange drops of a red substance on the ground leading towards his complex. Yoongi stopped for a moment, looking at the stuff on the ground, before hesitantly continuing on. It was probably just something like paint. There's no way in hell that it could be blood. Who drips blood like that on the ground anyway?

Yoongi shook his head, dragging himself further, trying to ignore the conspicuous patterns of red, somehow forming a strange trail leading straight to his building. _Ugh. Creepy_. Yoongi felt chills run up his back as he neared the entrance. It was only then that he noticed where the trail lead to exactly. Outside of the door, there was a guy. He was curled up, hugging his knees. His clothers were tattered and bloody and his body was smock full of bruises and wounds. His head wasn't visible, as it was buried in his arms. The guy was seemingly unconcious, body not moving at all except for his breaths making his back heave up and down. 

 _Should I... help him?_ Yoongi hesitated, his decision swaying back and forth like a swing. He approached the guy carefully, gently putting his hand on his head and slowly lifting it up, revealing a swollen and beaten up face. But it wasn't just anyone's face. Yoongi froze up, his hand immediately retreating back, like it had been burnt by something.

 _Shit_.

Yoongi's lips quivered, his breaths becoming shaky. He started becoming nervous and stressed, the falling feeling from before eating him up from the inside. "Jimin... he's here? The hell? But how..." The first thing his mind went to was witchcraft, but he decidedly shook his head and reminded himself that such things definitely did not exist. _Jimin must've gotten here before him. But how the fuck...?_   Yoongi's eyes traveled to the multiple bleeding wounds and the blue-purplish, swollen bruises all over Jimin's body. He sucked in a sharp breath. Those looked like they hurt. He softly touched  around one of the wounds, inspecting it before he withdrew his hand. Wave upon wave of blood gushed out of the wound, which made Yoongi stop entirely.  ~~~~

Yoongi's thoughts had completely gone still, his body not moving, mind not thinking and senses not feeling, but he immediately noticed Jimin's eyes slowly fluttering open. Yoongi staggered back. At first, Jimin looked surprised, before he smiled sweetly, his face pale and his lips chapped and swollen. And even though he was so beaten up, with only his smile, he instantly looked like an angel. It was to be expected though, really, with his beautiful pale skin and light blonde hair that almost looked like it glowed. _Wait, no, what the fuck Yoongi, get a fucking hold of yourself! Why are you thinking this right now!?_ Yoongi wanted to give himself a slap again, berating himself in his head.

"Hey Hyung..." Jimin said in a weak, hoarse voice. Yoongi's thoughts snapped back to present at the sound of the other's voice. He felt his back run cold. He broke out in a cold sweat, rubbing his neck and looking anywhere else but Jimin.

"Ah... yes..." Was the only thing that he could say. Jimin's dull eyes seemed to flicker ever so slightly, as if he was slipping in and out of consciousness. Yoongi hesitated. "Um... are you okay?"

"...Keys... I lost my keys..." Jimin breathed, blinking repeatedly as if he didn't really understand his own words.

"What? You... you lost your keys!?" Yoongi bent down and as if planned Jimin weakly reached out and took Yoongi's hand. The freezing cold that emanated from the hand scared Yoongi, resulting in him snatching his hand away. He looked down on his own hand, a sudden fear pulsating through him. Blooming, red blood covered his hand. As he tried to process what was happening Yoongi's mind was immidiately thrown into a panic. 

He looked with hazy eyes at Jimin, his hands, every bruise on Jimin's body and his torn and tattered clothes. There was blood all over him. Light, rose colored blood, dark, brown and dry blood and every kind of other bloods there was were splattered all over the others' body. There was so much blood. 

Was he going to die? Was Jimin going to die here? Yoongi shook his head. _Fuck it_. Jimin could explain himself later, Yoongi just couldn't let him die. Right now, the past didn't matter at all. Yoongi hauled Jimin up on his back, struggling to tap in the code for the building before staggering inside and into the elevator. Yoongi could feel a headache whipping up inside of his head like a sandstorm, resisting the urge to just break down in stress.

"Hyung...?" Jimin's hoarse voice reached his ears. "Where... are we going?"

"Shut up." Yoongi muttered, nearly tripping as the elevator stopped. He dragged himself to the door, unlocking it and waltzing in, putting Jimin down on his bed. He was seemingly knocked out once again. Yoongi breathed out, relaxing ever so slightly. Now that he looked closer, he could see wet patterns by the other's eyes. Yoongi chose to ignore it, trying to think of what he should do next. _Should I call the police? Ambulance? Seokjin, maybe?_ Yoongi chose not to contact anyone for now. He carefully undressed Jimin of his clothes, dry blood sticking to his fingers. Yoongi made a disgusted expression, but pushed through, emptying the contents of the clothes and putting them into the washing machine. Wouldn't want anyone finding broken, bloody clothes in his home later on. 

He moved Jimin into his bathtub, getting to washing him, and cleaning and dressing the wounds. Sometimes, Jimin would open his eyes and ask Yoongi what they were doing, but Yoongi just chose to ignore him. Soon after Yoongi had fixed everything up, he could finally be relieved, even if just slightly, all of the turmoil in his gut calming down somewhat. Though, questioning Jimin had to come later. He was asleep, and didn't seem as if he was in his best state. Yoongi let him rest on the bed for the mean time. 

Yoongi tiredly sat down in front of his computer, intention being to search up what to do in a situation like this. Though, instead of immidiately getting to it, he noticed he had been bombarded by messages from his workplace telling him to get better and get back to work quickly. Yoongi grit his teeth.

He was irritated and cranky and lots of emotions were punching at his poor heart right now. First, he had rejected Jimin coming with him and when he comes home he finds Jimin, all beaten up and cold outside of his apartment complex. Something was definitely up. But... Jimin couldn't have beaten himself up, could he? Yoongi was sure that he was not crazy enough to do that just to get to stay with him. But how did he then get those wounds? Dammit, he should've inspected them when he had the chance. Yoongi put his fingers to his temples. His head was hurting from all of the thinking.

 _This was just going to be a great day, wasn't it_?

 

*

 

_One hour later..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Jimin woke up with a start, sitting upright hastily. He could feel a stinging pain emanating from practically every corner of his body. He winced, looking down, only to find that his body was coverd in bandages and large, thick bandaids. Every muscle in his flesh was aching, and his fingers felt numb, like he'd lost touch with them. Everything on the inside felt cold, but an immense heat layered itself on the outside like a shell. Everything felt too much. Jimin pulled a frown, which unleashed a new wawe of pain. 

"Ouch..."

From somewhere, Jimin heard a gasp, leading him to look around. Running to the doorframe was none other than Yoongi, looking at him with wide eyes.

"O-oh. You're awake!" He breathed, body slumping down. Yoongi made his way towards the bed, sitting down. "How do you feel?"

"Ah... I feel fine, I guess. Just hurts a bit." Jimin laughed lightly, and Yoongi looked away. Jimin smiled bitterly. Why won't he look at me? Yoongi made to move away from the bed, but Jimin caught his hand.

"Stay." 

Yoongi sighed. "I wasn't planning on leaving." 

He sat down on the bed once again, fumbling with his hands. "Uh... do you want water?"

"I'm fine."

A deafening silence fell over the two of them like a thick, viscous layer. Yoongi sighed again. 

"Right... I was meaning to ask you what you were doing here. And what... those are." Yoongi pointed towards the multiple wounds and bruises scattered across his body. Jimin grimaced.

"Well. I got off a few blocks away from home, but when I got there I noticed I lost my keys. I went back thinking I could find them but then I got caught and dragged into an alleyway. After that, I don't remember much, just that I was beaten, and when they were done with me, I tried to get home, but then I suddenly spotted your apartment complex, and I dragged myself there. I'm sorry. I wasn't really thinking back then."

"Ah, no, no, it's not your fault. But..." Yoongi trailed off, squinting at him suspiciously. "Have you really lost your keys?"

Jimin's eyes widened, a thrown off expression on his face. He didn't expect that at all. "Y-yeah. I mean, I don't get why I would _want_ to lose my keys."

Yoongi frowned at him, looking like he wanted to have another word, but left it at that.

"Anyways, how and why did you get home before me?"

"I thought that I didn't have any reason staying there." Jimin said, but Yoongi didn't look fully convinced. "So I took a cab. I guess mine was just faster than yours, Hyung."

"Well, that aside, do you remember any of the guys faces? The ones who beat you up," Yoongi asked, and Jimin slowly shook his head, and answered dutifully.

"They were all wearing facemasks and sunglasses. I do remember most of them having black caps and leather clothing, but not much." 

"How many were they?"

Jimin pretended to think, even counting on his fingers for a bit. "Hmm. More than five, at least. Maybe about ten..."

"That sounds fucked up." Yoongi said, cradling his head. "I mean, they could just have been ordinary gangsters trying to steer up trouble by going around and beating other people. But, if they wore masks and concealing clothing they could've been more on the professional side. But at the same time, they didn't have any reason at all to beat you, right?"

Jimin shook his head, before smiling a little. "Wow, Hyung, you really know a lot about this kind of stuff, huh?"

"I've had my own experiences here and there."

"Have you been involved in gang wars before?"

"Mm. No." Yoongi answered, before getting up and sitting down in front of his computer. "Well, I guess you're safe now at least. How do you plan on getting home?"

"I'll just contact my landlord." Jimin said, sinking down into the bed. "Can... I stay here?"

Yoongi looked at him. "...Mm. Okay."

And although his voice sounded reluctant, Jimin shone up. "Th-thank you, Hyung!" 

He grinned, although the muscle movement made his numb cheeks hurt a little, but once again, Yoongi averted his eyes. Jimin frowned. _There it was. Why? Why won't he look? I want him to look at me_. Yoongi heaved a sigh, standing up. 

"I'll go cook something. Wait here."

And after that, Yoongi was walking out of the room. Jimin trained his eyes on the retreating form, like a predator looking at his prey.

_You're going to be mine Yoongi. Soon enough. Whether you like it, or not._

 

*

 

_The next day..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Jimin yawned, stretching in front of the mirror. A sudden pain enveloped his body, and he grit his teeth, quickly returning back to his original position. _So I can't even stretch without these wounds hurting? Man, maybe I did go a little overboard with everything after all_. Jimin thought solemnly, before venturing into the kitchen. Right now, Yoongi was at work, leaving him alone at home. Of course, Yoongi wasn't stupid so he had probably sat up some kind of surveillance around to monitor what Jimin was doing. Right now, to Yoongi, Jimin was suspicious, and the suspect himself knew that as well. Neither of them were letting their guards down. 

Jimin made himself some breakfast, groaning as he spilled the milk in his morning grogginess. During his breakfast he pondered over what he should do during the day. Since he was a manga author instead of an editor or something of the like, he more often than not worked at home instead of somewhere else. And right now, Jimin didn't really feel like going somewhere else with these wounds he was donning, not to mention the bandaids in his face. He couldn't possibly go out like this. 

After breakfast, Jimin sat down with a plop at Yoongi's coffee table in his living room, putting a bunch of papers on the table. Right now, he didn't have a computer to work with, so Jimin decided to focus on his storyboard instead. He had just finished his most recent work, though, you couldn't really call it recent since it had been ongoing for a few years now, and with about seven books released of it. Jimin liked dragging out on things. Anyhow, he had to begin making a new story soon. He jotted down a few notes of how he wanted the story to look like, doodling a few character designs he could think of using on the paper. He sighed, already bored of it. Right now, his mind wasn't really running like it was supposed to. He fished out his phone, dialling Seokjin-Hyung.

_Brr. Brr._

_Brr. Brr. Click!_

_"Yes?"_ Seokjin's voice sounded through the phone speaker. 

"Ah. Hi Hyung."

_"Ah, Jimin. Why are you calling? Can't you just come down and talk?"_

Oh. Jimin had forgotten to tell him that he's not actually there anymore. "Uh... well Hyung. Yoongi kinda wanted to go home, and I asked if I could go with but he said no... so I also went home. And uh... now I'm at Yoongi's."

For a while, the line was silent, before a loud voice erupted from the speakers. _"What!? WHAT!? You-- you left!? You LEFT!? How could you do this!? And... and to think I took time off from my job to have this! To assist you with your stupid plans! And this is what I get!?"_

"Hyung, you took time off from your job a few days before this. It's your holiday!"

_"Whatever! Besides, how did you get Yoongi to let you in if he rejected you in the first place?!"_

"Uh..." Jimin looked around for any listening devices. He leaned close to he mic and whispered. "I... uh, hurt myself. Badly. And then waited for Yoongi at his doorstep."

Once again, the line went dead silent, before Jimin heard a heavy, disappointed sigh, before Seokjin-Hyung spoke once again, but in a much deeper, vicious tone.  _"Jimin?"_

"Yes?"

 _"When I get back, you better get ready for your punishment."_ Jimin felt cold chills run through his body. But after less than a second, that high and friendly voice of Seokjin-Hyung was back.  _"Well, I guess this is how it is. But just to inform you Jimin, there is nothing good about this. You tricked Yoongi, hurt yourself and forced your way into his home. My guess is that you wanted to comfort him, but right now, for you to be able to speak to me, that must mean that he's at work, right? It's not you taking care of him anymore, it's him taking care of you. God, Jimin, I'm really worried now. Poor Yoongi. He must be so exhausted."  
_

Jimin immidiately turned sour as he heard Seokjin-Hyung use that tone when talking about Yoongi. "Seokjin-Hyung--"

 _"You wanna pick a fight with me right now, Jimin?"_ Seokjin-Hyung cut him off swiftly with cold words practically dripping with venom.  _"Because, even though I may not really sound it, I'm really mad at you right now. You've messed up, Jimin. Maybe you should use that brain of yours to think further ahead of time, and not just of your own gain, hm? Grow up, Jimin. If you continue like this, Yoongi will never come to love you like you'd hope, and your friends, me included, will certainly not become friendlier with you either."_

Jimin fell silent. He felt a mix of fear, resentment and pride clog up in his gut. Ugh. He could hear Seokjin-Hyung sigh slightly. 

 _"Well, I suppose we don't really have anything else to talk about."_ He said.  _"Goodbye then, I guess."_

 _Bleep_.

Jimin had the urge to throw his phone out of the window. _God. I want to hate Seokjin-Hyung so bad right now._ Jimin clenched his fists. _Damn_. He felt like shit. But there was no way he was ever going to let anyone persuade him to stop going after Yoongi. He was going to chase him forever if he had to. To the ends of the world. Without Yoongi, his life meant nothing. It would never mean anything. Jimin buried himself into a mound of pillows on the bed, a dark look on his face.

_Well, it seems I'll have to step up my game._


	7. Desire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some mild little hot somethings in this chapter~
> 
> I'm sorry that this chapter is also kind of short, and it moves quite fast as well. Though, I hope you can still enjoy it!

_The next day..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

Yet another day had passed with Jimin still inside of his home, though now sleeping in a futon on the floor. Yoongi sighed, struggling with fitting the words inside of the speaking bubbles of his current project. The font size seemed to just grow smaller and smaller. Why did he have to be doing god motherfucking _Taehyung's_ work out of all of the other authors and their works out there? Taehyung's work was always a fucking hell to manage. Yoongi took a quick glance at the clock. About five thirty.  _I should probably be able to get off pretty soon._ Yoongi sighed, moving the words around and trying to find a way to fit it all inside of the bubbles, if there even was a way. Worst case scenario, he'd just have to call Taehyung and say that the bubbles were too small. But he didn't feel like calling Taehyung. Not after what had happened. Yoongi grunted.

 _Stop it. Stop thinking like this. It's work. Personal fucking problems don't apply to work._ He tried convincing himself, but trying even harder to make them fit. After a few minutes he finally found a way to fit it all in, and he heaved a sigh, relieved. He looked at the clock once again. Only about ten minutes had passed. He groaned, and looked at his work on the computer. He was almost done with one chapter. The hell he was going to start working on a new one today. Yoongi quickly finished up the final touches, double checked everything and immidiately got up. 

"I'll get going now." He looked at his manager for permission, whom just nodded. She didn't even look like she was paying any attention.  _Well, that's only good for me. I always work overtime so much anyways._ Yoongi took the bus home, arriving just in time for dinner, which Jimin had so kindly cooked up for him. Jimin gave him a warm smile and a hello as he entered the house, and Yoongi nodded back as a greeting. He threw the keys onto the kitchen counter, sliding into his chair and thanking for the food. He didn't waste any more time, and chowed down. 

"Haha. Looks like someone's hungry. Guess it was good that I cooked, huh?" Jimin chuckled, and Yoongi nodded, mouth still full with food.

"Thanks." He mumbled. Shortly after finishing his meal, Yoongi ventured into his bedroom. He sighed, throwing himself onto his bed, completely exhausted. He groaned loudly. Just how long was he going to let Jimin crash here? Jimin's wounds were still pretty bad, and Yoongi really, _really_ didn't feel like getting involved with some kind of doctors or investigators, since he was practically the primary 'witness' to Jimin's case. All because Jimin got beat up. _Ugh. How fucking annoying can a situation get?_ He was both physically and emotionally exhausted, and he really couldn't bother taking care of someone right now. 

 _I guess I'm lucky that Jimin can still take care of himself, even though he's pretty injured_. Yoongi thought for himself as he buried himself into his pillows, eyes closing tiredly. Couldn't Seokjin just come and pick him up or something? Yoongi knew it wasn't really the greatest thing to think about a friend, but he couldn't deal with someone else at his home. He needed rest and time. For himself. _Alone_. 

  _Ahh. What am I going to do with him? With myself?_

Yoongi breathed out. He let himself wander into his thoughts. But it didn't last very long, as he already felt sleep tugging at his ends. Yoongi didn't have the energy to resist. He just let himself fall into a deep, deep sleep.

 

*

 

_Sometime at night..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

Yoongi was still asleep when it happened. Well, not entirely asleep. Just somewhat asleep. But still asleep just enough to not be able to react at all with neither his physical body or sluggish mind. 

Yoongi didn't have any idea of time, when he felt someone else climb into his bed. He felt it, but he couldn't open his eyes to see who it was. Though, he knew that it was obviously Jimin, since no one else was in the apartment than the two of them. The bedsheets sank down a little, making Yoongi move slightly. But he still couldn't open his eyes, nor do anything. He was still also slightly in his dreams, seeing an entirely different setting flash before his eyes, and not his bedroom.  _Argh. Who the hell cares. Let him sleep in my bed if he damn wants. I don't know, maybe it's more comfortable._

Yoongi let himself resume his peaceful sleeping, his dreams being the only place where he was truly relaxed. He smiled for himself inside of his mind, letting his dreams flow on comfortably.

Until he felt something touch his lips briefly.

Yoongi's thoughts and dreams all did a dramatic pause. He desperately tried to open his eyes, but to no avail. _Damn it! Who the hell's doing stuff with my mouth!? It... it couldn't be Jimin, right? But.. it had to be. He was the only one... the only other one in this apartment. Was Jimin really kissing him? What the fuck? ...Why...?_ Yoongi's thoughts began racing all over in his head. But he still, he  _still_ couldn't open his damn eyes. Or move his fucking body for that matter. Yoongi angrily tried to move his body, but nothing worked. It was like he was completely paralyzed. _Damn. Was I drugged or something...?_ He thought for himself, first thinking that it was a completely stupid and outrageous thought, before actually starting to think that it kind of made sense. After all, he didn't know what Jimin could've put in his food. But... he _wouldn't_ , right? Jimin wouldn't. He'd never .. _.Right_?

While he was busy thinking he felt another touch to his lips. A long, lingering kiss. The others' lips were soft and smelled of strawberry vanilla ice cream. Very specific, but they really did. After that long kiss they became more active. They pecked his lips again and again, and before long Yoongi felt a hot tongue drag across his bottom lip. His whole body tensed up. He felt a warm and small hand slide underneath his shirt, feeling all over his body, brushing over all his sensitive places. Yoongi tried to shout out something, like stop, or get off, or something like that. But all that came out from his throat was a deep, raspy moan, laced full of rough grogginess from sleeping. But, he wouldn't be able to say anything any time soon anyways as the others' lips occupied his again. And now, the other's tongue pressed against his already abused lips. Shit. They were going to get swollen at this rate. Maybe they already were.

The other's tongue pressed into his mouth delving between his lips and prying them open. The tongue played around with his, licking every corner of his mouth. 

"Nn... mmh.. ha...!" Yoongi let out small, short sounds, his breathing uneven.

The other was sucking on his tongue and biting his lips, almost in a desperate manner, kissing and ravishing his lips like there was no tomorrow. Yoongi didn't even know kissing could be so intense. The hand that was roaming around underneath his shirt became two hands, pressing against his skin and tugging at his nipples. Yoongi could feel himself get more and more pent up from this, distracted from all kinds of sensations he was feeling right now. _What the hell was happening?_

"Ahn... nnn!" Yoongi began to unconsciously press up against those lips. Those soft, hot lips ruining his own, that long tongue dragging up and down his throat and the careful teeth nibbling at his lips. He felt drool slip out of the corner of his mouth, but Yoongi didn't really care. He was still at a loss of what was happening. After kissing him deeply for a while, the hands slowly retracted, like they didn't want to leave. The mouth also left, leaving Yoongi feeling slightly empty. Soon enough, the weight from the bed also disappeared, and Yoongi was left alone again. He could practically feel the blush on his face. His temperature must've gone up at least one degree. And he still couldn't move. 

Yoongi breathed out heavily, panting. He... was kissed. He thought stupidly. Then it dawned on him that it actually felt pretty good. _Very good_. But... how? Why would anyone... who would just come and kiss him in the middle of the night? He wrapped around the thought, trying to twist and turn the idea inside of his mind, but he still couldn't figure out a motive. Was... was it even real? He closed his eyes tiredly, stopping all of his thinking. Yoongi felt himself drift off, spent after the kiss. Can you even be spent after a kiss? Nevertheless he felt drowsy and tired, aside from all of the confusion. Yoongi groaned, decidedly putting aside his worries. He was too tired for this, he could think about them tomorrow. He let himself fall into a deep sleep again without further thinking.  

 

*

 

_A few days later..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Amazingly, Yoongi had let him stay a few more days. Of course, Jimin had already retrieved his keys, which Yoongi didn't know of. Fortunately, Jimin's plan had worked just fine, it seemed. Yoongi definetly suspected him and was more distant than ever, but he seemed to be avoiding the topic at hand, which made Jimin slightly relieved.

Of course, it had been a risky move, just acting on his instinct. Seokjin-Hyung had also specifically told him to not make any moves. But Jimin needed some kind of relief from this aching want that was nagging him for most of the time. He was so close. So, so close to reaching his goal. He could almost taste it. The taste of victory. It was almost addicting in a sense, always chasing after something better and higher, wanting it, _needing_ it. At least this should keep him satisfied for a while. When he thought back on it, he couldn't even imagine how he could've controlled himself before. Now, he almost couldn't keep his hands to himself. He always found them hovering in some place near Yoongi body, just waiting to grab ahold of him. Like they had a mind of their own. 

Jimin sighed, pulling himself back to reality and moving to the kitchen. Out of boredom, he started doing the dishes. As he tried to amuse himself, he heard his phone ring. He abandoned the dishes in favor of his phone, picking up the call.

"Yes?"

"Jimin! Are you still staying at Yoongi's?" The familiar voice of Seokjin-Hyung echoed from the other line. Jimin sighed once again. 

"Yeah..." 

"So? When are you planning to get out of there?" 

"When Yoongi decides it..." Jimin mumbled, leaning closer to the mic. "I've told him I've lost my keys... so. I'm having him believe that I'm having my landlord make a new one." 

The line went quiet, and Jimin felt a terrifying sense of familiarity. 

"...Jimin." Seokjin sighed. "I know you treasure him a lot. But this is not the way." 

"Don't tell me what to do..." Jimin muttered under his breath, feeling a mix of being slightly afraid and irritated. He heard Seokjin-Hyung let out a frustrated grunt on the other side.

"Jimin! Just listen to me for once and--" 

 _Beep_. 

Jimin hanged up, tossing the phone onto the kitchen counter. A frown pulled at Jimin's lips, and he kissed his teeth in annoyance.

"Fucking Seokjin-Hyung. He always thinks he can go around telling me what to do and not. I'll do as I well damn please." Jimin swore, continuing to scrub the dishes, though now more furiously. He cursed more under his breath, going to his phone and having his fingers levitate over the 'block' button for Seokjin-Hyung's contact a while. But he always resigned, retreating back and leaving him still in his contacts.

After a few hours, Yoongi came home from work, the familiar toss of keys and shuffling of shoes being heard. They exchanged a few words, and Yoongi seemed to immediately notice his bad mood, like he was some kind of telepathic. He chose not to dig or prod into it, just leaving Jimin alone for the time being. They left each other to their own devices, the time passing slowly. Too slowly for Jimin's taste, which only served to make him crankier. He layed down on his bed, not doing anything when he heard Yoongi call out to him.

"Dinner's ready. Come to the kitchen." 

Jimin rose from the bed, groaning at the slight sting. These damn wounds. They were still hurting, even after all of this time. They were probably going to scar. _Damn it._ Jimin blew the thought away as he approached the dinner table, just wanting to get to enjoy something this day. He sat down with a thud, thanking for the food and fingering at his chopsticks. The cool metal of them made him slightly calmer. He took a few bites of the food, nodding and humming.

"It's good." 

Yoongi didn't answer, just looking at him, eyes boring into him. He wasn't eating anything, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly as if he wanted to say something but was hesitating. Whenever they met eyes, Yoongi always averted his own, quickly forcing some food down his throat. When both of them were almost done, Yoongi finally sighed, putting his hands down on the table, and looking Jimin square in the eye. 

"Um... Jimin, okay, I know... that you're probably not in your best mood, but I've been meaning to talk to you about something." He said, fingers smoothing over the edges of his plate. He looked down. "Though, if you don't feel like it's the right time, it can wait. It's not _that_ important, so..."

"Ah, no, no." Jimin hastily corrected him, waving his hands. He acted innocent and surprised, hoping that would have the right feel to it. "I'm sorry I've been kind of sour recently. I'm just really bored, and I've been waiting for something to happen, so I'll gladly talk with you!"

"I see. Okay then, come."

"Haha." Jimin laughed a little, but inside he was distressed. He was afraid of what Yoongi would bring up. Had he noticed anything? Jimin hadn't really been that discreet about everything. _He might've caught something. Damn! Should've been more careful. Fuck, fuck, fuck_! Jimin clenched his fists, making sure he was behind Yoongi so that he wouldn't see it.

Both of them sat down on the bed in Yoongi's bedroom, and an awkward atmosphere settled. Yoongi scratched his cheek and rubbed his neck, unsure of how to start. He sighed, taking a deep breath and shaking his head. 

"So... uh. I'll be straightforward. A few days ago, in the middle of the night, I woke up to someone kissing the shit out of me, and I couldn't move. Uh..." Yoongi trailed off, realizing how incredibly blunt he had been, but quickly getting back on track. "I was just wondering if it was you. Like, if you had anything to do with it."

Jimin tried his best to look confused, fear steadily building up inside of him. "What do you mean? S-someone... kissed you? I mean... it was probably just some kind of dream or something."

"But it felt real!" Yoongi burst out as he slightly raised his body, before his eyes widened and he quickly sat down again. "I mean... it did feel pretty fucking real."

"But... uh. You couldn't move, right? I mean, if you were awake you could've probably moved or something..." Jimin trailed off. He bit his lip, nervousness biting at his seams. He couldn't lose this now. He had to keep calm about this. This wasn't nearly as dangerous as some other things. It could've been worse. _Calm down_...

"It could've been sleep paralyzation or something." Jimin reasoned, but Yoongi still seemed unsure. Jimin breathed out, readying his cards and closing his eyes. "Listen Yoongi-Hyung. I know I'm kind of a suspect since I'm the only other person in this apartment, but I promise you... I-I would never do something to you like that! Especially after... what happened. And... I'm relfecting about that, too. I know I wasn't really... good to you but.. Agh, I'm just really sorry, Yoongi. _I'm sorry_." 

Yoongi sighed, putting a hand on his shoulder with a guilty look on his face. _Good_. Jimin was getting somewhere with this.

"It's fine now Jimin..." 

Yoongi cocked his head to the side, not really sure about how to continue. Jimin could see the conflicting feelings in his eyes. He leaned back onto the bed, cushioning himself, leaving Yoongi sitting alone. There was a silence between them, neither making any moves to break it. Yoongi looked at him, his lips going from a frown to flat to a frown again. He was obviously thinking about things that didn't make him feel too happy. He sighed, standing up and making his leave. Jimin sat up.

"I'll sleep on the floor tonight." 

"Ah, Hyung, wait!" 

Yoongi stilled, casting a glance at him and waiting for his word. Jimin hesitated, before shaking his head. "N-no... nothing. Sorry."

 _What was I gonna do anyway?_ Jimin thought as he watched Yoongi leave, sinking back down into the bed once again. He stroked the pillows, drinking in the other's scent. He gripped them harder, burying his head into them. _Please. If there's a god out there, please just let me have him. I've wanted him for so long. I'd do anything. Please..._

_I beg of you._

*

 

_A few minutes later..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

The lights were out. The sound of languid breathing echoed through the room. Yoongi buried himself in the covers, pushing himself into his bedding. _Why did the hell he want to sleep on the floor_? _It was his home, for fucks sake_. Yoongi sighed, feeling the unwelcomed thoughts coming back again. Thoughts that had been occupying his mind more and more, thoughts of that one night. Sometimes, he could still feel the lingering touch on his lips. _Fuck. Why was he thinking about this now?_

Yoongi squirmed around in the covers, hands twitching. _Why the fuck was he suddenly feeling so hot? Why now_? Yoongi lifted the covers, looking down. _Fuck_. It was up already. He juggled the option of going to the bathroom. But the door to the outside of his room was locked, and if he tried to unlock it Jimin would definitely wake up and notice...!

Yoongi bit his lip, hand travelling down in between his legs. He quickly sat up, quickly checking if Jimin was awake. The heavy breathing and slight twitching of his fingers told him he wasn't. Yoongi let out a relieved sigh, laying back down again. His hand went back to it's original place and he fondled the growing bulge there for a few seconds. Yoongi sighed in pleasure, arching his back slightly. It had been so long. 

He imagined those pair of lips kissing him just as intensely, devouring him whole. Oh, how he longed for some kind of human contact from someone else. Yoongi immersed himself in teasing, pressing harder and harder on himself. His own heavy breathing and gasps filled his ears.

Unfortunately though, what didn't reach his ears was the slight rustling coming from the bed above.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry ;*; 
> 
> But I hope you enjoyed reading, and merry Christmas in advance!


	8. Calamity of mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Masturbation scene incoming.

_At the same time..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

_Gasp_.

Jimin's eyes slowly opened, and he rubbed them groggily. He groaned silently, blinking a few times. He heard shuffling from below, and a new, sudden gasp was heard. _Huh...?What's happening?_ Jimin paused for a little. _Wait_... He moved a little bit closer to the edge of the bed, looking down. Yoongi was curled up in his covers, his back rising with heavy pants and his shoulder was making strange movements and...

"Haa... ngh!" 

He didn't even have time to blush. Alarms fired off in his head and Jimin quickly turned back, his movement making a little too much noise. Yoongi's breathing stopped abruptly. _Fuck!_

He could hear him carefully shifting, and Jimin shut his eyes, trying his best to look asleep, desperately calming himself. He had to push down every urge to react, straining to keep his adrenaline in check, his own breathing slow and his face serene. He could feel Yoongi's piercing eyes on himself, studying him tediously. They seemed to linger on him for what felt like forever. 

"Ugh..." 

Jimin could hear him moving around, probably debating whether to continue or not. Jimin, although still shook, prayed silently that he would. After a while that seemed like an eternity, Yoongi laid back down, continuing his shenanigans. Jimin thanked whatever gods that were out there, and quietly moved to the edge once again, hoping to catch some glimpses. Luckily, his movement went unnoticed. He glanced down. Yoongi was still in the same position as before, knees folded towards his body, the blanket was still partially covering his body, shrouding Jimin's view of the real business. Jimin bit his lip, pushing down an unsatisfied noise back into his throat. That damn blanket needed to fucking go. 

"A-aa..." Yoongi shakily breathed, mouth opening. Jimin could see his pink, hot tongue on the verge of rolling out, and his rosy lips parting deliciously. His eyes were scrunched shut, opening occasionally and showing irises full of lust and want, a beautiful blush adorning his face. Jimin could practically feel the heat radiating from Yoongi, ignoring his own that was steadily growing further down. 

_I wonder what he's thinking about..._ Jimin thought to himself, watching Yoongi jerk himself. _Is he thinking about the kiss from before?_

Jimin felt hope surge in his chest, thinking that maybe, just maybe Yoongi could be thinking about him. Thinking about how Jimin would kiss and lick him all over his body, pleasure him until he tipped, _take him_ \- or... perhaps he was thinking about taking Jimin? Perhaps he was moving his hand so tightly around his member to the fantasy of shoving his fingers up Jimin, pressing inside and having a ride with him, fucking him senseless into the bedsheets. Of course, Jimin would accept any way he could have Yoongi.

Jimin tried his best to control his breathing, trying to keep it languid like one of a sleeping person. He gazed down at Yoongi with longing in his eyes. _God_ , Jimin's hands ached to reach forward and touch him, but he kept them inside of the covers. He wanted to touch him so bad. Jimin's hand slowly trailed down, pressing down on his own waking erection. He sucked in a sharp breath at the little but still relieving friction.  _Fuck. He can't do this. Not now_. Jimin, with a fair amount of difficulty, restrained himself, bringing his hands away. He'd just wait for it to go away, even if it was almost the level of mission impossible. 

"Hhaa... _God damnit_... Mng!" Yoongi hissed, biting down hard on his lips. His other hand moved to grab at his member as well, both of them starting to move faster and faster, twisting. _He must be close..._ Jimin thought, his eyes completely fixed on Yoongi's movement. His breathing sped up, brows furrowing, and his mouth opened once again. His silent moans turned into small, high whimpers, his hands speeding up their pace until they came to an aprubt halt, Yoongi groaning out.

"Anngh... hoo.." Yoongi breathed out, laying still for a few moments with his fingers absentmindedly tracing over his saliva slicked lips, touch feathery light. He smacked his lips, a new blush creeping up his neck. He started moving slightly, groaning and getting up and tiredly rummaging through his closet, fishing up a new pair of boxers. He took one last glance towards Jimin, who was quick to close his eyes once again, before he went out of the room, probably to clean up or something.

Jimin just laid there, a bit stunned.  _I... just watched Yoongi..._ He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling.

When Yoongi was completely gone and the long awaited sound of water flushing from the faucet came, Jimin quietly lifted the cover, looking down. Oh, there was something going on down there, alright. He experimentally touched his dick, which was straining against his pants, and he had to quickly bite down on his cheek to keep himself from letting out a moan. 

_Shit_. It seemed like his problem wasn't going away anytime soon.  

Jimin sighed. _Was he really going to be having to sleep like this?_

 

*

 

_The next morning..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

The morning after that night was quiet and stale. For the most part, it was because the majority of the morning was spent with Yoongi alone, Jimin sleeping in unusually late. He sighed as he made his coffee, biting his lip in worry. _Shit. What do I do if he heard me? Why... Why, why,_ why _! Urgh! Why the fuck did I do that? That was not the time for that! Jimin was right next to me for fucks sake! All that because of a stupid fucking dream involving a kiss! It was just a goddamn kiss, for the love of god! A kiss!_

Yoongi fought the urge to kick the cupboards underneath the counter he was doing his work on. Frustration and shame bubbled up inside of him. He let out a sound that was a mix between a groan and a sigh, before pouring his coffee into his cup and checking the time. 08:11. The bus arrived at 08:59. Work started 09:30. Yoongi still had quite some time before he had to go.

He sat down at the kitchen table, smoothing his hand over the blank surface. White. Yoongi sighed, looking around and remarking. A lot of things in his house were either white or grey or black. He should get more colors. Yoongi drank a clunk of his coffee, letting the dark, bitter taste spread over his tongue. He put down the cup, looking to the side as he heard heavy footsteps from the hallway. 

"You finally up?" 

Jimin was leaning against the door frame that lead into the kitchen, wearing nothing but his white night t-shirt and a pair of grey boxers. A few of his bandages came into sight. His hair was ruffled. Jimin looked at him with a strange gaze eyes, his mouth in a straight line.

"Yeah..."

Yoongi swallowed. What was with that greeting? Don't you usually say good morning or something to go with it? Something seemed off with him. _Very off_.  _Did he hear me last night after all? Fuck..._  "Are you alright? You seem kinda odd."

The other paused for a bit before he shook his head, putting on a smile. But it didn't reassure Yoongi at all. 

"Nah, don't worry. Just having something on my mind."

"And that is...?" 

Jimin just shook his head, looking away and starting to make some breakfast for himself. "Nothing, Hyung. I'm really fine."

Yoongi kept silent, taking a sip of his coffee. He looked at Jimin, who was quietly making his breakfast; some bread with cheese and ham and a cup of milk-coffee with lots of sugar. So typically Jimin. Yoongi sighed and bit his lower lip, trying his best to ignore the feeling of shame curling inside of his stomach. _Damnit. I should of been more fucking careful. Of course he heard me_.

He averted his eyes, looking out of the window and checking out the city below, in an attempt of letting his mind wander elsewhere. Anything else than the topic of Jimin would do right now. The traffic was fairly calm, only a few cars passing by. Yoongi's eyes studied the many human figures walking across, forth and back, going wherever their destination were. Looking at everyone down below being somewhat productive, he wondered what the others were doing right now. Seokjin, Namjoon, Jungkook... Taehyung, and even Hoseok. Since the incident there had been a complete fallout from contact with them. _I should probably contact them_.

Yoongi eyed a part of the city that was a bit farther away, all of the streets and details out of his sight. It was where the café Jungkook worked at was. A nice, cozy little place in a street corner, good service with great coffee to boot. Relaxing atmosphere. God, how he could use a visit to that place right now. He looked at where Seokjin's model agency building would be, moving on to his own work building, which was also far out of sight. He checked the time again. 08:27. Ugh. Still a lot of time left.

He flinched as Jimin sat down with a loud thud at the table, opposite of him. Yoongi sighed, shaking his head. He didn't want to become to used to the feeling of having Jimin in his house. Hadn't he been here for quite a while, anyway? He breathed in slowly, deciding to be a bit blunt about it.

"Jimin?" He called, gaining the other's attention. "When are you planning on leaving my apartment? Your injuries have almost healed, right?"

Jimin's eyes, that were already a bit muddy, became even more dark. Yoongi bit his lip again and started to fidget. _Shit... that was a mistake, wasn't it?_ Jimin's lower lip jutted out slightly, and he placed his gaze elsewhere.

"Well... the key. I'll contact the landlord today, we'll see if it's done." He said with a strained voice, like he was reluctant to leave. Yoongi decided to ignore it. 

"Good."

In less than just a second, Jimin whipped his head to look at him, his eyes wide. Yoongi, startled, put up his hands.

"Woah, woah. Did I say something wrong?"

Jimin paused for a moment, before screwing his eyes shut and shaking his head, probably for the hundreth time today. He suddenly seemed very interested in looking down at his coffee. Yoongi kissed his teeth. 

"Hey, Jimin, are you sure you're alright?" Yoongi insisted, and Jimin looked at him, his face wearing a vapid smile. 

"Yeah. I am. Don't worry, _Hyung_." 

Yoongi was getting even stranger vibes. What the hell was wrong with him now? _Why the fuck would he act like this if he just... h-heard me?_ Yoongi picked at his fingernails. _Just... hearing me couldn't put Jimin in this bad of a mood... right?_  He took the initiative and studied Jimin, making sure his gaze was extra noticeable wanting to get some kind of reaction from him.

After a while Jimin started to shuffle around, his eyes travelling from place to place, landing anywhere else than on Yoongi. But, there was no hint of a blush or of Jimin being flustered. _Damn... he..._ Yoongi felt the shame and all of the ugly feelings bubbling up again, pressing against his stomach like a heavy stone. 

Yoongi looked to the side, choking down the question. 

_Did you hear me? Did you hate it? Was it really that bad?_

He stood up stiffly, almost knocking over the chair. He didn't bother checking the time, he just needed to get out. He downed his coffee, putting the mug inside of the dishwasher and quickly walking out of the kitchen.

"I'll get going."

Jimin's answer came after a while of silence.

"...Okay."  _Have a good day, Hyung!_ Yoongi ignored the stinging feeling inside of his chest. _Damnit. Why was he acting up now? Had he already gotten all smitten for him?_ Yoongi frusted out a breath, sounding kind of like a dry chuckle. Why was he always so goddamn clingy? It was like he gravitated towards any kind of human contact.

Yoongi's face made a sour, distasteful frown at the thoughts as he jammed his feet into his shoes and quickly stomped out of the building.

He arrived at the bus stop, calming himself. He ignored all of the terrible feelings and emotions inside of him that just made him want to scream. He shooed away all thoughts about Jimin. 

This isn't the goddamn time for this.

He breathed out, forcing himself to relax. He calmly checked his watch. 08:41. He sucked in a deep breath.

Well. He didn't need to wait for the bus for  _t_ _hat_ long.

 

*

 

_Some time later..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Jimin banged his head onto the coffee table. 

He left his work untouched on his laptop, hundreds of paper sheets scattered across the 'working space' he'd made. He ignored it all, as he pressed his cheek onto the smooth, cold surface, closing his eyes. He couldn't help but think about the morning, and Yoongi's words that were re-echoing inside of his head over and over again. 

_"When are you planning on leaving?"_

_"Good."_

_Good._

A twinge of pain seared in his heart, cutting a frown onto his face. He pressed the side of his head further into the coffee table, wanting to disappear. He wanted a black hole to swallow him, a hurricane to sweep him away, an overwordly being to snap his fingers and erase him out of existence. He just needed something to make him vanish away, or at least something to distract him. 

He sighed heavily, sitting up straight and smoothing over all of his papers with his fingers. Lightly, ghosting over his sketches of all kinds of scenes. Normal, walks in the parks, talks at work, and of course, the more intimate scenes. Jimin's fingers stopped above a specific sketch with a more 'intimate setting', though not nearly that explicit. He picked it up, taking a look at it. It was a rough 'final' sketch, just ready to be transferred into the computer and finished. The scene itself was simple, really. First, deep look into the eyes, faces near, then a desperate kiss with hands wandering and small moans and huffs being exuded into the air. The fourth or so panel had them hugging, spelling out their love for each other. Another look into each other's eyes. Laughter. And the page was finished. It was an incredibly happy moment for both of the characters. 

Though, not that his characters knew that one of them was going to get kidnapped and brutally tortured about one or two chapters later. As per usual.

But still. Jimin gazed at his drawing with a certain longing. Oh, how he wished those two guys that were on the page could be him and Yoongi. Thinking about him again, made his head hurt. Ugh. Jimin stared up at the ceiling, gaze not really fixed on anything particular. 

Yoongi. _Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi_. 

His mind was filled to the brim with thoughts about the other.

_What if he doesn't like me anymore? What if he's gotten tired of me? He probably has. Why else would he as me when I'm leaving? He obviously wants me to leave. Am I really that much of a burden? I'm only trying to help him..._ Jimin paused at that thought. What had he really done to help Yoongi anyway? He didn't bother pondering over the thought, chasing it away immediately. Of course Jimin had helped Yoongi. _He always helps him_. 

A slight sting in his gut made Jimin's hands twitch. He tried with all his might to ignore the feeling that what he was thinking was wrong. 

_I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. My actions and thoughts and desires will lead me somewhere great._

**But you're hurting him.** Seokjin's calm, though disappointed voice sounded through his head. It was like something had snapped within Jimin. All of his restrains were thrown out the window. 

Jimin slammed his fist onto the table, causing some of his papers to fly. He threw the sketch that he was holding onto the couch he was sitting on, feeling anger and resistance rising within him. His throat was burning and aching to let out a scream.

**You're hurting Yoongi, Jimin.**

"Just shut the fuck up! I'm right! I'm always right!"

_"Shut the fuck up! I'm always right!"_ His father's words echoed in his mind, sending him into a reeling flashback. That dark room, the clunking and clanging, the smack of a hand on skin, _screaming_... _"You don't have the right to tell me what's right or not, you little fuckin' whore!"_

_...Dad...?_

"Urgh!" Jimin clutched his head, screwing his eyes shut. He was falling apart. _Damnit! Goddamn Seokjin's fault... everything is his fucking fault_! He bit down on his lip hard until he could taste blood, willing the voices to go away. He could still hear the faint clanging noise in the back of his head. He sucked in a breath like there was no air, trying to relax but was unable to. He wasn't aware of anything. He instead focused on his breathing, slowly but steadily coming back to it.

He carefully opened his eyes and looked around. White, grey, and black walls and furniture decorated his surroundings. He was in Yoongi's apartment. _Yoongi_. Somehow, that thought didn't calm him. It only caused the words from before to re-echo through his head again.

_"When are you planning on leaving?"_

_Leave._

_Yoongi doesn't want me._

A throbbing, blooming pain filled his whole body at that thought, and Jimin thought that pain could've never felt so terribly _bad_. It was like he was choked, a thousand weights pressing down all over his body and threatening to crush him whole. And that goddamn stinging in his... _somewhere_. He couldn't even keep track of what he was feeling anymore. Longing, anger, regret, what else? All those horrible feelings were monopolizing him, not letting him go.

He didn't want to be here, with all of these feelings and emotions. He wanted somewhere safe. _Mom...!_

He let out a keen, throwing his head into his arms which were now resting on the table. He willed away all of the tears and ugly feelings rearing their heads, clutching his hands into fists in sheer frustration. He was surrounded by papers with sketches of romantic and happy scenes of couples that he made, and all of them seemed to be mocking him.  _You're only hurting him. He doesn't want you. He_ hates _you! You'll never be like us! Ha **ha** _**ha!**

Jimin wanted to destroy everything. 

He let out a hollow, cruel laugh, drying up all comfortable air to breathe and turning the warmth in the room into cold. 

"Yoongi doesn't want me here."  _Did he ever?_

Jimin closed his eyes again, burying himself deeper into his arms. He ignored the unrelenting buzzing that was now coming from his phone. He ignored all of which was around him. 

 

_I hate everything._

 

 


	9. Sunny storm

_At work..._

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

He felt like shit. 

Yoongi looked at his work. A freshly edited chapter, yet to be proofread. God... he really didn't feel like proofreading or doing the finishing touches. He just wanted to escape, to disappear so that the thoughts about the morning would also disappear. Instead, Yoongi took a look at the time. Only 16:47. Still way too early to ask to leave. He groaned in annoyance and started quickly checking the chapter, hastily scrolling down the fourty-so papers he'd edited and reading.

The story was fairly complex, filled with dark subtones and with already this chapter, there had been two twists. Though, despite that, the story, through this chapter at least, still seemed unnaturally stable. Nothing was confusing or incomprehensible. The art was fairly nice too, complimenting the way the author had planned the layout for how the panels should be set. Yoongi sighed, bored and hastily trying to look for something that could keep his mind off of the morning again.  

Just in search of something to do, he checked the author's name. JB. _Wasn't he the one that was going to do the upcoming collab with Taehyung?_ Yoongi absentmindedly thought, deciding to do something productive and start proofreading for real. 

He corrected some misspellings and added some sfx that he'd missed, checking the transcript again before saving the project. He was done with the chapter. 

"Hey, Yoon-ah?" His manager suddenly called out to him, gaining his attention.

"Yes, Manager?"

She came over to him, taking a look at his work and studying it. She nodded, putting her hand to her chin. "That's good, you can go."

Yoongi's face lit up. He could go already? "Really? It's still quite early, Manager."

"Well, there's not really much work coming in right now, since most of the authors are taking a break or vacation. That time of the year, you know?" His manager mused, before frowning. "...And, most of the authors here are resorting to webtoons. No reason to keep the workers here if there's no work for em' to work with."

"Well, not everyone can afford producing actual magazines, Manager." Yoongi muttered, gathering his things. His manager was mumbling some more things before she left him alone, going off to do manager work or whatever she had in stock to do. Yoongi didn't bother wondering what. 

He made quick work of leaving his workplace, breathing in a fresh breath of relief when he went outside. Off work. Early. _With nothing to do_.

Yoongi sighed, feeling the downputting feelings crawl back again. The memories of the morning were infiltrating his mind again. He didn't want to go home. Not now. Not yet. Instead, he let his feet take him elsewhere, to another part of town. It was a more chill place, not really that much traffic, leaving the roads empty and allowing more grass, flowers and greenity to grow around the sidewalks, and the schools here were rumored to be good. No reported gangs either, though, there weren't much of those around anyways. 

Yoongi walked around for a bit, admiring the beauty of it all. This part of town was made up of many, many buildings tightly packed together, and even though there weren't that many houses or old buildings, everything still being very modern, it still gave of a 'rural town' feeling, like it was a whole other city set in the countryside. There were a lot of school kids loitering around, a few groups packed around vending machines. A lone girl was picking dandelions that were growing on the sidewalk. 

Everything around here just felt very... human. 

Yoongi strolled through the blocks and streets as he eyed all of the small shops that littered every corner, alleyway and building, searching for one in particular. As he walked down one street, he stopped, having arrived at the place he'd searched for. A small café sitting in a corner between all of the apartment buildings. More specifically, the café that Jungkook worked at.

Yoongi walked inside, listening to the chiming bell from the door, and it was like that familiar ringing noise brought away all of the bad thoughts and feelings in him, making him relax completely. The smell of bread, pastries and coffee hit his nose, Yoongi humming pleasantly.

There was only three or four people inside of the café, and one person at the counter, talking with the one who was on standby. Hushed, aggressive bickering was exchanged between the two, and it took Yoongi two whole seconds to realize that the two people subtly fighting at the counter were Jungkook and Taehyung. Yoongi let out a few huffs of laughter, walking over to them. They didn't notice him, too caught up in their talk. Yoongi studied them, noticing the blush spread across Jungkook's cheeks. Yoongi raised his eyebrows.

"Finally confessing undying your love for each other?"

Both of them jumped, Taehyung whipping around. 

"Yoongi-Hyung!"

"Hyung!"

Both of their eyes shone up, and a smile broke out on their faces. The atmosphere immediately became light and comfortable. 

"Yoongi-Hyung, you're here! We were so worried about you, you haven't contacted us at all!" Jungkook exclaimed.

"Yeah, _please_ come back to us, Namjoon is so goddamn annoying, he's always worrying too god damn much and he's starting to pull his hair out again, and Hoseok keeps thinking that everything's his fault and he won't stop _bitching_." Taehyung groaned, and Yoongi looked at them apologetically. 

"Yeah, sorry. There has been some really weird things with... _Jimin_ , and so on, you know?"

Jungkook smiled at him, but there was some kind of confusion behind his eyes. He probably didn't know that Jimin was staying at his. "I understand, he was kind of strange at the hotel too. We all decided on to not call you, either, so you could have your space and so on. What happened was a little... weird, and fast, and probably hard."

Yoongi shrugged, showing him a smile. "It's fine now. Jus' workin' on some things, you know?"

Watching both of them nod in understanding, Yoongi pondered.

"So, what were you guys talkin' about? You had a pretty interesting look on your face, Jungkook." He asked, Jungkook's face suddenly regaining the blush and Taehyung's eyes lighting up. _Did I make a mistake...?_ Taehyung turned back to Jungkook, an excited smile etched onto his facial feartues.

"Oh yeah... as I was saying--"

Jungkook quickly covered his mouth, sending a deathly glare Taehyung's way, before switching to Yoongi with a desperate, pleading look in his eyes. He gestured frantically towards Taehyung, talking fast and in a distressed manner. "And on _that_ topic, please help me Yoongi-Hyung. Please, _please_ shut Tae up! He's talking about all of his sex scenes that he's planning on making and won't shut the fuck up, and I'm at work! Please, kill him or something!"

"You should just be a better friend and sit down and listen! We all need to get things off our chests!"

"I'm at fuckin' work, if you haven't noticed or you're just blind." Jungkook hissed back, and just as he was about to raise his voice a bit, another person stepped behind the counter. It was a woman, wearing a simple apron, but still having a strong sense of authority. She put on a stern face.

"Jungkook-ah, no squabbling with the customers! Get back to work!" 

Jungkook paused for a moment, biting his lip. "...Yes, Boss."

Taehyung turned to Yoongi, wearing a victorious smile on his lips. He winked. "He's just afraid I'll pull out my Nokia again."

"Or, better yet, it's _totally_ not because I don't want to get fucking fired." Jungkook retorted under his breath, heaving a sigh and looking at Yoongi. "Sorry, Yoongi-Hyung, you probably didn't come here just to hear us arguing like that. Can I get you something?"

"Ah, just the usual."

Jungkook nodded, smiling brightly at him. "Right."

Yoongi chose a table to sit by, Taehyung following him to it. He plopped himself down on the chair opposite of the one Yoongi sat down on, exhaling loudly and looking up at the ceiling while leaning backwards and tipping the chair back and forth.

"Man, Hyung... you know, I never expected to see you here." Taehyung mused, playing with his hair and swirling the strands around his finger. "Been kinda missing you. I was surprised when I heard you just bailed on us. Somethin' happened? You can talk to me, so you know. I'm not that shallow and oblivious, ya hear?"

Yoongi sighed, averting his eyes. _Taehyung, Taehyung, ever so weirdly wise, in some strange, twisted way_. He always managed to amaze Yoongi with his nearly complete 180 turns.

"Well, for one, nothing happened. I just felt that... I didn't have anything left to do there, so I went. And above that, Jimin has been acting weird, but I guess I'm getting by."

"Not closing out your feelings, then?" Taehyung raised his brows, causing Yoongi to groan, feeling as if he was caught red handed. He pushed down the slight shame that threatened to bubble up.

"We've been friends for too long, you know me too well."

"Touché." Taehyung leaned back, causing the chair to fall forward, the front legs hitting the floor quite loudly. He glanced at Yoongi. "Speakin' of, you didn't cut contact with Jimin? I mean, I heard he went after you when you went but I don't know what happened. So... you mind telling me?"

"Well..." Yoongi bit his lip, pondering over what to say. In the end he decided to just be blunt. "Jimin has been staying over at mine."

Taehyung raised his eyebrows, looking at Yoongi with a suspicious look in his eyes.

"Really?"

"Pretty sure."

"Hooo boy." Taehyung leaned backwards on the chair again, stretching his arms over his head like a cat. "Are you really sure you're holding up? How did he get into your house this fast, man?"

"He, uh..." Yoongi trailed off. "...Lost his keys."

" _Lost_ his _keys_?" Taehyung raised his eyebrows once again, squinting at him. Yoongi shifted uncomfortably. 

"Well... yeah. I mean, shit happens."

"Sure." Taehyung swatted the air with his hands. " _Or_... it could've been _intentional_."

"Oh come on." Yoongi groaned. "You've been reading one too many crime series."

"Hmmm. Do you think you really know Jimin? Like, really, _truly_ know?"

Taehyung pinned him with his gaze, studying Yoongi so meticulously it was almost as if he could read his mind, and it put Yoongi on edge. 

"I mean, uh..." Yoongi lost his trail, a thousand words sitting on his tongue, all of them wanting out. His throat felt clogged up. "I... don't know."

"Well, well..." Taehyung bit the nail of his thumb. "How... _interesting_."

"Agh, fuck!" Yoongi groaned, slapping his head. "Don't scare me! Me and Jimin have only known each other for a few years, of course I can't know everything about him!"

Taehyung shrugged, closing his eyes and putting his thumb to his lips. A deaf silence permeated the air before he spoke up again.

"Well. The point is that you're here now, I guess."

Yoongi sighed in slight relief as he saw Jungkook approaching with a tray in one hand, containing a pearly white cup with hot smoke puffing out of it like a chimney full of bitter goodness. Savior.

"Here you are." Jungkook said, putting the tray on Yoongi's side of the table. He eyed the coffee served to him, his favorite kind of coffee; black and rich. Jungkook flashed him a smile and bowed. "Thanks for coming here again. The coffee's on the house."

"Aish, it's fine already. Thank you for serving me."

"Yes, yes, all that's incredibly nice, but where's my stuff?" Taehyung waved with his hand in front of Jungkook's face to get his attention, who narrowed his eyes at him. 

" _Your_ stuff?" He crossed his arms, glaring him down. "If didn't know, you didn't order anything, Taehyung."

"Now I am." Taehyung decided, putting up two of his fingers and swinging them around. "Two sugar pumpkin breads with vanilla sauce and extra cream. Oh, and some cinnamon hot chocolate. With marshmallows and cream. Lots of cream."

Just as Jungkook was about to scowl at him, Taehyung put his hand up, effectively interrupting Jungkook.

" _And_ , if that's too bothersome for you, then I'll treat you to a meal later. After work? Whenever you want?"

Jungkook huffed, rolling his eyes. It was clear he'd given in already. " _Fine_ , fucker. But your orders _won't_ be on the house."

"Now, is that any way to treat your valuable customer?"

"You? _Valuable customer_? Sorry, but those two words _do not_ go together. The quality of the work atmosphere would be increased tenfold without you here thank you very much, I'd be jumping with fucking joy." Jungkook snarled at him, secretly flipping Taehyung the bird when the other stuck out his tongue at him. Jungkook groaned loudly, ambling away to get Taehyung his orders. 

"Was kinda harsh, wasn't it, eh?"

"Just so you know, I'm not the guy to ask about relationship tips." 

Taehyung fixed him with a harsh gaze, and Yoongi zipped his mouth shut. He felt slightly guilty, biting the inside of his cheek.

"Sorry." He quickly mumbled. 

"Aish," Taehyung waved his hand around dismissively. "S' fine. Why'd y'all believe that we're a thing, anyways? It's not like we're holding hands, walking in flower fields or anything."

 _Is he really asking that?_ Yoongi raised his eyebrows at him, taking a sip of his dark coffee, feeling the taste spread across his tongue. He shook his head, chasing away all the traces of the bad feelings from before.

"Hm. I wonder why."

"Hyuuung... come on. Tell me, I'm actually really curious about this."

"How dangerous." Yoongi took another sip of his coffee, humming in approval of it. He gathered himself, pointing at Taehyung with his spoon. "Let me be straight with you. We all think you two are dating, because honestly? You look like an old fuckin' married couple."

Taehyung seemed to ponder over his answer extremely intricately, not even batting an eye to Jungkook as he served him his desserts who muttered his irritations underneath his breath. After chattering away for a while, Yoongi quickly finished his coffee, leaving Taehyung alone in the café with his desserts.

He was more than ready to go home now. Somehow, his mood did a complete 180. He was good now. He _wanted_ to go home. 

Yoongi took the bus with a good feeling sitting on his shoulders.

 

*

 

_A bit later..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

Jimin lifted his head from his pillows, reaching for his phone, the illuminating light blinding him.

 _28 missed calls_.

Most of them from Seokjin. Others from Taehyung. Some from Jungkook. The least from Namjoon and Hoseok, and a single one from Yoongi. Jimin's thumb hovered over the 'call back' button, before he lazily tossed the phone back onto the drawer beside the bed. 

He didn't have any energy to do anything right now. He wanted to just lay there and fall asleep. But he couldn't. He couldn't get a wink of sleep, even when having laid in bed for over three hours. He had tried everything to get himself tired. He'd tried working out, even with the wounds, although which were healing. He'd made food. He'd watched over twenty videos, two movies and watched over half a twenty-four episode series. Most at the same time, even. 

He sighed, sitting up and grabbing his phone again, scrolling down his social media feeds. Boring. Boring, boring, boring. 

Jimin restlessly paced around the room with crossed arms, tapping his elbow. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to let go just yet. He wanted to do more. _So much more_. He rummaged around inside of his pile of borrowed clothes, hand closing around a bundle of metallic, cold objects. He pulled out the keys, pondering to himself. 

_What can I do...? What can I do to solve this... Agh, I can't do anything, Yoongi wants me gone anyhow. Ugh. Why does he want me gone? Haven't I been good? Am I still not good enough? How can I be good enough?_

Jimin jumped as he heard the jostle of keys in the lock outside of the entry door, quickly shoving the keys into the pocket of one of his pants. He rigidly stood up, stumbling back onto the bed. Jimin heard Yoongi step through the door, rustling with his clothes and humming on a song. He didn't announce his entry for Jimin, he didn't greet him from the doorway, he didn't ask for him.

Jimin felt his stomach sink.

A few more steps echoed throughout the apartment, Jimin hearing Yoongi let out a surprised sound. 

"You made food, Jimin?" 

Jimin didn't answer. 

"Jimin, you sleeping?"

Jimin debated answering.

"No, just woke up." Jimin said, trotting out of the room and into the kitchen. Yoongi stood by the counter, studying the food Jimin had made. Simple fried salmon and rice. He turned around to face him, giving him a smile. Jimin's heart ached. 

"Still tired? You were acting strange this morning."

"No, it was nothing, Yoongi Hyung." Jimin tried to offer him a smile of his own, but as he was trying his best to tug on the corners of his lips, something just snapped. He's sure it looked weird. Yoongi gave him a strange look, his smile still on his face with his eyebrows furrowed. It looked slightly pitying. 

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Yoongi sighed, moving to pat Jimin's shoulder. An urge to lean into the touch came over him along with a shiver passing through his body. 

"If you have anything on your shoulders, you can come tell me, okay Jimin?"

He nodded, feeling his mood turn a bit lighter. He managed a small smile, which was returned by Yoongi. Afterwards, he started putting food on his plate and thanked Jimin for making it. They lapsed into a moment of silence, Jimin grabbing his own serving and both of them moving towards the table. 

Yoongi hummed all the while, looking slightly excited for something. Jimin bit his lip, observing the other.  _He seems to be in a really good mood, huh? I wonder why..._

While the now quite paranoid Jimin thought up of all the possibilities of why Yoongi was particularly happy, Yoongi broke the long kept silence. 

He looked up at Jimin, with those glimmering joyous eyes and pretty gummy smile.

"Ah, anyways, is the new key done?"

Jimin felt his emotions make a complete stop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit lighter stuff in the middle, quite refreshing to write. I hope you enjoyed reading!


	10. Dark storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished it fast boi

_Right then..._

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

"Are the new keys finished yet?"

Of course.

Of course this just had to happen, at the worst possible time. Yoongi hates him. He doesn't want him there anymore. Jimin thought as if he already didn't know the answer.

"I don't know. Haven't really checked." Jimin looked at Yoongi with empty eyes, which caught him off guard.

"You really want me out of your apartment that fast, huh?"

"Ugh - fuck, you know that wasn't what I meant, Jimin." Yoongi said defensively, but the initial shock was still clearly visible on his face. Jimin could see the other's mood quickly decreasing into something else. The happy glimmer from his eyes disappeared, his face wearing an expression of confusion and shock pain. 

Jimin sighed, feelings of hurt making grabs at him.

"It's fine, you know? I understand." He said with a slight hint of mockery in his voice. "I just wanted to comfort you, Yoongi."

It was escalating. It was all escalating too quickly.

"Comfort me?" Yoongi said aggressively, suddenly standing up, almost knocking his chair back. Something clicked in his eyes, his fists clenching as he stared Jimin down. "Really? You haven't done anything to comfort me! In any way at all! What the hell is up with you? You've been acting strange."

"Well, is it any weird for me to act strange?" Jimin stood up as well. "You always whine about when I will leave your apartment, how do you think that makes me feel?"

" _Whine_!? I didn't whine, I was just goddamn fucking _wondering_! It's not - It's not my fault that you took it that way." Yoongi lost his voice for a moment, clutching his throat. "You can't stay here forever."

And Jimin knows that. Jimin knows that so well. But it still shoots a pang of pain into him, spreading down to his fingertips. He doesn't want to go. He _wants_ to stay here forever. But he can't. Nothing ever stays forever. Jimin sighed, averting his eyes and taping his mouth shut. 

"Jimin. You need to go."

"Don't say that to me!"

"Jimin!"

Jimin sucked in a breath. He felt small. A thick bubble blocked his throat, expanding with every word, hurting him and suffocating him.

"You've been staying here for what now, two weeks?" Yoongi strained to calm down. "I need some time for myself too."

"Let me comfort you -"

"No, Jimin!"

"I can! You don't know what you're talking about, I know you!"

Yoongi stilled. His eyes stared at him, wide, in disbelief. His body was rigid, hands still in the form of fists and his jaw shut tightly. Jimin brushed off all the feelings of guilt and regret, trying to convince himself that he didn't need to worry about what he just said. An uncomfortable silence ticked away like a time bomb. Jimin willed himself not to break out in a sweat. He just waited. After for what felt like an eternity, Yoongi took a deep, shuddering breath.

" _Me_? _I_ don't know what I'm talking about? _You_ don't fucking know what you're _goddamn talking about_ , Jimin."

Yoongi snapped his fists down onto the table, a loud slam echoing throughout the apartment. Jimin flinched, a distant sound of clanging and rustling appearing in his ears for just a moment.

" _You_ don't fucking speak for me! You don't know shit Jimin! You've had two whole weeks on you to comfort me, if you really wanted to, but all you've been doing is laying around, idly just giving me company. I've wanted to be alone too. I've wanted to just be the only one in the apartment _too_." Yoongi exhaled shakily, closing his eyes and pressing his lips into a tight line.

"But I _chose_ to take care of you because you - you were bruised, and you'd lost your keys and - and you were desperate! I could see it in your eyes, I wanted to help, but I couldn't, I can't right now! And _you_ , you're definitely not fucking helping me! Don't go parading around here saying that you will comfort me, you've helped me, that you _can_ do it, _will_ do it and so on, and it's always just about _you_ , isn't it? _You_ helping me. _You_ making me feel better. But have you ever thought about how _I_ feel about this? All of this... this fucking _bullshit_!? It's only you, you, you! Pull your head out of your fucking ass! 'Helping me', what a _joke_ , you haven't helped me one fucking bit, you- you fucking --"

Yoongi paused, afraid to speak any more, afraid of what he'd say. He averted his eyes, turning his head, scowling. They fell into another lapse of quiet. Yoongi sucked in a breath. Exhaled. Breathed in deep again. 

"Sorry."

Jimin didn't say anything. He only looked vapidly at Yoongi, face blank and unreadable. He couldn't feel anything. Nothing. His whole body felt numb. Numb, numb, _numb_. The time went by, no one saying anything, silence weighing on their shoulders and threatening to break them, to break them under all of the weight and emotions.

"You will leave tomorrow Jimin. When I'm back from work you have to be gone." Yoongi stated after a while, finally looking up at him. " _Please_."

Jimin sucked in a deep breath. _What if I don't? What if I stay here? What are you going to do?_

"Alright."

They didn't say anything else. Jimin didn't bother with eating anything. He went into Yoongi's room, closing the door quietly behind him. It was all coming back to him. Crashing over him like a tidal wave, emotions washing over him, dragging him down into the endless sea of darkness and sadness and regret and suffocating him, drowning him and crushing him underneath all of the pressure. Jimin closed his eyes, letting out a shaky breath.

He'd promised himself already that he wasn't going to be like this. Sad and regretful and drowning in all of his feelings until he couldn't move anymore. He didn't need it, he didn't want it all, not after his parents. Not after them.

But right now, he couldn't help it. He couldn't help the hot, wet tears pushing over the boundaries, breaking the surface and rolling down his reddened cheeks at the realization that he'd fucked up. That he'd really fucked it all up. And he thought, _it's been a while since I've felt like this. Since I've felt so... human_. It's almost like Jimin had forgotten how it was, being vulnerable and weak, abandoning it for something more favorable, something that'd let him live without any regrets - _any feelings,_ and it was almost comfortable, knowing that he still could feel like this, even though it was tiring, even though it was exhausting. And Jimin knew he couldn't stay like this.

But then Yoongi'd come along, being there like he'd always been and Jimin was just so _taken_.

But, even when he'd come into Jimin's life, he'd long forgotten how to go back.

Two stark different forces coexisting was not an option. His mask of indifference and apathy was quickly being teared down by his love for the other, so instead of one of them winning, they merged into a hardened shield of ignorance and obsession. Jimin knew that. But he thought it was fine, because _he_ was fine, he was still _fine_ even though he was like this. 

_"- But have you ever thought about how I feel about this?"_

Jimin's grip tightened. _Why was he realizing all this now? Why couldn't he have gone back? Why couldn't he have done it differently?_  Jimin doesn't want this. Never wanted this. Yet, he got himself into this situation. Regret, regret, regret, so much fucking _regret_. He regretted and regretted and regretted and Jimin didn't want to regret anymore. He wanted to go back, to when he didn't feel anything. Being numb was much better than this. _Than hurting like this_.

Jimin wiped his tears away. He clenched his fists, nails digging into his skin. He didn't dare let out a sound. Not one. 

He silently stood up in the darkness, collecting his clothes, shaking out his keys of his pocket and dressing yet again. He felt around for a bag, found one and put in all of his few belongings. Wallet, clothes, and his spare charger. He slipped his phone into his pants' pocket. He didn't have anything more. He took a deep breath. 

_It's time to leave this behind._

Behind, behind, behind. Behind forever. He wouldn't look back. He'd never come back.

Jimin took another deep breath. He was ready. He was not. But he had to be.

He shook his head. He was thinking like how he used to. Like the 'him' that Jimin had worked so, so hard to lock away, lock up behind walls and doors with thousands of locks. He needed to go back. Not back to _that_. Back to thinking the other way. 

Jimin silently slinked out of the room, putting his feet into his shoes. 

"Where are you going?" Yoongi's tired voice came from behind him, and Jimin willed himself not to jump or flinch. He didn't look at Yoongi as he held up the plastic bag holding his belongings.

"Just going to throw some trash. Need a breather. I'll be back." _He wouldn't. He wouldn't be back._

Yoongi nodded, and Jimin went out of the door.

That was the last of Jimin that Yoongi would see for a long, long time. 

 

*

  _A few days later..._

 

**Jungkook's POV**

 

The familiar sound of the bell ringing brought Jungkook's head up to look at the door. That, and that it was only nine minutes left until they had to close the café - it was already dark outside. A sluggish, tired and hunched over form stumbled into the establishment, wobbling to one of the tables. He seemed drunk.

Jungkook sighed, leaving the counter he was cleaning in favor for their customer. It was only when he'd come closer that he noticed that that person was none other than Yoongi.

"Yoongi-Hyung?" He said softly. He didn't look up at him, eyes trained on the table and Jungkook knew, he knew immediately that something was wrong. He decidedly stopped himself from reminding him that they were going to close soon. "Would you like something?"

This time, Yoongi looked up at him. He looked tired, purple bags under his eyes and sickly pale skin, hair sticking out in the weirdest of places. He hummed for a while, seemingly thinking to himself.

"Are you... uh. Drunk, Hyung?"

"No." Came the immediate answer, and from the tone of his voice, Jungkook knew that he was speaking the truth. "Just kind of tired. Got a bit of a scare from Jimin a few days ago, and now we're not really on good terms. Work has been a bitch as well, and I'm not really getting much sleep. I'm just..." He paused, closing his eyes and exhaling roughly. "Tired."

Jungkook just nodded. "Then you should sleep. You can sleep here."

Yoongi chuckled. "No thanks-"

"There's a bedroom here, you know? Actually, two. One is for boss, and the other is for emergency situations. You could stay here. I'll also be here."

Yoongi sighed, looking up at him with a lazy smile. "You're not gonna let me leave anyhow."

"Yes." Jungkook answered. "You can go back when you wake up. Just stay here, I think you need it. Ah, would you still like anything?"

"The usual coffee and some strawberry shortcake."

"Strawberry shortcake is Taehyung's favorite." Jungkook said as he scrunched his nose. "Pick something else. And I won't give you coffee, you've gotta sleep later Hyung."

"Fine, fine, go ahead and save some for him then. I'll take the wheat cake instead. With cream, please." 

Jungkook ignored his first comment, nodding. "You're feeling quite sweet today, then. You never pick sweet things like this."

Yoongi didn't answer, looking outside of the window. Jungkook sighed, pushing his hands into his uniform pockets. "I'll be back shortly with your order."

And he went. 

He told his manager about everything, she agreed easily and even said she'd take the hotel just outside instead so that they could relax a bit. Jungkook was more than thankful. He quickly whipped up some cream and prepared a plate with the dessert, adding a long glass with milk, and then brought it out to Yoongi. Thankfully, he hadn't fled.

"Here."

Jungkook put down the plate on the round table. Yoongi thanked him, taking up the spoon and digging in, eating with a newfound fervor. Jungkook smiled gently, dragging another chair to the table and sitting himself down, pushing his elbows onto the table. 

"So, what happened?"

"Just... things." Came his answer, and Jungkook narrowed his eyes at him. Of course Yoongi was going to be beating around the bush. _This was going to take a while_ , Jungkook sighed in his head. 

"Where's Jimin right now?" Jungkook tried instead, hoping for an answer he could ground himself on. Yoongi was silent, lips in a straight line. His eyes swiped briefly to Jungkook, meeting his own, before averting back to the window again, taking a breath and sighing it out.

"...Gone."

"Gone?"

Yoongi was quiet for a while again. "Yeah. He's been... uh. Staying at mine for a few weeks. I told him to leave because I needed to be alone and he left. Dunno where he is right now."

"Oh, _Yoongi_."

"Mistake?"

"No. Of course not." Jungkook stated, trying to catch Yoongi's gaze. "It's not wrong to want to be alone."

"You're too wise for your own age. Stop it." Yoongi grumbled, but Jungkook didn't laugh, like he would've if the circumstances were not these. Jungkook was smarter than that. He paused for himself, debating his next words carefully. He couldn't ask about what happened. Not yet. Not now. After a while of bated breath, he finally asked,

"...Are you worried? About him?"

Yoongi went silent again, sipping some of his milk. He took a bite. And another one. Jungkook hoped, hoped hoped _hoped_ , for an eventual answer, and so he waited patiently for it. Yoongi's eyes flitted up to his, and for once, the gaze held. For a few moments, then a minute, and then Yoongi finally opened his mouth.

"I don't know." 

Jungkook nodded. Now came the rambling, and Jungkook could take it. He would take it. 

"I just don't know. I don't know what I feel, how I'm supposed to feel and what I shouldn't. I just can't figure it out." Yoongi took a deep, shaky breath. "I'm just so confused. I told him to leave, and he didn't... he just didn't do anything. He just left. He left the same night I told him and I was just... confused. I don't know. It was too sudden."

Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Damnit. I shouldn't be goddamn telling you about this."

"It's fine." Jungkook offered him a reassuring look. He took a deep breath himself, hoping that he didn't take the wrong step. "Talk to me Yoongi-Hyung." He paused. "What happened? _Really?_ "

"So much. Many things."

"Tell."

Yoongi pushed the plate away, hugging his form with them instead and closing his eyes. "Jimin came to me that day, hurt and without the keys to his apartment just when I came home. I was in shambles and I didn't know what to do, so I just - I just let him in and then he started living there and it went on for a few weeks. It was fine. But I wasn't. He was fine but I wasn't at all and I felt like I was fine but I fucking wasn't. I was just feeling happy because I was goddamn pushing down the other feelings and - and I-I just... snapped. I don't know. Jimin pissed me off. He really fucking pissed me off. And I just... I just took it. I took the chance, and I told him to leave me alone because I _knew_ I needed it, I knew I fucking did and that I had to make sacrifices for it."

Yoongi breathed shakily, voice trembling slightly.

"I wanted to make myself better. I was finally, _finally_  fucking free that goddamn obsession with Hoseok from before, but I didn't even have the time feel sad about it, to feel regret or anger like I would've, _could've_ , before Jimin came and I just _couldn't._ When I'd calmed down I decided that I would try my best to better myself, after _all_ of those goddamn _years_ , to take chances I didn't have before and just... just f-feel _better_. Because I _wasn't_. I wasn't fucking feeling good, hadn't for two years. And I just, I just knew that it was right for me to do that, to just... take the chance, take the chance to make myself feel better."

"And I feel fucking bad. I feel selfish and bad and worse than a fucking murderer but I know it was good. For _me_. Jimin didn't care about _me_ when he told me he'd help me. Because he didn't - he didn't and I-I felt so fucking goddamn betrayed and I knew I couldn't feel good with him around me at that moment. I told him that he was selfish and didn't think about me, that it was only about him but it's like I'm the same. But... but it was _destroying_ me and - and I didn't want. I just didn't want it anymore. I wanted to feel good. But..."

Yoongi's breath hitched.

"Doesn't that make me the exact same as him? Was he really so wrong? Was I wrong? Was I wrong all of this time?"

"No." Jungkook didn't hesitate to answer. "No, it doesn't."

"Then what? What does it make me?" Yoongi snarled at him, eyes still closed. Jungkook bit his lip, thinking about the answer. But the impatient look on Yoongi's face had him in a hurry.

"I... don't know."

Yoongi let out a cold, humorless laugh, picking up his spoon and shoving it into his cake. "Well. Look at that."

" _Yoongi_." A warning.

"Jungkook, thanks for today." He said, not looking at him. "I really appreciate what you're willing to do for me. But please. I just..."

Hearing him trailing off, Jungkook took his chance. "Just be here, for fuck's sake Hyung. I can't really piece together what happened fully, but stay here. Don't go home. Let's talk it out."

"I don't wanna burden you-"

"You're not." Jungkook said quickly. "You're not burdening me. How would talking to me be burdening me? You're just being stupid and skittish and stupid and you need someone to talk to, and I don't mind, you know? I really don't."

Yoongi went quiet, and Jungkook narrowed his eyes.

"You're fucking stupid, Hyung."

"I know."

"Pull your head out of your ass."

"..."

"But don't do it just by yourself. You have me, Seokjin-Hyung, Namjoon-Hyung, _Tae_ , maybe even Hoseok-Hyung. _Talk to us._ Don't break all by yourself." Yoongi was still quiet as he spoke, seemingly finding the world outside of the window very interesting. "I think you should take a break from Jimin for a while. We'll... we'll figure something out."

"I don't want to involve you in this."

"For god's fucking goddamn hellish sake Hyung! You're my friend, our friend, of course, of _fucking_ course we'd help you! I know... I know that I haven't known you for as long as everyone else, but - but I still _care_ about you. I care about you, Yoongi-Hyung!"

Yoongi sighed, now meeting Jungkook's eyes, although shyly. The faintest curls of a fond smile tugged at his lips. Tired? _Exhausted_? Yes, very. But genuine. It was a genuine smile, something Jungkook was relieved to see.

"Thank you."

Jungkook grinned at him. "Always, Hyung."

He stood up, wishing Yoongi to enjoy his meal before retaking his place at the counter. After that, time passed gently. Yoongi finished his cake, he helped Jungkook wash all of the dishes and then they made home for the night. Jungkook made a bed for himself on the floor, Yoongi plopping down on the bed, and soon, it was dark in the room with the both of them laying in their sheets, a comfortable silence sweeping over After a while, amidst the darkness, Yoongi spoke up.

"Yeah." He began, voice a whisper. "I'm worried about him."

"I think I noticed. What are you gonna do about it?"

"I don't know. I'm just..." A deep sigh. "Confused. I don't think I should be feeling like this after what happened."

"And? Is it wrong of you to feel what you feel, Hyung?"

A silent pause, before he continued. "Perhaps. Perhaps not. I have no idea."

Another pause. This time it as Jungkook's turn to take a sigh. He braced himself. "Well. What do you want then? What do you wish to... be?"

"What I want the most right now..." Yoongi trailed off, Jungkook waiting patiently for his answer. "Is probably to have a clear picture. I hate being confused. I just want this to be over and sorted with. It's like I just crawled out of the hellhole that was the previous disaster and when I'd just taken the first step, I fell into another hellhole. Out of the ashes and into the fire, I guess."

"It'll get better."

"Very assuring. There's no way you can predict that."

"What do you think then? What will happen?"

Yoongi went quiet, shifting in his sheets. 

"I don't know. There's just so much going on and I haven't had a chance to relax about all of this. I'm always just thinking. Thinking and thinking and thinking about all kinds of unnecessary shit, worrying and feeling bad and just... I don't know. I'm just so perplexed it's not even funny." A rough groan of annoyance echoed throughout the room. "I want a drink. I feel like just drowning in alchohol and just drinking away the problems."

Jungkook shook his head softly in the darkness, even though he knew that Yoongi couldn't see him.

"Drinking will only cause more problems."

"I know. I know." Yoongi let out a shaky exhale. "I just want to have a distraction."

"Well..." Jungkook started. "How about going somewhere? I can invite all the Hyungs you want to come and we can all go somewhere. Just to get your mind off of things."

"Yeah... maybe."

And at that 'maybe' was where the conversation ended. No more words were needed as Jungkook listened to Yoongi's breath slowly became more languid, until light snores filled the room. All Jungkook was do was wish. Wish for his happiness and wish for his bettering process. Wish for both Jimin and Yoongi, and wish that wherever Jimin was, that he was well. Wish and wish and wish. 

And even though Jungkook knew that he couldn't do any more, it didn't stop him from wishing he could.


	11. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter!
> 
> Have been busy with some stuff lately.

**Seokjin's POV**

 

_Somewhere at some time..._

 

Seokjin knew something the other's didn't. He knew a secret. A secret that only he, Hoseok and Jimin knew. A secret that he'd swore he'd keep under wraps. A secret that he'd swore wouldn't be told no matter what. And he wasn't intending on telling, either, but when he'd heard about the situation from Jungkook, he'd felt almost pressured to tell. Tell Yoongi and save him. Or tell him and send him back into another hell. A place that he'd been far too many times, far too many times to count and far too many times to have left him a whole person. 

It was Pandoras box and Seokjin refused to take chances. 

But it seemed hopeless at this point. Jimin had destroyed what little chance he had with Yoongi, and now he'd disappeard off of the face of the earth. He wasn't answering calls or reading messages, and Seokjin would be lying if he said that he wasn't at least a bit worried about him. Okay, he was. He was worried about him. 

And not acting in response to this would be stupid. Seokjin knew the power he had. He knew what he could do with words and contacts and he knew the influence he had over the others. Hell, he had a whole army of fangirls to send after Jimin if he wanted to. But he wouldn't. He wouldn't do that to him. Instead, Seokjin would let him off easy, with a two slaps against the cheeks and one upside the head, and some delicious yelling and maybe some more smacking sense into. Seokjin would find him. He would no matter what, and no matter what, he would try his best to help them restore what had been broken. 

But, as in everything, even with his bright and shining confidence, Seokjin also had his doubtful side. He knew better than anyone that without both parties being willing to restore, no restoring would be happening. Worst comes to worst, their already broken relationship would be falling into shambles.

And Seokjin would also be lying if he said that a small part of him (Okay, a pretty big part of him) wanted to just leave it all be and let Jimin and Yoongi suffer for their stupid dumbass mistakes. Because they were. They were goddamn fucking stupid, and sometimes, people need to learn the hard way.

But, as with telling a secret, Seokjin also knew that it was like opening Pandoras box all the same with letting a situation be and actually intervening. And just like before as well, Seokjin refused to take any chances. 

In short, Seokjin, as of now, was at a loss of what to do.

He _could_ tell, pandoras box, _could_ let the situation unfold by itself, pandoras box, and he _could_ just whisper from the sidelines, which could also go either way, _pandoras box_. And all of it left Seokjin frustrated, wishing he'd have more time to think about it. 

But, right now, he was in front of the others, pressured to give an answer on just what to do.

Let's take it all from the beginning. 

Due to the circumstances of the gang's dear friends Yoongi and Jimin, they assembled a meeting between all of the members excluding those two. After day, time and place had been decided they were finally here, talking about how to move forward. Strange? Sure. Creepy? Maybe. But in Seokjin's humble opinion, it was necessary. Crisis needed discussion and something had to be done about this.

But, since Seokjin was basically the only one with any sort of motherly influences over both of them, nobody brought anything to the table. Everything was expected to be brought by Seokjin, and Seokjin alone. So, when all of the piercing gazes were fixed on him and only him, he couldn't help but sweat just a little. 

"And the plan is...?" Hoseok asked with a discernful eye.

Seokjin gave a forced smile, trying to look calm. "Now, now. We all have to come up with it together, now don't we? I'm sure everyone has great ideas. I mean, this is a meeting including _all of us_ , so it shouldn't just be me deciding everything, yes?"

He saw some of the others starting to fidget, and Seokjin had the urge to frown.

"Well, how about this, I'll make a starting layout, and we'll build on it from there." He suggested, and the others nodded eagerly. 

"Alright. So, starting off, according to Jungkook, Yoongi seems to be distressed. He's worried about Jimin - a statement from the man himself, and is incredibly skittish. Moving on to Jimin - his whereabouts are unknown which is a dangerous thing. Currently, we don't know anything about him, or the nitty gritty details about what caused him to leave."

Seokjin put up a finger into the air. "From what Jungkook has gathered, Jimin had been living at Yoongi's for 'A few weeks', and then Yoongi told him to leave because he needed to be alone, and being around Jimin was 'harmful' to him in some way. They started a fight, Jimin left, and bam, here we are. My theory is that 'something' must've occured between them beforehand for Yoongi to want him gone. Though, it's just speculation."

"Now, onto the real thing. The question at hand is - how do we make them make up? My idea is that we talk to them seperately, try to figure things out, help to the best of our abilities until they're both ready for each other. We introduce them back slowly. What we've learned from the Yoongi - Hoseok disaster is forcing them toghether sporadically is not a good way. Yoongi flipped out, though it was all solved in the end, but we still can't afford something like that happening."

"Wait, wasn't it _you_ who did the forced introduction in the Yoongi - Hoseok disaster?" Taehyung leisurely pointed out.

" _Anyways_ , slow introduction and healing, and when they're ready we'll strike while the iron is still hot. Now, layout is complete. Come with ideas for operation." Seokjin finished, waiting expectantly for the others to give their thoughts. They all seemed to think for a while.

"Well, should we make teams for who looks after who?" Jungkook suggested. "Me and Taehyung-Hyung can go after Jimin-Hyung. Hoseok-Hyung should... uh. Probably stay away from him for the time being. Uh, no offense though. Namjoon-Hyung and Seokjin-Hyung can go after Yoongi."

"Well..." Hoseok rubbed his neck. "What should I do then?"

Namjoon pondered over it for a second, before waving his hand into the air. "Let's split it up like this instead. Jungkook-Ah and Taehyung go for Jimin-Ah, me and Hoseok'll go for Yoongi and Seokjin-Hyung will stay keeping lookout. We need someone behind the works. Seokjin-Hyung will be the one who gives out orders indirectly."

"Yeah!" Jungkook agreed. "Hyung can be the one operating right behind the scenes, telling us what to do."

Seokjin thought it over, before nodding. "Alright, that's fine. Then we do like this - any ideas of plans of yours goes straight to me, I'll dissect them and give you either a greenlight or a redlight and refine them a bit. We'll discuss them together before putting them in operation. How's that?"

All of them hummed in agreement, and Seokjin managed a smile. Everyone chatted and chirped in excitement, already coming up with future plans, how-to-go-abouts and more, already in high spirits. The stale and nearly serious atmosphere from before was almost entirely gone. Their plan was forming steadily. 

He just hoped it worked out. 

Seokjin's smile faltered just a little bit.

 

*

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

_Somewhere at some time..._

 

Jimin's hand swept through the cold night air.

Feet balancing right on the edge of a high building, Jimin walked through the darkness. He looked down onto the ground, seemingly endless of meters down. The swindling cars flying by even though it was still night, the thousands of city lights looking up at him and the streets being walked on by the occasional person.

He'd thought about it many times. Just letting go. Jumping. Flying. Crashing. And just... stop. 

Jimin let himself sway a little bit outwards, closing his eyes. He thought about continuing, before dragging himself back. He couldn't. 

Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was afraid of what might happen, what would happen afterwards. What the others would think, and how they'd... _react_. He wondered for a moment about how Yoongi would react. Would he be in tears, eyes red and hands trembling in mourn? Would he scoff and turn away in apathy? Would he pity him, sighing at his actions and leaving a rose, not shedding tears but ceaseless sighs? Jimin couldn't imagine it any longer.

He sucked in a breath, letting his hand cut through the air once more. 

 _The wind feels nice today_ , He thought mindlessly, before stepping down from the threshold. He wondered briefly if anyone saw him up there, but pushed the thought away. _Man. I need a drink._

He went down the building and onto the streets, making his way back home. He walked on the pavement, watched by the countless lights illuminating the surroundings. He passed stores that were already closed, night clubs and bars, but he stopped in front of a particular one. 

It didn't seem especially popular, and there weren't many people you could see through the wall-windows. It was just in the corner of a few apartment buildings. A large crimson sign hung above the doors, letters in neon red strewn across it reading - Red Gold Bar. He pondered over it for a few moments.

Should he drown himself?

He went inside. The bell at the door chimed lighly as he stepped in. The bartender, a handsome young man with short, tufty hair smiled warmly at him, and Jimin felt welcomed. He took a seat, with no one sitting beside him. The bartender greeted him.

"Good evening, young sir. Would you like anything?"

"Any recommendations?" Jimin muttered, not looking the bartender in the eyes. The bartender cocked his head to the side.

"Well, that all depends. May I ask, if you have any particular taste?"

"Not really." He answered honestly. The bartender hummed, seemingly thinking for a while.

"Hm. Well then, may I ask what kind of mood this young sir is in?"

Jimin thought for a while, before answering, unrestrained, "I'm feeling really empty right now."

The bartender chuckled before looking at him with sympathy in his eyes, sympathy that Jimin didn't want. 

"Then, I know just the right thing to make." He started fumbling with a few glasses and drinks. "You're surprisingly honest. Is this your first time coming to a bar, young sir?"

"No. But, it's not like I've been to that many in the first place. It's not really... something I do often."

"Ah, I see. Many come to the bars to drown in drinks because of their problems, so your situation is nothing abnormal. You can just get comfy." The bartender skillfully mixed a few drinks. "What about alchohol? Do you drink a lot at home?"

"Sometimes. Drinking can be nice once in a while, I guess."

"Mm. You still look quite young, sir. You shouldn't overdo it." The bartender pushed a rounded glass towards him with a kind smile on his face, the glass filled with some bright, almost glowing red liquid. There was a cherry dipped on the side. The bartender continued, "It's not good for your health."

"And yet here you are, giving me alchohol to drink." He gave a bitter huff of a laugh, before a rueful smile took over his features. He didn't bother asking for the drink's name as he took a sip. A sweetly strong flavor burst in his mouth, and he felt that the alchohol was good quality.

"Do many people come to this bar?"

"Well, no. But those who do always come to this bar, and this bar only. The people who have tasted our alchohol always come back for more."

Jimin swished his drink. "Hey, what's your name?"

"Hmm." The bartender lowered his voice to a whisper. "Kim Yugyeom. But in here, I'm called Choi Mingyeom, but you can just call me Gyeomi."

An eyebrow raised, Jimin stared at him. "Why'd you tell me?"

Yugyeom smiled sweetly.

"I'm hoping you'll come back." He pulled a note out of his uniform pocket, handing it to him. "My number. I'd like to be... _friends_."

Jimin hesitated, before he reached out to take the paper. He'd be stupid to not catch the Yugeom's drift, but maybe, just maybe he could use it. He downed the whole cup afterwards.

"Ah! Careful! That drink's pretty strong - uh, are you leaving?"

"Yeah." He answered as he stood up, before looking up at Yugyeom. Due to some foreign miracle, he managed one of his usual smiles, his voice light. "I'm Park Jimin. I don't know if I'll call you, but maybe we'll have the chance to talk again."

He turned around and left without any further words.

When he got home that night, he decided to leave the note on the stand in the hallway. He casually went and looked out of one window, half expecting to see a familiar face. When he saw none, he simply just turned off his lights and went to bed, tiredly crashing down. He knew he should work. He knew he had deadlines pressing him. But he couldn't bring himself to care any further.

He just wanted to sleep.

 

*

 

**Yoongi's POV**

 

_The next day..._

 

 

Life went on.

It was really that simple. It had been over two weeks since the incident in which Yoongi kicked Jimin out. Yoongi was made to work overtime even more due to his abscence, he began to chat with Jungkook and Taehyung more often and he spent his days in relaxation. He'd like to tell himself that Jimin was not on his mind that much - he'd convinced himself long ago that he could survive on his own, Yoongi was feeling impeccably light and free. Everything was going perfectly well.

...Until it was not.

Don't get him wrong, Yoongi was fine. He was fine in work, he was fine in socializing and his home hadn't become a mess yet. Things were going smoothly. That is, until - _until_ an... old _friend_ , of sorts, came back to haunt him.

You see, Yoongi had a secret.

In his sleep, wherever and whenever, he'd always go back to that one place. That one _specific_ situation.

He was spread out on his bed, warm mouth on his own, twisting their tongues and pressing against the roof of Yoongi's mouth. Heat rolled over him in waves, the hands skittering down his body, rubbing all around his chest, precisely touching him in all the right areas to draw out his voice, making him want to draw his legs closed. Clothes were ripped off, hands on skin, mouth on skin, Yoongi twisting and writhing around in the other's hands. Voices and slick noises palpable in the room. The sheets getting tangled in Yoongi's grip. Kiss-swollen lips falling open.

Yes. Yes, that is right. After everything that had happened, after all of the anxiety and the stress that could of stuck with him, of all the things that could've followed Yoongi from that dark place; the most prominent one had to be the wet dreams. 

He'd most often have one each night, only a few where he'd be gracefully spared. And, of course, he'd wake up with the following problem.

Yoongi didn't know what was wrong. This had never happened before. Was he just frustrated? Was it because he hadn't 'gotten some' in a while? There was no way he was going to go hunting for it. Yoongi was even considering seeing a doctor about it, if something really was wrong. Were the hormones back? He wasn't a goddamn teenager anymore.

And, it started the circle of thinking of Jimin more. Something Yoongi didn't need.

He remembered the happenings during Jimin's stay, of course he did. Jimin was something Yoongi didn't need his mind on right now. But, that was much, _much_ harder than it looked, seemed or sounded. 

Especially, since the other person haunting every single one of his wet dreams was precisely Jimin.

Yoongi sighed, annoyed and frustrated at his fantasies during night. He was advancing towards his bed, freshly showered and worried. His limit was about to break, his battery was about to overload - He didn't know for how long he could hold on anymore. 

He gingerly went to bed, slouched back and all, taking the time to message Jungkook and Taehyung in their newly created groupchat. 

Laying his head on the pillow, Yoongi tried his best to relax and tell his inner self to not dream about stupid things anymore. He wished, and he prayed, and he closed his eyes. He thought about his friends as he drifted off, sleep bringing him away to someplace else.

Of course, when he 'awoke' again, he quickly realized that he didn't get his wish. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffie. I'll try to get the next chapter done faster.


	12. Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get a bit spicy for the moment

**Yoongi's POV**

 

_In the dream..._

 

Jimin was before him again, hair disheveled, looking at him with hungry eyes and Yoongi took a deep, shuddering breath, willing himself to calm down.

It looked like his wish hadn't worked after all.

They were on the bed, naked, as usual, with Jimin looming over him with his arms on either side of Yoongi, giving him no chance of escape. 

"Hyung." He whispered.

Yoongi let out a huff of breath, getting more comfortable on the bed and turning his head away from the other. He heard a disappointed whine on the other side,

"Hyung. Hyung, won't you look at me?" A pressure on his stomach - Jimin draped himself over the other. "I want you to look at me."

Seeminly realizing that Yoongi wouldn't move his head no matter what, dream Jimin settled for doing other things. He began touching. Hands swimming down Yoongi's sides, the slightest brushes against the inner thighs, the teasing pinching at his chest - not the right places, but the ones that made Yoongi anticipate. But, that was something that he'd never admit, not even to dream Jimin.

Jimin sank his head in between the juncture of Yoongi's neck, breathing in a mouthful of his scent and Yoongi bucked up ever so slightly. He hoped Jimin didn't notice.

"Hyung, how do you wanna do it today?" Yoongi felt his breath against his earlobe, and he couldn't help the tremors that ran through his body. "Yours in me or mine in you?"

Yoongi said something that he himself could not fully hear, it was all a blur, nothing but foggy sound reaching his ears. But, Jimin seemed to have heard it clear as day, as he moved downwards and produced a bottle of lube. Lathering it onto his fingers, Jimin reached down and Yoongi felt the cold digits circle his rim.

Well. Him in me it is then.

As he laid there, getting fingered and whatnot, he could not help but think about the situation.

They say that dreams show your deepest desires. Was this what he wanted? Jimin? Yoongi didn't want to think about it, only focusing on getting lost in the feelings that this dream was giving him. He would allow himself to let go, just this once - he decided.

Jimin thrusted the now two fingers inside him gently - curling them, twisting them before adding another finger, and the stretch burned a little. Yoongi gasped, before he felt another pair of lips envelop his own, greedily swallowing down all of his sounds. He closed his eyes.

The fingers were suddenly out, and then the mouth was gone and Yoongi allowed himself to miss it a little.

The next thing Yoongi felt was Jimin's member slowly pressing in, gently, in such a way that Yoongi imagined Jimin would handle him and he sucked in a breath. It hurt a little - it always does, but it was bearable. Jimin stopped, looking at him tenderly, stroking his forehead, cheeks, chin, and Yoongi relaxed. He closed his eyes, breathing gently before commanding,

"Move."

Jimin started shallowly thrusting, hands softly purchased on his hips. Small gasps and moans left Yoongi, not quite stimulated, and as if Jimin knew exactly what he wanted he sped up. His thrusts became faster and harder, they reached all the right spots and Yoongi was starting to feel good. It was not the kind of overwhelming, drowning pleasure that reality could bring - all of the intense emotions and feelings were absent, yet it was enough for now.

The sounds he let out became louder and the dream became blurrier, he felt hands stroking him everywhere, lips on his skin, on his own mouth, on his fluttering eyes - anywhere he wanted it. The scent of Jimin was everywhere. Yoongi's hands came to his back, stroking, yet it felt like he was hugging air.

Skin on skin sounds were loud in the room, their breathing intermingled, and in the midst of it all they kissed. Yoongi was in a daze. 

It was like all of his other dreams, it was just simple fucking, yet somehow this one felt different. It churned around in Yoongi's stomach and brought up emotions he couldn't identify just yet, and it left him troubled and he didn't bother to wonder why.  

But, what was on his mind was quickly erased once he felt Jimin's dick grind just right against his prostrate, and he let out a loud, breathy moan. Pleasure building up in an inexplicable way, not real and not as intense as in reality though still just enough, Yoongi let go and came over his own stomach, Jimin following shortly after like he always did, coming inside with a strained ' _Hyung_ '. It was quick and the details were blurry, as they always were in dreams. Yoongi knew he would forget most of it later anyways, just remembering that they had sex and whatever else.

Clinging to Jimin's back, Yoongi felt a sudden urge. This time, his emotions were a mess and he couldn't decide on anything. Helplessly clutching at what was empty air in disguise, Yoongi felt that he wanted it to be real.

He sighed into the room full of heat. If he would ever have the chance to say it in the real world, Yoongi thinks he probably wouldn't, so he'll let himself indulge just this once. 

If not to the real Jimin, then maybe this one.

Leaning up closer to Jimin's face, Yoongi buried his own in the other's neck. His hands tightened. He said in a breathy whisper,

"Jimin."

"Yes?"

"You know I... I think, I think I really missed you."

Jimin just smiled at him, smile neither empty nor full.

He woke up feeling inexplicably lonely that morning.

 

*

 

**Jimin's POV**

 

_Sometime later, present moment..._

 

The familiar voice calling his name was unexpected.

Unplanned.

Jimin thought he'd disguised himself well. He looked just like the other pedestrians walking on the pavement, hoodie, cap and jeans and whatnot. He looked just like everyone else, yet he was still noticed. He'd turned around, just to see Jungkook with bright eyes standing right behind him, Taehyung trailing after him - and Jimin immediately broke out into a run.

Knocking into people, store signs and other things, Jimin probably thought he looked like a maniac running for his dear life in the streets. 

He couldn't meet them now. He couldn't, not after what he'd done to Yoongi.

Jimin quickly makes a turn at one of the avenues, sprinting into right into an alley just to be pulled back out by a strong hand, and the light and fresh scent of mint fills his nostrils. _Taehyung_ , he thinks sourly, and Jimin really doesn't want to deal with this right now.

Panting, Jungkook seems to have caught up with all of them, and Jimin finally, after some thought, turns around.

"What?" He asks as coldly as he can manage with a trembling voice, and Taehyung stares him down.

"Hi to you too." He answered.

"We just saw you. I was on my way home from work with Taehyung." Jungkook explained to him while walking up closer, speaking softly. "It's nice to see you again, Hyung."

There's an awkward silence as they look at each other.

"Well, I guess it's nice to see you too." Jimin finally says after a while, emptily smiling. "I..."

He tries, but fails and he sighs, kissing his teeth.

"What do you want?" He settles for.

"To talk." Taehyung stated, grip hardening around his clothing. Jimin gulped a little, but quickly regained a blank face. "Jungkook's café is still open for special guests." 

"I'll decline."

"You're not." Taehyung pulled at him again, slowly dragging him and Jimin feels that he really does not have a choice. Jungkook gave him a pointed look from the sidelines. "Besides, you did most of the work running there. The café is just around the corner. How convenient."

Jimin knows he can't fight back right now, so he lets himself be pulled away. The bells jingle as the door to the café is opened, and Jungkook goes to speak with his manager in a different room. Taehyung sits Jimin down on a chair, disappearing for a moment before coming back out with a tray of pumpkin seed bread and cheesecake. He sets it down.

"So." Taehyung says as he begins pulling at his hair strands. "What brings you outside."

"I was going to a bar."

"Ah." 

Another silence permeate the air, before Jungkook comes out, finally. He sits himself down, smiling at Jimin, but Jimin can't help but feel that Jungkook's nervous.

"Hyung, it's been a while. How have you been doing?"

"I'm doing fine."

"Anything new come up?"

Jimin paused.

"No."

"How about Yoongi?"

And now Jimin gets the picture. He rises from his seat. Emotions bubble chaotically within him, guilt and shame eating at his frays and broken seams. But, instead of showing it, he once again forces a smile.

"I don't think we need to discuss this." Jimin says, standing up and dusting off his clothes. His hand gets caught in Taehyung's, but he quickly slaps himself free.

Standing up, Jungkook fixed him with a rare stern look. "Maybe you don't think so, but this - this situation that has started now doesn't just involve you."

"Put me outside of it, then." Jimin looks down at the table, blinking. "I don't want anything to do with this anymore."

"Well, unfortunately, you will have to anyway."

Jimin jerked at the sound of the voice, whirling around to the entrance of the café. A man with a cap, sunglasses and a face mask stepped in, chest heaving lightly. Ripping off the accessories revealed the man's face, a smile stretching his features. It was calm and collected, but the parted mouth, slight flush and the shallow breaths gave his desperation away. He had clearly run here. Jimin grit and spat,

"Seokjin."

Seokjin sauntered over, pulling out a chair and sitting down. With a smile he faced Jimin.

"Jimin."

"What do you want?" Jimin sighs and he wants to be done with this.

"To talk." Seokjin says, and Jimin knows that this won't work at all. "It's been a few weeks. You barely contacted us at all after the hotel. What, something happen on the way back?"

"You know what." Jimin says because he has a feeling that the other knows already. Seokjin makes a pause, before speaking again with that goddamn annoying smile of his.

"Yes. I do."

"Then what is there to talk about?" Jimin stands up once again, just about ready to leave. "I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

Jimin screws his eyes shut after that because he knows what face Jungkook and Taehyung will bear at that. But he'll sacrifice it. This time, he'll do it. He doesn't know why, and he doesn't want to care. But he cannot help but think - _What were all of those years I've spent with them for? Just for this? For me to throw it all away because of... of..._

His thoughts come to a stop as Seokjin, once again, sighs. This time, he's blunt.

"You've got a problem." He taps the table with his fingers, and Jimin can't bring himself to tell him it's annoying, stop, leave him alone. He leaves his face a blank at the comment, because he can't show what's whirling inside right now, flipping all of his guts upside down like a hurricane. It's ugly - he decides. It's ugly and unfamiliar and Jimin doesn't like it. 

When Jimin doesn't answer Seokjin repeats himself.

"Park Jimin, you have got a problem."

And this time his face wavers.

"I know I've got a fucking problem!" He yells, "Don't goddamn meddle, it's not your place, Seokjin! I'm so tired, so goddamn fucking _tired_ of you always coming with that _fucking_ _smile_ on your face like you aren't bothered by anything! Do - do you even care? Why the hell are you doing this!? Fucking around with me just to see when I'll cave in? Is this fun for you? Going around and sticking your nose where it doesn't belong, playing the hero, doing your so called 'good' deeds for others. Is it fun? Well!? _Is it fun_!?"

Jimin screams and afterwards he heaves, and a small curl of satisfaction swirls in his stomach as Seokjin falters. His smile turns into a straight line, then a frown. Jimin calms himself, when he decides it's been enough already.

"Yeah, I have a problem. But I won't bother you anymore with my things, so - so can you just... leave me alone?"

It hurts to say it, and Jimin almost _revels_ in the rare pain which has been so long since he truly felt.

But, instead of trembling words or desperation, Seokjin instantly fixes him with a pointed gaze, as if he was prepared for this all along. 

"Do you want to fix this problem of yours, Jimin?"

Jimin cries out in frustration.

"I don't need your help!"

" _Then why don't you fix it!?_ " Seokjin stands up, slamming his hands on the table. Jimin watches as Jungkook and Taehyung flinch, and he can't deny the shudder that runs through his own body. The room is silent as the chair behind Seokjin falls to the floor after a few rounds of waving around. 

"I - I don't... know..." Jimin stammers because he feels like he needs to answer. Seokjin pins him with a fierce look that Jimin has never seen before, and he almost wants to shout as the other man moves around the table towards him. He stops just a few inches away from the other - staring him down. 

"What do you feel for him?" _Yoongi_.

Jimin chokes. "S-stop."

"Answer!"

"Leave me alone!"

Seokjin sighs, frustrated. He turns to Jungkook. 

"Prepare a room!"

"Yes, Hyung!" 

Jungkook looks at Taehyung, and he nods, seemingly understanding the other's gaze. The scurry away into another room of the café.

"I'm not staying over."

Seokjin doesn't say anything, so Jimin walks away.

"I'm going!"

But when he presses down the door handle of the door, he finds it's locked. He turns around with a deadly glare. He's met with a smile that Jimin doesn't have the energy to get annoyed at.

"You're not leaving until we have talked."

 

*

 

**Kim Yugyeoms POV**

 

_At the same time..._

 

"Hey. Jaebum-ah."

"It's Hyung."

"Hey. Hyung."

"Yes?"

"How's it going?"

Jaebum sighs and turns to him, fixing him with an exasperated glare. "This is what you wanted to ask?"

"Aigh, come on. Let's talk about something, it's so quiet."

"Well, let's talk then. Didn't you say you met a cute guy at work?"

Yugyeom pipes up, a smile broadening on his face. "Yeah. He's really cute. Short. Small fingers. He's nice."

"Any plans with him?"

Yugyeom giggles a little childishly, hugging the pillow on the bed he's in closer to his body.

"We'll see."

"We'll see?"

"I have a feeling he's..." Yugyeom searches for his words. "Troubled."

"You intend to help?"

"If he'll allow me to."

Jaebum sighs again, smiling a little helplessly. "You always pick the troubled ones. Why? Because you love taking care of their problems? You should know by experience that the places in which they dwell can be unfathomably dark."

"Yes, well. I don't know. It's just... I want to help someone."

"And that's love? You've gotten hurt in the past."

Now Yugyeoms smile has shrunk, but it still remains.

"I know."

Jaebum smiles gently at him, handing him a few sketches of his storyboard. Yugyeom takes it, immediately starting to look through it.

"What do you think?"

"It's good, as always."

Yugyeom returns the stack of papers and looks up at the ceiling. He wonders about the guy from the bar. Park... Jimin? Was it? Yugyeom smiles for himself a little bit once again.

_I wonder what kind of person he is..._


End file.
